Would your summer swim coach bench a top swimmer for bad behavior?

[Anonymous]

Several parents on our upper-division NVSL team haven’t registered for summer 2023 because of a child who is a top points earner but toxic otherwise (won’t practice, won’t listen, badmouths and complains about her teammates, screams at her hapless parents on the deck, etc.).

Generally, I appreciate the black and white nature of swim - the top times qualify for A meets and that’s all there is to it. Our coach appears unwilling to deviate from this practice, even if it means losing some families or guaranteeing a less fun summer for others.

Is this the norm? What would your coach do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Several parents on our upper-division NVSL team haven’t registered for summer 2023 because of a child who is a top points earner but toxic otherwise (won’t practice, won’t listen, badmouths and complains about her teammates, screams at her hapless parents on the deck, etc.).

Generally, I appreciate the black and white nature of swim - the top times qualify for A meets and that’s all there is to it. Our coach appears unwilling to deviate from this practice, even if it means losing some families or guaranteeing a less fun summer for others.

Is this the norm? What would your coach do?

Maybe it's too late but can you/they swim for another pool/team?

This is too bad because summer swim is supposed to be more fun/social.

[Anonymous]

If she's not there or practicing how is it an issue for the other swimmers. Just ignore her. She behaves that way as it gets her attention. Most club swimmers don't practice at the summer pool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Several parents on our upper-division NVSL team haven’t registered for summer 2023 because of a child who is a top points earner but toxic otherwise (won’t practice, won’t listen, badmouths and complains about her teammates, screams at her hapless parents on the deck, etc.).

Generally, I appreciate the black and white nature of swim - the top times qualify for A meets and that’s all there is to it. Our coach appears unwilling to deviate from this practice, even if it means losing some families or guaranteeing a less fun summer for others.

Is this the norm? What would your coach do?

How is the team/club structured? Is there a board w/ some oversight of the team? It would seem that if this swimmer is that bad, it would be universally recognized and they could do something. But now you are getting into "politics" and the dynamics of the people/parents involved, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If she's not there or practicing how is it an issue for the other swimmers. Just ignore her. She behaves that way as it gets her attention. Most club swimmers don't practice at the summer pool.

She’s not a club swimmer, just very fast. Always there but refusing to get in the water and causing drama.

[Anonymous]

I am a rep and no matter how fast she is we would not seed her if she is disruptive, unsportsmanlike, or a bully. That is part of the NVSL as well and I know my coach would agree.


You should reach out to the reps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a rep and no matter how fast she is we would not seed her if she is disruptive, unsportsmanlike, or a bully. That is part of the NVSL as well and I know my coach would agree.


You should reach out to the reps.

I am as well and we have a code of conduct as well as safe sport standards that we endorse and enforce.

[Anonymous]

It wouldn’t be tolerated. It isn’t the norm.

Have these concerned parents let the team rep know why they haven’t registered?

[Anonymous]

I’ve never seen a top athlete benched for any significant length of time, in any sport, due to behavior. Ridiculous as that is…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve never seen a top athlete benched for any significant length of time, in any sport, due to
behavior. Ridiculous as that is…

Yep. Coaches rarely do the right thing in these cases. If you’re fast you get away with a lot more in environments where the top priority is winning. That’s the price you pay swimming in the top division of the crazy NVSL.

[Anonymous]

Check the NVSL and pool codes of conduct. Mandatory SafeSport training for reps and coaches also reference this sort of thing. Unacceptable.

Talk to your rep and your pool board.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like a nightmare, but I don’t know if this kid will or should be benched. If you had a kid who was behaved the same way but was a terrible swimmer, I bet they would be allowed to swim. This is summer swim - families pay dues to the club, pay any additional fees for summer swim, and expect their kid to be included in a recreational activity that their dues subsidize.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she's not there or practicing how is it an issue for the other swimmers. Just ignore her. She behaves that way as it gets her attention. Most club swimmers don't practice at the summer pool.

She’s not a club swimmer, just very fast. Always there but refusing to get in the water and causing drama.

Then, it's a coaching issue. The coach needs to tell her to get in the water and swim or go sit down and stop complying. The team rep needs to handle it as well with the parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve never seen a top athlete benched for any significant length of time, in any sport, due to
behavior. Ridiculous as that is…

Yep. Coaches rarely do the right thing in these cases. If you’re fast you get away with a lot more in environments where the top priority is winning. That’s the price you pay swimming in the top division of the crazy NVSL.

In the top teams the coaches generally get bonuses for wins so they aren't going to be motivated to tell the child they cannot swim.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve never seen a top athlete benched for any significant length of time, in any sport, due to
behavior. Ridiculous as that is…

Yep. Coaches rarely do the right thing in these cases. If you’re fast you get away with a lot more in environments where the top priority is winning. That’s the price you pay swimming in the top division of the crazy NVSL.

In the top teams the coaches generally get bonuses for wins so they aren't going to be motivated to tell the child they cannot swim.

I do wonder if our coach gets a bonus or just cares a lot about winning. Is a bonus standard for NVSL coaches?

I am not the type to make waves, but I appreciate the feedback about potentially contacting the reps. I fear it will look like sour grapes or that I want the child benched so my kid or my friends’ kids can swim instead. What I actually want is for the age group as a whole to be able to have fun and support each other.

-OP