any other lgbtq people find groups of straight couples a bit odd?

[Anonymous]

Like when we're at a neighborhood party, why do the men cluster and talk about beer and sports, and the women cluster and talk about kids? It's a different dynamic (with less obvious gender conformity) when it's not a large group/ party, but the party setting seems to really play up gender dynamics? And in parties guys dominate mixed gender conversations. Anyone else notice something similar? We're in a pretty liberal area.

[Anonymous]

I’m straight and I think it’s weird. The women’s conversations are often far more dull than the men’s conversations. The segregation is odd.

[Anonymous]

I do not find it odd at all. It is what they have in common so they discuss it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Like when we're at a neighborhood party, why do the men cluster and talk about beer and sports, and the women cluster and talk about kids? It's a different dynamic (with less obvious gender conformity) when it's not a large group/ party, but the party setting seems to really play up gender dynamics? And in parties guys dominate mixed gender conversations. Anyone else notice something similar? We're in a pretty liberal area.

Bad try at trolling. Amateur to the max. Men rarely talk about beer. Ever.
Sports maybe especially the politics of their children's travel sports.
Getting together with mutual friends & update of what everyone is up to is a subject.
Or.occasionally golf or golf trips.
Women talk about kids, but more about schools or planned activities and family vacations.
Try harder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do not find it odd at all. It is what they have in common so they discuss it.

+1
I think it’s odd that OP finds it odd. It’s been this way since the dawn of time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Like when we're at a neighborhood party, why do the men cluster and talk about beer and sports, and the women cluster and talk about kids? It's a different dynamic (with less obvious gender conformity) when it's not a large group/ party, but the party setting seems to really play up gender dynamics? And in parties guys dominate mixed gender conversations. Anyone else notice something similar? We're in a pretty liberal area.

For real. Men tend to cluster in the living room and talk about sports as a social lubricant. If you don't care about sports and you're living as a man (me before transition), good luck with that. It's so boring and there's inevitably a game on TV. I don't even know who was in the Super Bowl this year. I didn't watch it and I don't care. Good luck talking to men (as a man) in this situation.

Women tend to cluster in the kitchen and talk about kids which is at least more real than some ethereal discussion about a game that no one will remember next year. That being said, when the friendship is all about the kids, it looks like a solid relationship on the surface but there's nothing under it. These types of friendships are like coconuts. When you get past the strong surface, there's a hole in the middle because the adults don't have much in common themselves.

We only have so many days on this planet and I have very little interest in spending what little time I have on relationships built like sand castles at low tide. Obviously if I need to do something with the parent's of other kids due to some activity then I will do so but I prefer to spend my time making and maintaining relationships with real friends where we have actual things in common that aren't sports or kid's ballet or whatever. A lot of straight people aren't good at maintaining friendships. Friendships require prioritizing your time on them. We (queer people) have no choice but to prioritize our friends. We cannot afford to burn bridges even if we don't really mesh well with other people. For many of us, our chosen family is our family. A lot of straight people just suck to be honest. Obviously not all, YOU dear reader, are one of the good ones. I think the fact that a lot of them have stable families that will be there for them no matter what means that their relationships outside of the family are just weaker. This is more of a general social commentary that goes far beyond the straight gatherings. Don't even get me started about being the token queer person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:since the dawn of time.

Indeed. Oh, those neanderthal house parties-- all the cavemen talking about hunting the mammoth while women spent their time experimenting with fire and finding berries!

[Anonymous]

I don't notice this among my friend group, but I do at family gatherings with the ILs. The men all go out and smoke cigars while the women are inside with the kids.

[Anonymous]

Yes, it's weird. I'm a heterosexual woman. I want to talk politics and current events, but not sports. With our own close friends, we all talk together, or group each other regardless of gender. But at parties where we don't know other people well, like a neighborhood block party, I notice the men congregate together and the women congregate together.

[Anonymous]

Gay man here. I agree that this is normal with straight couples, but it is non existent in literally all of my friend groups. I don’t know why.

[Anonymous]

Straight woman here, this segregation bothers me, too. I actually don't want to talk about sports or politics or kids. I want to talk about music, theatre, pop culture, food, or gossip about people I know with people I trust. I would definitely talk about beer or wine, new restaurants, travel, etc.

[Anonymous]

Straight man, and I don't really get it. I mostly hang out with women talking about kids in these situations.

[Anonymous]

Straight woman here. I went to a party with a bunch of lesbians recently and I was struck by how much time was spent talking about how everyone hates sports. Go figure.

[Anonymous]

Do you all have kids? I feel like a lot of parents do this stuff but not retirees or singles. It's partly because with kids and other family you really don't have time to have more than a couple of friends and a party would more likely involve acquaintances.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m straight and I think it’s weird. The women’s conversations are often far more dull than the men’s conversations. The segregation is odd.

+1 from a straight lady