Awkward conversation!

[Anonymous]

I was tasked by my boss (male) to inform a couple of very junior (female) employees on our team that the outfits they wear to work are not appropriate. FWIW, I definitely don’t get ‘pervy’ vibes from him regarding this ask: we work in a business professional setting with clients and one woman routinely wears skirts that are WAY too short; the other wears linen pants, open toed shoes, and far too casual attire. He said several people had commented to him about their unprofessional dress and he felt he had to address it but as a man didn’t feel he was the right person

I feel bad because they both are quite young and I would’ve felt like crap if someone had called me out like this early in my career - but I agree it needs to be said. Any tips on having this conversation?

[Anonymous]

He should talk to HR about how to address this.

[Anonymous]

i would involve HR.
at this point in time this could very easily go sideways.

[Anonymous]

I was once asked to do this. I wasn't any kind of manager, but one of the managers asked me to talk to an intern - very short, sheer dresses, and we saw underwear every time she sat down or walk on a big glass stairway in the middle of the facility. I was fairly direct - "Hey - the dresses you wear make it difficult to stay covered when you're on the main stairs where the clients and visitors are or when you're sitting down. The dresses just don't work for when you're in the office"

[Anonymous]

Are there no issues with them besides their mode of dress? Is there anything good you can say about them? If so, you can say how their professionalism is valued, and then work around to why their mode of dress doesn't quite reflect that professionalism, and then work back around to what a good job they do/ how valued they are.

[Anonymous]

Don't dance around it, just be direct. Young women need to be spoken to with the same level of dignity and respect you give your boss (male or female). It's professionalism. FWIW if I were male, I'd ask a trusted female on my team. Because I'm female, I'd just say it directly. They can call me the b... if they want to, but I doubt they would.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are there no issues with them besides their mode of dress? Is there anything good you can say about them? If so, you can say how their professionalism is valued, and then work around to why their mode of dress doesn't quite reflect that professionalism, and then work back around to what a good job they do/ how valued they are.

They’re great employees overall - and fortunately, I’ve already told them this and been very complimentary. This is good advice.

[Anonymous]

“Unfortunately, sexism in the work place is alive and well and us women have to present ourselves in a certain way in order for men to take us seriously…”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“Unfortunately, sexism in the work place is alive and well and us women have to present ourselves in a certain way in order for men to take us seriously…”

Sorry, expecting professional attire isn't sexist. I'm guessing management would have the exact same concerns if a male intern was showing up in shorts and sandals every day.

[Anonymous]

HR should be handling this. You could be subject to liability. By the way I think beards are unprofessional and grosser than opened toed shoes. It is sexism.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:HR should be handling this. You could be subject to liability. By the way I think beards are unprofessional and grosser than opened toed shoes. It is sexism.

Professional attire isn't sexist, and your comparison to facial hair is quite misplaced. Of course, you're not qualified to offer advice if you're going to call beards 'unprofessional and gross', given that beards are also associated with certain religions or may be needed for health reasons.

Sorry that this story doesn't fit your narrative.

[Anonymous]

Don’t step on this landmine. This is HR’s job.

[Anonymous]

What is wrong with linen pants and open-toed shoes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Unfortunately, sexism in the work place is alive and well and us women have to present ourselves in a certain way in order for men to take us seriously…”

Sorry, expecting professional attire isn't sexist. I'm guessing management would have the exact same concerns if a male intern was showing up in shorts and sandals every day.

Plus 1 million. I guarantee if men had been showing up with that much skin and sandals something would have been said as well.
Misogyny in the workplace is real, but this isn’t it and you aren’t helping the cause.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is wrong with linen pants and open-toed shoes?

They are just too casual for the environment. Majority of men and women wear suits; the ones who are not are wearing dark trousers/long pencil skirts and conservative tops. I agree they would be fine in many workplaces!