Best friend let me down after we moved close

[Anonymous]

During Covid, my family and I moved 800 miles to start a new life in warmer climate where my DH and I had a long term, close friend from our college days. We didn’t move explicitly to be closer to this person, but valued the friendship and all of us were very happy with how life was turning out for relationships.


After an initial honeymoon period, the friend got angry at me for a perceived slight and quickly cut off communication 100%. It’s been two months now and I feel so alone and hurt by the fact that we live somewhere where we know no one other than the friend and they have totally ghosted us. We don’t have the money or desire to move again, so our next 10-20 years will now be tainted by this painful event.

Has anyone been in my shoes? It would
help to hear your advice. Thanks!

[Anonymous]

My advice is not to let this event taint the next number of years. It’s sad but it’s time to put some work into meeting other people. You needed to do that anyway because it’s not fair to you or your former friend to expect they will be your only social outlet. Let this be the impetus for you to start putting yourself out there, remember all the reasons you moved, and maybe you will come out the other side with even better friendships. Good luck

[Anonymous]

Maybe you should cut your losses and just head somewhere else before too much time passes. It’ll always hang over your heads and life is too short

[Anonymous]

OP I am so sorry this happened. Are there other aspects of this place you've moved to that you enjoy and can see yourself appreciating for a long time?

Because this, like all things will pass.

Some long term friendships only survive because they are arms-length, via email etc. and when confronted with the day to day they expire.

Its just what happens.

[Anonymous]

What was the slight?

[Anonymous]

I agree with what everyone is saying - get out there and make new friends!

[Anonymous]

Why did you move there?

[Anonymous]

Did they get uncomfortable because you were relying on them too much for your social needs?
In any case it’s time to widen your circle.

[Anonymous]

we know no one other than the friend

This is a huge problem. Your problem. You can only maintain friendships IF you are ok with, maybe, also losing them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why did you move there?

This is GOLD!! LMAO

[Anonymous]

Lots of people having 2nd thoughts about their move to Florida these days. I know multiple people/families who’ve come back to DC or are in the process of reversing their COVID moves.

[Anonymous]

You describe her as your best friend even though you haven't been geographically close in years. You've also made no effort to make new friends since moving. You sound a bit dramatic and your friend probably felt like you were "too much". You should be putting your effort into making new friends.

[Anonymous]

Why was she mad at you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:During Covid, my family and I moved 800 miles to start a new life in warmer climate where my DH and I had a long term, close friend from our college days. We didn’t move explicitly to be closer to this person, but valued the friendship and all of us were very happy with how life was turning out for relationships.


After an initial honeymoon period, the friend got angry at me for a perceived slight and quickly cut off communication 100%. It’s been two months now and I feel so alone and hurt by the fact that we live somewhere where we know no one other than the friend and they have totally ghosted us. We don’t have the money or desire to move again, so our next 10-20 years will now be tainted by this painful event.

Has anyone been in my shoes? It would
help to hear your advice. Thanks!

Guess you have to crawl back to her and apologize.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I am so sorry this happened. Are there other aspects of this place you've moved to that you enjoy and can see yourself appreciating for a long time?

Because this, like all things will pass.

Some long term friendships only survive because they are arms-length, via email etc. and when confronted with the day to day they expire.

Its just what happens.

This!!

I’m sorry this happened to you. I had a sort of similar situation with a very long term friend, although we didn’t move or anything.

When the friendship fell apart, my spouse was quick to point out that a lot of the reason the friendship survived as long as it did was because the distance really masked the many differences we had in how we approach life. The distance enabled us to simply focus on our commonalities and kept the friendship going longer than it should have in the first place.