Kid says soccer is only time he is happy. What to do with this info?
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Anonymous
| Title says it all but my 9 yo says this to me. He has adhd and takes adderall and intuniv and does seem grumpy often. BUT he I thought liked school and has friends and seemed to derive enjoyment from other parts of his week. He says he is often bored and that makes him unhappy. He def thrives on being busy and stimulated/ novelty - but already does many things all day. I do not know what to do with this info. Any advice? |
Anonymous
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I think it's sadly common that kids with adhd dislike school and find it incredibly boring. I wish there was a school geared towards more engaging and active learning.
I would try to gear summer and any breaks toward soccer or athletic activities, and he will probably find high school more tolerable if he's part of teams. There's not much more you can do, imo |
Anonymous
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Your kid needs endorphins. Adults need these too, it's sad we don't have school environments that can meet the needs of more of our kids! If your kid is truly miserable at school, you may explore talking this over with his pediatrician and exploring a 504 plan that allows for more kinetic learning, which all but dissappears in the upper grades. Plug as much physical activity into his life as possible, and watch for signs of depression. This is no joke, and I hope you take your kid's feelings/statement seriously. There is plenty you can do that is involved and time-consuming, but ultimately worth it.
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Anonymous
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My ADHD kid who said this at 9 is a happy college athlete doing well so there is hope. But what we had to do for years and years was prioritize getting him physically exhausted. Swim or run before school. Daily soccer for hours after school. People can’t understand how these kids work and I’m sure people judged us as crazy sports parents when the truth was that we didn’t care about the actual sport at all, and just did whatever would exhaust him. School was never enjoyable but was better in a small-class, challenging environment so we moved him to private.
We found concerta was better combined with physical exhaustion. |
Anonymous
Op yes I think this is it. He is in a small private and next year they have more sports (I think I can prob achieve 3d a week after school plus 2-3 sports a weekend) but even with that I considered moving him to a truly sporty school. We are in nyc so doing that requires moves to burbs or he commutes to one out of the city. Like you I don’t care about sports but I have an inkling that they will be key to his happiness in middle school and beyond |
Anonymous
| Same situation with our 8 year old. We just joined travel soccer (3 days a week practice) and year round swimming (2 mornings a week). Games and meets on weekends. Exercise before school is harder sell but that is what we are focusing on to help him get through school days. It will be a long haul until graduation. Good luck, OP. And hugs. |
Anonymous
| Play a lot more soccer. The endorphin effect spreads out in time. |
Anonymous
| Also try to ramp up the proprioceptive input. Think More intensity. Like rock wall climbing. Tons of heavy work |
Anonymous
| Agree about proprioceptive input re: intensity. Teachers could also set him on challenges in subjects he likes. |
Anonymous
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It's difficult, OP. My son found school boring until high school, where picking the most advanced classes made the whole school thing kick into high gear. He even got more than he bargained for in AP Calc BC - boy was that hard!
My middle school DD is complaining now about school, and I'm telling her to just wait until high school. The only class she's not bored in is her 7th grade Honors Geometry, because it's challenging enough to keep her interested, and she loves her teacher, who's sarcastic and throws candy at the kids. But elementary school was s o t e d i o u s. Keep your kid busy outside of school! |
Anonymous
I’m the PP with the college athlete kid and this is a really good point. I didn’t understand at the time why sports that required this sort of input were better at focusing my kid but it is absolutely a thing. We found in HS that weight training (and I mean HARD weight training) had a focusing and calming effect. You have to ignore the people who make comments about sports. I remember people who would say to me, oh, how can he possibly study during the season, he spends so many hours practicing. Meanwhile he always had his best academic months during the high season; when we had to worry was the off season for his primary sport. Finally, I saw above you are in NYC. One thing to consider: the NYC environment may be too stimulating. Our kid likes visiting cities, but when it came to college recruiting, he turned down colleges that were too urban. That wasn’t something I would have picked up on our own, but he was able to identify it as a senior. He spends a lot of time outdoors on his own (practicing on his own, etc) and being outside in a beautiful natural environment seems to be a key regulator for him. The HS he attended was a rigorous HS that sends a lot of kids to college sports. He really thrived there. Good luck. Feel free to ask more if you want, if it is helpful. |
Anonymous
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Be happy it’s not video games but soccer!
Many NT kids don’t like school either |
Anonymous
| Soccer and track and swimming are your best bets. |