Funniest things you’ve seen while stuck in Beltway traffic

[Anonymous]

In response to the sexual banana thread.

If you’ve been stuck in 495 traffic and resorted to people watching, especially during the warmer months when people may have their windows down, what are the funniest and strangest things you’ve seen?

I’ll go first:

A couple making out
A lot of nose-pickers who definitely do not realize how visible they are
A license plate “H8 495”
Somebody actually attempting to change their clothes
Somebody trying to break open a crab (yes it was Maryland)

And not a person, but I saw an upright bathtub on the side of the beltway in PG

[Anonymous]

The driver (a grown man) sucking his thumb. I watched him for about 3 minutes straight and he was seriously sucking his thumb.

[Anonymous]

Not on 495, but Lee Hwy. When I was a kid some guy passed our bus with his pants unzipped flashing all the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In response to the sexual banana thread.

the what.

[Anonymous]

We were stuck in beltway rush hour traffic and my 5 year old had to pee. I emptied out my gatorade bottle and handed it to him. Some one witnessed a kid peeing in the backseat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In response to the sexual banana thread.

the what.

It's literally two posts down, dude.

[Anonymous]

Circa 1993 sitting in bumper to bumper traffic and looking over to see an older businessman type reading a newspaper with the paper splayed out over his steering wheel and dash.

[Anonymous]

A person flossing their teeth.
Full make up application.
Nose picking, of course.
Nail painting.
Reading an actual book.
Writing in a journal.
Arguing with passenger
Arguing on the phone.
A clown who was smoking.

[Anonymous]

Several years ago, on M Street in Georgetown I saw a convertible limo and there were these businessmen types reading newspapers, etc. Looked like a scene out of a movie or something.

[Anonymous]

Connecticut Ave exit, rush hour and usual traffic which was just not moving. Middle Eastern man jumped out of his, dropped his pants, and relieved himself right there on the asphalt. I laughed, my DS was horrified.

[Anonymous]

I once saw a tank on 495. Like the kind on the battlefield. Or something similar to a tank, but it didn't have tractor treads, just regular wheels. Just as I was doing a double take, the radio announces that a tank has been sighted on 495. I can only suppose it was being transported from one base to another. This was around 25 years ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not on 495, but Lee Hwy. When I was a kid some guy passed our bus with his pants unzipped flashing all the kids.

Yeah, not 495, but 395 on the way back from a field trip to the National Gallery. Guy driving with a map in his lap, then removed it and flashed us. Not sure he appreciated a bunch of HS girls laughing so hard we couldn’t breathe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I once saw a tank on 495. Like the kind on the battlefield. Or something similar to a tank, but it didn't have tractor treads, just regular wheels. Just as I was doing a double take, the radio announces that a tank has been sighted on 495. I can only suppose it was being transported from one base to another. This was around 25 years ago.

A hummer?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Circa 1993 sitting in bumper to bumper traffic and looking over to see an older businessman type reading a newspaper with the paper splayed out over his steering wheel and dash.

I grew up in LA and had a long commute to a doctors appointment 3 days a week. I would get stuck in bumper to bumper traffic where you sit for a few minutes then move up a car length. I read Moby Dick for my Lit class only while in traffic. I was the driver.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Circa 1993 sitting in bumper to bumper traffic and looking over to see an older businessman type reading a newspaper with the paper splayed out over his steering wheel and dash.

I grew up in LA and had a long commute to a doctors appointment 3 days a week. I would get stuck in bumper to bumper traffic where you sit for a few minutes then move up a car length. I read Moby Dick for my Lit class only while in traffic. I was the driver.

Very appropriate choice of book.