Online Counseling

[Anonymous]

My teen recently had an accident playing sports and had to get surgery immediately, it was a bit traumatic experience and he will bed bound for a few weeks.

It's only been a week, however he's feeling very emotional and low mainly because none of his friends have reached out. Couple of boys texted him and simply said something like, I heard of what happened, that sucks.

But now he's feeling isolated and all these emotions are coming out about not having real friendships, not knowing what he wants to do in his future and questioning himself if he wants to go to college at all, (he's a Junior).

Has anyone used BetterHelp Counseling? or any other online Counseling Services?

How about some good books on Self-help he can read?

We have a lot of talks but he's still feeling low and lost.

[Anonymous]

Try Nate https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/nate-luongo-bethesda-md/347528

[Anonymous]

Teenage boys suck at emotional intelligence and empathy.

They may or may not realize that they are making their friend feel abandoned. I would try to explain this to your DS, but also empower him to tell his friends how their actions are making him feel. Learning how to advocate for yourself and expressing your needs and expectations in any relationship is a key development for healthy connections.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Teenage boys suck at emotional intelligence and empathy.

They may or may not realize that they are making their friend feel abandoned. I would try to explain this to your DS, but also empower him to tell his friends how their actions are making him feel. Learning how to advocate for yourself and expressing your needs and expectations in any relationship is a key development for healthy connections.

This is great advice.

It can be hard to know when to reach out if someone is sick or injured.

I'd also consider reaching out to the coach and the school guidance counselor. A good coach would hopefully nudge the teammates to reach out to foster team building community. A gift guidance counselor might be able to do zoom check ins at the very least.

And if you can afford therapy and your kids is willing, great idea. I'd consider a local office that you might be able to transition to in person, but wouldn't can be long so online might be okay.

[Anonymous]

I'm skeptical of better help. It's a very profit-oriented model and I think that therapists who go there sometimes do it because they aren't good enough to maintain their private practices. That's just my bias but I do know that the FTC made them pay a 8 million dollars to settle lawsuits accusing them of selling their customer's data.

I think the best way to find a therapist is to ask for recommendations from therapists who are currently too booked to take clients or who aren't the kind of therapist you're looking for. That's what I've had the most luck with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm skeptical of better help. It's a very profit-oriented model and I think that therapists who go there sometimes do it because they aren't good enough to maintain their private practices. That's just my bias but I do know that the FTC made them pay a 8 million dollars to settle lawsuits accusing them of selling their customer's data.

I think the best way to find a therapist is to ask for recommendations from therapists who are currently too booked to take clients or who aren't the kind of therapist you're looking for. That's what I've had the most luck with.

I am a social worker and this is my feeling as well. I am in social work groups and folks are finding this a way to make easy/quick money. Yes, they all have the appropriate licensure, but that doesn't mean they have the experience (ie. doc who specializes in cardiac issues seeing you for your neurological issues. They are both licensed MDs, but not necessarily equipped to see all patients.) There is very little oversight and some of the stories I have heard from patients about their therapy experiences, is extremely concerning.

Ask for recommendations. Check out Psychology Today.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks for the recommendations, I'll look for someone local that also has virtual visits.

I'd be sure to stay away from Better Help.

And yes, boys do suck at emotional intelligence and empathy, even my own son. I hope this becomes a nice lesson on empathy for himself as well.

[Anonymous]

Ok - we recently went through Better help for my teenage daughter. Better Help uses a program called Teen Counseling for counseling teens. Here is our experience:

1. We had no problem scheduling our first appointment with our first counselor. But after the first appointment, it was impossible to get a second appointment. When we finally did schedule a second appointment, the counselor canceled on the day of the appointment - citing going to the hospital. Since we were only able to get 1 meeting in a 3 week period, we ended up switching therapists (which is easy to do).

2. Our next therapist was initially awesome. Of all the therapists that my daughter has seen (she saw a couple in person in middle school), this therapist was by far the most relatable, insightful and easy to talk to. We thought that we hit the gold mine (as far as therapists goes). But after the first week and half, the therapist started becoming less responsive. One of the benefits of going through Teen Counseling (i.e. Better Help) is that you are supposed to have access to your counselors on days when you are not meeting with the counselor (since you only meet once a week). This access comes in the form of writing a journal entry and getting feedback. So about a week and half later, this counselor stopped responding to journal entries. Then about 2-3 weeks in, the counselor started canceling at last minute and not responding to messages about rescheduling. Within 6 weeks, this counselor kept telling us many reasons why she couldn't meet with us/respond (i.e. injury, hospitalization, losing power, etc.). Basically, everything that could happen was apparently happening to this counselor. While the cancellations and lack of response was incredibly frustrating - especially when you have a kid that was counting on these appointments - we still wanted to continue because the sessions, themselves, were really phenomenal. But then we got ghosted again and we were told that the therapist would no be continuing for another 6 months due to medical/personal reasons. So that really sucked. My daughter was reluctant to try again - as it is exhausting meeting with a new therapist and telling your whole situation all over again. Also, despite the issues with the last counselor, my daughter felt really connected with her - so when that relationship ended, she felt like it was kind of like a break-up with a close friend.

So in the end, while the convenience of meeting virtually was great - we just weren't impressed with the reliability of the service. However, prior to Covid when we met with a therapist in person, we experienced several situations where the therapist that my daughter was developing a relationship with would leave the practice. So I guess it can happen in any situation.

Also, before finding better, I contacted at least 15 different places for therapy - but a lot of places were booked or not taking minors. I wish there were more options for minors. I think FCPS has partnered with a program/place called Hazel that is supposed to offer free services. However, we have not pursued it.

[Anonymous]

BetterHelp is really poorly suited for teens. Most local practices will be able to offer virtual appointments, or if you prefer a mix of in-person or virtual. I would suggest psychology today or some of the more well know. Group practices as a starting point (though they are often full, they generally will have a good idea of who has openings or may be able to connect you with a talented graduating intern who has all the coursework and is just completing clinical hours). Some of the practices I know that see teens are InStep, Family Center, Family Compass and Falls Church Wellness. Just be sure to ask about school year availability— we got into a jam when last summer we found someone amazing, and then had to take a break for a spot to open up after school (we couldn’t manage daytime availability once school started).