Respite for 18 year old?

[Anonymous]

My DS will age out of Jill’s House this summer. We’re looking for ideas. One was to find someone newly retired looking to make bank 1 weekend a quarter. Has any done anything like this? I’m thinking there must be a single, older woman out there who would love to have a highly entertaining teenager around once in a while. Our DD is fully functioning, toileting and self care. She just needs help w/ meals and companionship.

Anyway, would love to hear from other parents who have kiddos who have aged out of services.

[Anonymous]

What services are you looking for? Is the 18 year old verbal and non-violent? What’s the longer term plan? Does she work?

[Anonymous]

Verbal, non violent, seizures that are currently uncontrolled. She’s delayed due to brain injury. Can be impulsive. Will try working this summer.

Not sure of long term. Next 5 years she will live home with parents then we hope she will live group home.

[Anonymous]

Is she involved with vocational rehabilitation? I don't know if that provides respite directly, but a friend's 20yo dd gets some really good help from them.

[Anonymous]

Try homewellcares or visiting angels. They serve mainly elderly but I think would work with you. My DH works for Homewell and could do what you need. Could also try posting on Care.com.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thank you to the above posters!

[Anonymous]

I would keep her in public school until 22 to focus on job skills and other life skills.

[Anonymous]

Yes, she’s attended a special needs school but we all felt her working this summer better than ESY.

What we’re looking for is respite for parents. She aged out of a weekend away so we need to find something to give a a break a few times a year. We are very fortunate to be able to pay for this. I know that is not the case for most people.

[Anonymous]

She IS attending! Until age 22.

[Anonymous]

Hi OP - At age 18 I would focus on finding a peer in a college student possibly home for the summer or one going to school in your area. There are always young college/recent grads perhaps in grad school or teaching in the DMV on Care.com and similar sites. Finding the first student is often the hardest step as after that, it is likely a student will have friends or that are looking for a similar part-time opportunity. Now if you truly want an overnight once a month that, too, might be best to state in a listing on a sitter site.

I have been hiring college students for several years from the same university and have never had a bad experience. I would also say a community college student could be a good peer companion, too. I think DD would feel much more comfortable with someone in their 20s and not feel like she had a sitter. I usually can find a student for the academic year and then find one for the summer. Now our daughter works part-time and volunteers so her schedule is not that of a student. Still I think if you could be flexible on the day of a weekend you could find a student and perhaps your daughter would like a couple of hours out each weekend. You could start to find such a student by a listing on a church bulletin board, a listing on a neighborhood list.serve, asking neighbors if they now of such a person. The focus could be to recruit one who in in the fields of special education, speech therapy, pre PT- OT or nursing, pre-med etc. Working with your daughter will give them experience. I always indicate that I will be quite willing to serve as a reference - after getting to know them for say at least six months in doing things with our DD, and I think it is a positive.

On campus such groups to try to find an contact at might be a college faith young adult group, a service group such as APO, a list.serve or facebook group of any kinds of students listed above, a sorority etc. Over the years, I have used them all. My "only rue" is strictly no use of the cell phone while driving! I currently advertise that the hourly rate is $18/hour and any activity will be covered like paying for movie, bowing or a meal out (usually lunch at times). I also give money for gas, too.