Sad I’m not looking forward to the summer

[Anonymous]

I am privileged to now not have to work during the summer. I dreamed of this when I was working long hours at an intense job with little vacation time. However, my youngest child is very difficult, has adhd and possibly autism. The child tries to be social and wants friends but things can turn on a dime and they will be violent and spew swear words to other children- sometimes I don’t know what the trigger even is. I am on edge any time we go out in public. When school is over I will have zero breaks from this child because I cannot trust them enough to go to any camps and getting sitters is impossible. My dreams of a fun summer with my kids at the pool and beach are just dampened by this child. Does anyone have any ideas on how to spend the summer with a child like this? The child is going into 2nd grade and also has older siblings that have cried about just wanting a normal sibling. It makes me sad his behaviour is effectively ruining being able to have a happy childhood. I am not a happy mom, I feel sad for my child. I’m trying to help them with various therapies and medication but it’s still extremely hard.

[Anonymous]

Where do you live and what camps have you looked into?
I can’t imagine you can’t find a sitter at least a couple of half days a week if you pay enough. A HS student looking for PT hours.

[Anonymous]

I think you need special needs camp and a special needs babysitter so your summer (and siblings ) summer is awful.

[Anonymous]

What special needs camps are in Virginia?

[Anonymous]

Summer, school breaks, long weekends, etc. - the worst.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am privileged to now not have to work during the summer. I dreamed of this when I was working long hours at an intense job with little vacation time. However, my youngest child is very difficult, has adhd and possibly autism. The child tries to be social and wants friends but things can turn on a dime and they will be violent and spew swear words to other children- sometimes I don’t know what the trigger even is. I am on edge any time we go out in public. When school is over I will have zero breaks from this child because I cannot trust them enough to go to any camps and getting sitters is impossible. My dreams of a fun summer with my kids at the pool and beach are just dampened by this child. Does anyone have any ideas on how to spend the summer with a child like this? The child is going into 2nd grade and also has older siblings that have cried about just wanting a normal sibling. It makes me sad his behaviour is effectively ruining being able to have a happy childhood. I am not a happy mom, I feel sad for my child. I’m trying to help them with various therapies and medication but it’s still extremely hard.

Camps specifically for special needs children:

https://theauburnschool.org/summer-programs/camp-aristotle-fairfax-campus/

https://www.lcfkids.com/special-needs-summer-camp

[Anonymous]

I would look into impulse control and/or anti-anxiety medication.

it is really hard to find camps who take kids with behavior problems (trust me, i know).

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry, this is really hard. Can you at least pick a few days that your spouse (or a grandparent?) can watch your 2nd grader and you can do something special with your other child? Maybe allowing them to invite a friend or something? And hire a babysitter for your other child or put them in some special camps for a break.

Each of my kids has had tough periods and having1:1 time with the other one really helped (me and them).

I’m going to be honest, at that age I do really think you could find a babysitter for this child, at least a few hours at a time. Especially if you have the sibling out of the house and allow screens or whatever. I was in your shoes during the pandemic when my SN kid was 4/5 but now they can manage a babysitter fine. Just pay A LOT.

[Anonymous]

Fairfax County has a camp for neurodiverse children and young adults that sounds like it could work for your kid if they don’t need 1:1 support. https://www.fairfaxcounty.gov/neighborhood-community-services/therapeutic-recreation-camp

[Anonymous]

Camp Sonshine takes kids with adhd/autism. My kid had a friend with both in the discovery age group. They can’t be the only regular camp that takes SN kids.

[Anonymous]

Please please spend some time with just your NT kids…

[Anonymous]

Auburn has a camp. How does he do in school
And what support does he need? Would he do a sleep away camp
Like Summit?

[Anonymous]

The JCC in Fairfax is great with kids like this. They have a SN program. There are lots of SN camps in fact. That was never our issue. But I get that downtime and relaxing things like the pool suck. It will change over time. Op, it sounds like you have some legwork to do though. Your kid should already be in OT and probably speech and you should have considered appropriate camps, no?

[Anonymous]

Second the JCC camps. You don’t have to be Jewish. And check out Fairfax County Park Authority. They used to have funds to hire an aide to shadow kids with IEPs. Talk to your school social worker about it.

[Anonymous]

For some kids, staying home while the rest of family goes out can be a relief for the kid, if you can have someone stay with him.