Is my career comprimising son's treatment?

[Anonymous]

I believe that it is healthy and beneficial to the whole family for a mom to work. My career, however - stressful, demanding (on call 24/7), and in addition to my almost 60 hours I have a 3 hour daily commute.

My 2 year old is in Early Intervention, and in the fall will continue on in a program that we/his team decide on at the IEP meeting. He has speech delay, SPD, and PDD-nos, with possible ADHD. We get our final diagnosis on 7/8. He is making great progress but is far from done with therapy and one of the biggest areas affected is his nutrition. He is going to reqiure a more intense program tahn we had anticipated when he transitions out of Infants & Toddlers.

My husband is able to be the primary participant in his program and is home 3 days a week with him (for now) so this helps a lot. He also works hard the other 4 days of the week so he is pretty spent himself. Between both of us, we are very engaged and are constantly working with our son. But if I had to be honest, I would say that we barely have time to keep up with his treatment the way he needs us to.

I may have opportunities to take on a position closer to home, "normal" hours, and less stress. I am afraid to do this because I am the primary source of income and we are struggling. But where do you draw the line? In my heart I feel I should be there more for my son, and for my whole family as I am very burned out. I have invested a lot in my current position and would hate to throw it away, I am afraid I am missing valuable time with my sone and family. This position is not as lucrative as I had hoped either, which makes it even more of a stretch for us. I am so exhausted that it is very difficult to take care of myself, our home and my own husband.

Has anyone changed careers as a special needs parent? Any advice?

Thank you for listening

Torn Mommy

[Anonymous]

Just based on what you've said above, it sounds like you need to make the change. It sounds like you want and need to be more involved with your child, and that would help in the long run, as your child progresses through school, friends, etc, you'll get to know his or her needs better. Does the change in job affect health insurance? Maybe you'd get better coverage for therapies you may need for your child down the road?

[Anonymous]

Except for two 6-month maternity leaves, I've always worked, and I'm a huge supporter of working moms, but I have to say, your job sounds like it leaves very little time for your family, much less time for intervention. 60 hours a week plus a 3 hour commute? When do you see your children? Something's gotta give.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Except for two 6-month maternity leaves, I've always worked, and I'm a huge supporter of working moms, but I have to say, your job sounds like it leaves very little time for your family, much less time for intervention. 60 hours a week plus a 3 hour commute? When do you see your children? Something's gotta give.

I agree with this. I'm also a full time working mom of two kids. My week is generally between 40 - 50 hours with a 1/2 hr commute each way. That leaves me with just a few hours each day with my kids while they are awake. I couldn't imagine having any less.

[Anonymous]

I work also and at one point, my DS was doing all the therapy appointments since I was in the hot seat. We have now switched and I have cut back on my hours and he travels weekly. Someone has to be there though. It sounds like both of you have to make some changes.

My DC is now 10. He has responded very well to all the interventions he has had. I believe our family life would nto be as calm and as pleasant if we had not done it. Give up the working time now for a payoff later was our approach and it worked- these interventions work better when your child is younger. We also live a very simple life - no cable, rarely each out, live in a condo, own one car, take metro, go to free things. It is really is a set of choices so we could afford the therapies.

[Anonymous]

I had to completely change my career path and decrease work a lot, but I am not the primary provider so it's a different situation. You have a husband who can be very involved. That's good. I think you need to figure out what you both can handle and find a way to make peace with what you both choose. You are under tremedous stress. Beating yourself up doesn't help you or your chilld. My husband can't do much with our child interventionwise and he doesn't beat himself up (as far as I know). We have an understanding of how things divide up and him bringing home a paycheck is vital and just as important as what I do with the kids and the little money I can contribute at this point. Are you burnt out because of feeling guilty or burnt out because you don't enjoy your job? Are there female mentors there you can privately talk with about your situation. I wish I could be more helpful and I really wish I could say something to make you feel less burnt out. I do know this..you are not alone. Many people feel this way even those with kids who don't have SN.