s/o if one of your parents did not provide support after 18?

[Anonymous]

Spinning off on the “if you were kicked out as an adult” thread…..

If one of your parents did not contribute after age 18 - no contribution to college, no support for healthcare costs, no physical space that is yours at their house - but they clearly had a good household income, how did you end up feeling about them? In the ahort term? In the ling term?

This is dissimilar to the “if you were kicked out thread” because the kid lives with and is taken care of by (less wealthy) parent.

Did it affect how you thought of the parent? Did you see if as abandonment? Normal? How did it affect your ability to trust romantic partners of the same sex as the non-providing parent?

I know many people will say no parent has an obligation to support a child after age 18, but IRL most kids in college full time are not going to also work full-time to support themselves and get some kind of help - free place to live in the summer and on holidays, etc., particularly if it is clear that the parent has the financial means to offer at least modest support.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Spinning off on the “if you were kicked out as an adult” thread…..

If one of your parents did not contribute after age 18 - no contribution to college, no support for healthcare costs, no physical space that is yours at their house - but they clearly had a good household income, how did you end up feeling about them? In the ahort term? In the ling term?

This is dissimilar to the “if you were kicked out thread” because the kid lives with and is taken care of by (less wealthy) parent.

Did it affect how you thought of the parent? Did you see if as abandonment? Normal? How did it affect your ability to trust romantic partners of the same sex as the non-providing parent?

I know many people will say no parent has an obligation to support a child after age 18, but IRL most kids in college full time are not going to also work full-time to support themselves and get some kind of help - free place to live in the summer and on holidays, etc., particularly if it is clear that the parent has the financial means to offer at least modest support.

I won't hold it against them but obviously won't be there for them the way I'll be for the parent who sacrificed more even after 18 when they didn't have to.

[Anonymous]

It wasn’t easy but I wasn’t angry with my parents, not in a way that would make me feel vindictive, anyway. They were dealing with their own issues. Forcing me to be independent was good for me in many ways. They loved me. And honestly I was much better off than my friends with rich parents who gave them everything. They had a LOT of advantages in terms of comforts but I am much more capable and skilled.

[Anonymous]

I just felt matter of fact about it. My mother was saying since we were little she wouldn't buy us a car, and once we graduated from high school we'd be on our own. So our relationship was fine on that angle.