ADHD social skill deficits

[Anonymous]

Honestly, I’m not sure if this is social skills or immaturity. But, my 11 year old ds with ADHD is so socially behind. He talk incessantly, but he does baby talk and weird voices, tells total non-sequiter jokes. Other kids constantly call him “weird” and he struggles with friendships a lot. He had a lot of friends when he was younger, but his quirkiness and maturity gaps are becoming more apparent with age. Obviously, I correct him if he does or says something unkind. But, he’s mostly a nice kid. His biggest problems are with unusual and immature social behavior. I don’t correct that because I don’t want him to feel bad about being who he is. How do I help him with this without making him feel bad?

[Anonymous]

It's both. He needs social skills coaching, and you can work with him. Rather than constantly criticizing him, you can talk about different social situations and how they are managed. Tell him little stories from your life, or in the context of books or TV shows he likes. Praise him for small things done well.

[Anonymous]

My ADHD-I child is a few years older than yours so BTDT. For us the key was a combination of gentle coaching and also medication to address the ADHD impulsiveness. The coaching and social skills classes only go so far. He's smart and in a class or conversation, could always explain the "right" behavior or choice. However, until the impulsiveness was controlled via medication, we were setting him up to fail. Once on the medication, he had time to think before saying/doing and is now less likely to turn people off. In hindsight, we regret having resisted medication for so long. He's more successful socially now.