Choosing donor sperm

[Anonymous]

Looking at xytex right now and just so overwhelmed.

If you choose a donor from a nationwide bank which bank and what was your deciding factor?

Any donor ids that made your short list?

We are working with our clinic and therapist but this is still a weird process. DH almost wants it to be randomized but we are both most concerned with the health screening

[Anonymous]

I used Xytex (awhile ago). I liked the donor's essay. It seemed like he might be open to meeting in the future and he seemed like an interesting guy. I chose someone who looked a little like me and my husband. My DC looks identical to me, people tell me all the time. Some friends from my infertility group were looking for specific qualities (eye color, dimples, etc). Definitely a weird process and for someone like me who has trouble making decisions, it was super hard.

[Anonymous]

I used California Cryobank. I liked their selection and the fact they had an office local to me made things convenient.

In terms of choosing donor - the donor essay was the most important piece of information.

Also considered whether they looked a little like me as well.

I did also look through the health information and wanted one that was open to being contacted when my DC was 18.

[Anonymous]

Definitely looked at height as the #1 factor. Than other physical factors likely to lead to success in life.

Found the essays sort of trite and artificial TBH.

[Anonymous]

We used California Cryobank. We chose a donor who had similar physical characteristics to DH and good education.

[Anonymous]

I used Sperm Bank of CA, in part because the limited donor list was less daunting. I mostly focused race (my partner is a POC), why the donor wanted to donate, and family health history (didn’t want overlapping cancer/etc health histories). That cut us down to 3 donors we liked, so we rotated through them for each insemination attempt until we had our first kid. Then we stuck with that donor for the second child.

[Anonymous]

If you want to have more than one child from the same donor then keep an eye out for availability. I guess the donor we picked was popular because the vials ran out and people wanted more.

[Anonymous]

People also make private arrangements, although there are potential legal liabilities if you opt to go that route.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Looking at xytex right now and just so overwhelmed.

If you choose a donor from a nationwide bank which bank and what was your deciding factor?

Any donor ids that made your short list?

We are working with our clinic and therapist but this is still a weird process. DH almost wants it to be randomized but we are both most concerned with the health screening

Since DH is involved in your decision, it seems logical to try to match his physical attributes, if for no other reason than avoid nosy people’s unkind gossip.

[Anonymous]

I looked at a few banks. Im single. I had a few criteria- no major health red flags, looks like me, tall like me, graduate degree. I used a code someone gave me free online to get the upgraded access at Fairfax and listened to the audio and looked at adult photos. The donor I went with- when i listened to his audio I cried. Most were not very eloquent and you could tell hadnt really thought thru what they were doing.

[Anonymous]

Anyone choose a male friend, acquaintance, or distant relative?

If so, did you involve a lawyer / get a release signed?

[Anonymous]

We got subscriptions for California Cryo, Fairfax and Seattle, but ultimately went with sperm from California.

I made a spreadsheet based on certain factors (no serious health issues in family, test scores, BMI, attractiveness based on staff comments etc) and generally went for donors with similar features to my wife and me (we look similar enough). I know California offers a face match option but we didn't do that.

After coming up with the long list, wife and I narrowed it down by going through the voice interviews and the submitted essays. She thought most of them sounded annoying so we ultimately went with essentially the only one she didn't find annoying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anyone choose a male friend, acquaintance, or distant relative?

If so, did you involve a lawyer / get a release signed?

Watch “Nuclear Family” on HBO and come back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone choose a male friend, acquaintance, or distant relative?

If so, did you involve a lawyer / get a release signed?

Watch “Nuclear Family” on HBO and come back.

That is fiction, you know.

[Anonymous]

I would do it randomly. We have friends that used donor sperm for their 2 kids. Different donors but both blonde blue eyed rocket scientist types. Paid more for this criteria….. well one kid has autism and the other one has some other issues.
Not sure what bank they used.