Class gift for teacher: help me understand

[Anonymous]

So the room parent for my first grader organized a group holiday gift for the teacher. She collected contributions for a gift card, stating that she would pool the contributions and create a card signed by the families who went in on the gift. Sounded great, so I contributed $50. Room parent shared a photo of the gift card and card. Gift card was for something like $120, signed by like 12 families. Imagine my surprise!

Here we are now with teacher appreciation approaching. Same room parent has communicated about a similar gift card from the class and is collecting contributions. I replied all and asked what the suggested contribution is. She replies back “whatever you feel like giving”. What is the strategy behind this lack of guidance? If we all contribute $5, fine, but I don’t want to contribute what I would like to ($50) and have it come out do uneven.

Spouse says we should just forget the class gift and do our own thing.

WWYD and what am I missing here?

FWIW, our family income is probably in the lower half at this school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So the room parent for my first grader organized a group holiday gift for the teacher. She collected contributions for a gift card, stating that she would pool the contributions and create a card signed by the families who went in on the gift. Sounded great, so I contributed $50. Room parent shared a photo of the gift card and card. Gift card was for something like $120, signed by like 12 families. Imagine my surprise!

Here we are now with teacher appreciation approaching. Same room parent has communicated about a similar gift card from the class and is collecting contributions. I replied all and asked what the suggested contribution is. She replies back “whatever you feel like giving”. What is the strategy behind this lack of guidance? If we all contribute $5, fine, but I don’t want to contribute what I would like to ($50) and have it come out do uneven.

Spouse says we should just forget the class gift and do our own thing.

WWYD and what am I missing here?

FWIW, our family income is probably in the lower half at this school.

You're not missing anything but you're putting two things together that don't fit.

1. You've been told to give what you like (as have the other parents)
2. You are giving what you like but are disappointed in what others are giving.

So either--continue to give what you want, change the amount that you feel is appropriate based on your last experience, or do your own thing as your spouse says

[Anonymous]

I don’t know if it would help you, but several room parents have been sending distribution of contributions (no names) if asked by other parents what to send. It is really meant to be as much you can or prefer.

Something like
$5 - x contributions
$10 - y contributions

….
I would ask.

[Anonymous]

This happened to me last year in K. We had always had a suggested contribution of $100 per child at our preschool for holiday gifts, so I contributed $100 to our K class fund which was to be split between lead and assistant teacher. The full gift amount collected was $800, so I had contributed 1/8 of it. I am also confused, and do not know what you're missing (because I'm missing it too!). To solve for it this year, I just contributed less to the class fund (I think I gave $25 at the holidays) but have taken other opportunities to gift to my son's first grade teacher (i.e. gift cards for other random reasons like "back to school", valentines day, "happy spring break").

[Anonymous]

Whatever doesn't make you resentful if yours turns out to be one of the only contributions.

[Anonymous]

I’d just do an individual gift and skip the group gift. Or contribute $5-$10 (as that seems to be the norm for the group) to the group gift, and give an individual gift if you like.

[Anonymous]

It just really depends on the area you live in.
For a public school, your contribution is high in my experience. The people who contribute is shockingly low. Now you know.
Give what you want and don’t be resentful. The point is to treat the teacher - which happens no matter where it comes from.
I always prefer when there is a suggested contribution too

[Anonymous]

What’s the problem? Give what you feel comfortable giving and don’t worry about how much others contribute.

[Anonymous]

You should follow your spouse advice and Do your own thing.

[Anonymous]

Once burned twice shy OP.

I have been in your shoes (in a cluster that can afford to give $$ so this was not due to an affordability issue).

Going forward, I donated the token $5 to the group gift and then did something separate for teacher and/or classroom needs (e.g., purchase books for her use in the classroom at the scholastic fair, based on a wish list).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So the room parent for my first grader organized a group holiday gift for the teacher. She collected contributions for a gift card, stating that she would pool the contributions and create a card signed by the families who went in on the gift. Sounded great, so I contributed $50. Room parent shared a photo of the gift card and card. Gift card was for something like $120, signed by like 12 families. Imagine my surprise!

Here we are now with teacher appreciation approaching. Same room parent has communicated about a similar gift card from the class and is collecting contributions. I replied all and asked what the suggested contribution is. She replies back “whatever you feel like giving”. What is the strategy behind this lack of guidance? If we all contribute $5, fine, but I don’t want to contribute what I would like to ($50) and have it come out do uneven.

Spouse says we should just forget the class gift and do our own thing.

WWYD and what am I missing here?

FWIW, our family income is probably in the lower half at this school.

What you are missing is that people are cheap sometimes, even those who can afford to do anything, just don't. I see your point. $120 over 12 families looks like $10/pp, when in reality it was not.

[Anonymous]

OP does your school system have a gift limit?

[Anonymous]

I don't know why you're so confused. Most people give $5-10. You know that now.

So, you can give $5 or 10, or you can give 0, or you can give $50. That's entirely up to you. There is no additional information that you could possibly have here.

Bottom line:
If you just want to give what's typical, give $10.
If you want to be generous, give $50.
If you want the teacher to know that you personally gave a lot of money? Then yeah, you've gotta do your own thing.

[Anonymous]

Do you want credit for the gift? Then give the teacher your $50. Do you want the teacher to feel great about the class going in on a nice gift for her? Then give the room parent your $50. I typically give $10-20 fwiw.

[Anonymous]

We give what we are comfortable giving and don’t worry about others. We normally give more based on the final amount that the room parent shares and that is fine. I don’t need the Teacher to know we give X amount or anything along those lines. We normally give $50 at the holidays and $40 for Teacher Appreciation week. We will send in supplies the Teachers ask for and buy a book off the wish list. We are able to afford it and we really appreciate how hard a Teachers job is to do.