No social plans all summer

[Anonymous]

I have been feeling down because we have no social plans on the calendar all summer, other than summer camp for the kids and the kids usual activities (swim class, gymnastics, etc.), plus trips to visit family out of state. No one has invited us to any BBQs, potlucks, picnics, playdates, no trips with friends, or anything else.

I have two kids ages 5 and 7, yet haven't seemed to make the kind of mom friends who invite us to do things. I am always the one reaching out, keeping in touch, hosting playdates, and hosting parties (like our annual Halloween party). Despite all this hosting and reaching out, others don't seem to think of us when they're making plans or thinking about who to invite. I'm tired of never being top of mind for anyone and never being noticed by mom friends even after putting in so much effort to make mom friends. We have no local family which also contributes feeling like we have this social void.

I'm curious if anyone else is in a similar situation with no social plans all summer.

[Anonymous]

Me. Kid going to camp while I work. Not one plan through Labor Day.

[Anonymous]

We don’t have kids, but a lot of our social calendar outside of family is filled with picnics, potlucks, socials, dances, etc. through the organizations I volunteer with and church. And it’s all put on by the orgs so there is no pressure to “reciprocate” plus you see the same faces to build relationships with.

If you have the time to spare, I would recommend getting involved more!

[Anonymous]

Well, I don’t work during the summer and my kids aren’t doing camps. All their friends will be traveling or doing camps so they will have not much going on in terms of socializing all summer. We stay busy enough with hiking, museums, projects, etc. but they are late elementary and need their friends more than they did when they were really little. Oh well. It’s 9 weeks, we’ll get through it.

[Anonymous]

I feel like it’s early. My kids aren’t out of school yet. I feel like I will have social plans but I don’t think I have any plans right now.

We join a local pool that’s hopping on wknd evenings.

[Anonymous]

I joined a moms group when DD was a baby, she’s 10 now but we’ve stayed friends with a core group so we do have plans with some of them on a somewhat monthly basis.
Having said that we also do a lot with groups we’re part of. Do you go to Church or have any hobbies? Volunteer anywhere? Belong to a pool?
I think it’s hard if you work Mon-Fri. I work FT but not everyday so established friendships with moms during the week. It has now spilled into family activities some weekends.

[Anonymous]

You say you have no plans and then list a bunch of plans. Smaller get togethers don’t get planned weeks or months in advance. Be patient.

And instead of relying on kids activities to make friends for you, look into some other adult activities for yourself where you can meet people with similar interests — a fitness class, a book club, etc.

[Anonymous]

Ummmm school gets out in 2 more weeks? I am trying to make it though baseball playoffs, soccer end of season party, cub scouts moving up ceremony, daily swim team practice, field day, etc.

You are worried because you don’t have social plans for July and August? You need to chill.

[Anonymous]

It’s still early. Plus many people don’t host; it’s just not in their bandwidth, or if they do host it’s with just their most familiar friends. Do you see evidence that friends are actually hosting and not including you?

[Anonymous]

BBQs, potlucks, etc aren't generally things that are planned weeks out in my experience. I think my friends would think I was nuts if I sent a invite for a BBQ in July right now.

Also---I have found (raising kids for 15 years in DC) that people tend to be much quieter socially in DC because there is so much criss-crossing travel that occurs. On any given week someone is out of town, etc. So everyone tends to withdraw into their own bubble except for a few last-minute things.

[Anonymous]

OOPS. Previous poster:
left out a critical word or two:

Also---I have found (raising kids for 15 years in DC) that people tend to be much quieter socially IN THE SUMMER in DC because there is so much criss-crossing travel that occurs. On any given week someone is out of town, etc. So everyone tends to withdraw into their own bubble except for a few last-minute things.

People in DC are quieter socially IN THE SUMMER.

[Anonymous]

Goodness, school isn’t even out. Calm your tits. Don’t expect invites to summer stuff when summer has literally not even started.

[Anonymous]

OP, summer hasn’t even started! The only things I have planned in advance for summer are camp for the kids and a family trip. All of the other things will come up as they happen.

[Anonymous]

I was going to host some friends for a Saturdy lunch BBQ then I looked at our calendar and realized _every_ Saturday this month is booked with travel or some family event. Maybe your friends are just busy?

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure how many people have social plans this far in advance, but sorry you're sad. Join a pool, I guess? Make your own plans?