For a very empathetic, high EQ person, is a “caring” career too draining?

[Anonymous]

My DD is very empathetic, good with lots of types of people and stays calm under pressure. I thought that would mean a job that involves high emotions and the need for reading people would be perfect for her. BUT she thinks those jobs (like a therapist or hospice nurse) would be the worst for her because they would be so emotionally draining.

Does being an empath mean you’ll get worn down and burned out?

[Anonymous]

No you have to learn to patrol your boundaries. One of which involves monetizing your empathy.

[Anonymous]

I think jobs like hospice nurse can burn a lot of people out. It's not like helping people and their families through dying is easy for people who just aren't very emotional or something. Like I'm not even sure who you envision wouldn't be affected.

I don't believe in empaths but I think that being empathetic and high EQ will help people in the vast majority of careers, for advancement and growth. Whether to go into a career where you do that through direct service provision is more a matter of what you feel called to do, I think; being good at something doesn't mean you enjoy it or that you'll be rewarded well for it, and your DD may have other interests or skills that she might want to emphasize in a career instead.

[Anonymous]

I found teaching extremely draining. I'm now a non-profit fundraiser-I use my people skills and support and amazing mission but I don't get home feeling depleted from caring too much.

[Anonymous]

Those jobs can (and often are) draining for everyone, op.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Those jobs can (and often are) draining for everyone, op.

Yep. I'm a nurse and an empathic, highly sensitive person. While being more tuned in to patient and staff's emotions can be draining sometimes the main issues for me are being overworked and introverted. I find hospital nursing exhausting and plan on looking for something lower intensity soon.

[Anonymous]

I am a teacher and I come home each night carrying the emotions of the kids in my class. My colleagues who seem more robotic and unemotional actually seem to get less burned out and last longer in the field.

[Anonymous]

It just means you need to compartmentalize. And yes, there are careers where trauma and burnout are par for the course. The investigators and social workers in child abuse cases, for example.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a teacher and I come home each night carrying the emotions of the kids in my class. My colleagues who seem more robotic and unemotional actually seem to get less burned out and last longer in the field.

omg this. I felt like I cared more than the parents sometimes, I would worry so much over every little thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a teacher and I come home each night carrying the emotions of the kids in my class. My colleagues who seem more robotic and unemotional actually seem to get less burned out and last longer in the field.

omg this. I felt like I cared more than the parents sometimes, I would worry so much over every little thing.

But now I'm not a teacher and a mom and just the other day my girls cut tree branches off of a tree we have in the backyard and were sword fighting and I didn't blink an eye. lol

[Anonymous]

It can be wonderfully rewarding if you learn to recognize the signs of burnout early on and change jobs when your mental health is affected. Source: My mom is a lifer in pediatric nursing

[Anonymous]

I agree with your DD, and I would go further to say that in jobs like therapist or nurse, your empathy and emotional insight can get in the way of your actual training and professionalism. You may see clearly what people need, but that doesn't mean it's appropriate to tell them.

I would encourage her to look for a career she is interested in, and which supports the kind of life she wants (e.g., she should consider her appetite for travel, a particular location, money vs hours tradeoff). Her high EQ will help her succeed in whatever that is.