Anyone have sibling you are not close to who love bombs everytime she needs something?

[Anonymous]

I grew up with the classic GC scenario. Sister was GC and went beyond sibling rivalry in her cruelty which parents refused to see. Brother cut her off long ago, but I stupidly wanted to maintain some sort of distant cordial contact. I cannot count on her for anything but chaos, and undermining me, but any time she wants something a bunch of amazon "bombs"/gifts show up at our home. It's a bunch of junk we don't want and we end up donating, but it's so predictable. I hear clunk, clunk, clunk as the delivery truck drops off this junk dump (she used to do used stuff from ebay, bow it's new stuff made in China instead). My first thought is "what does she want now?" Sure enough the major favor request comes. If I decline, she starts a massive drama and gets our nutty mother involved and goes on about how generous she has been with gifts. So, I asked her to stop sending gifts at all. Love is not purchased. We are not close. If it's a favor I think is reasonable sometimes I do it, but the junk bombs of love just create work donating it all.

Anyway after her latest meltdown when I would do a major favor she stopped the love bombs and she stopped talking to me which has been a huge relief. One of my kids wanted to keep in touch with her. She is a teenager and we let her make her own decisions for stuff like that. Sure enough the other day, clunk, clunk, clunk. A love bomb arrived. Then, this morning, a text of an insane request came. My daughter is so annoyed.She declined to do what her aunt wants and had to block my sister as the texts bombs came. Luckily we discovered a donation place that comes to us so we will set something up.

What is with people? Love develops over years with trust and kindness and loyalty. You cannot be an awful person, drop some love bombs and expect people to do things for you.

[Anonymous]

Your brother was smart. You brought this on yourself and your DD.

[Anonymous]

What kinds of favor is she asking? And is there a difference in your and her financial status, is she buying stuff that she thinks you cannot afford and is being charitable?
My sister took this game to a whole new level. She brought a garbage bag full of cheap stuffed animals for my 2 year old daughter and announced we should be so thankful and this big bag was all of the gifts for Birthdays and Christmas for my daughters whole childhood. Really sick.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Yes, I probably should have taken my brother's approach from the start. Live and learn.

The favors are big and time consuming and things she can easily afford to hire out. We are in good shape financially and do not need anything from her.

Your story reminds me of my sister though. When each child was born I got a huge box of second hand clothes from ebay with stains and holes. We have second hand sales near us where you can get brand new beautiful baby clothes for a dollar or 2 each. Plus, we had enough unisex stuff from our son that we had a decent amount our daughter could wear.

She did treat us like we were somehow poor and would lecture us. We make a good living, but I am actually much better about saving and investing than she is so it was all so condescending and strange. Oh and she once bought me a huge mixer thing because I don't bake and she wanted me making her cupcakes every time she visits. I informed her I was not going to be turning into a cupcake baker and I gave it back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Yes, I probably should have taken my brother's approach from the start. Live and learn.

The favors are big and time consuming and things she can easily afford to hire out. We are in good shape financially and do not need anything from her.

Your story reminds me of my sister though. When each child was born I got a huge box of second hand clothes from ebay with stains and holes. We have second hand sales near us where you can get brand new beautiful baby clothes for a dollar or 2 each. Plus, we had enough unisex stuff from our son that we had a decent amount our daughter could wear.

She did treat us like we were somehow poor and would lecture us. We make a good living, but I am actually much better about saving and investing than she is so it was all so condescending and strange. Oh and she once bought me a huge mixer thing because I don't bake and she wanted me making her cupcakes every time she visits. I informed her I was not going to be turning into a cupcake baker and I gave it back.

Oh and to be clear, she would visit our parents. We are not close, so I did not have her stay here. I got yelled at for giving back the mixer because my mom had to be the one to donate it.Anything she does I was somehow the villain. It is nice to no longer be involved with her. I thought my brother's approach was harsh back in the day, but I so clearly see it was what I should have done all along. I am glad my daughter is learning from this and hopefully it will help her have strong boundaries in general. My daughter is totally done with her.

[Anonymous]

Pp again. I try not to lose my temper by reminding myself my sister is probably jealous that I have a child and she does not. It’s kind of funny/sad when she makes a huge deal of her dogs’ needs and gets our mother involved by sharing the dogs care (dog stays with the person not traveling). I give my sister Mothers Day cards from her dogs.

[Anonymous]

Your sister sent your daughter a gift then asked your daughter for the favor? Or asked you for the favor?

Also did your daughter like the gift?

[Anonymous]

No but I have a strange sister and when I have to see her at something for family and I say hello she gets mad at me for speaking to her. She’s a toxic high-risk conflict personality disorder person. She does not even deserve to be called a person.