I had a 8th grader freaking out because she has an A-...

[Anonymous]

because she has a 90% for the 4th Period.....Why do parents have so high expectations? SHE Can't do Extra credit, A- is a good grade, and they will most likely pass the class with A...
Marking period just started so don't asked for extra credit when you have 90%.......

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:because she has a 90% for the 4th Period.....Why do parents have so high expectations? SHE Can't do Extra credit, A- is a good grade, and they will most likely pass the class with A...
Marking period just started so don't asked for extra credit when you have 90%.......

Are you sure it's the parents? My DD used to freak out about her grades and it was 100% from her. I did not pressure her about her grades.

[Anonymous]

It might not be the parents. My kid is a perfectionist. I don't know where he got it. I often encourage him to skip things or do "just enough" but it's not his personality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It might not be the parents. My kid is a perfectionist. I don't know where he got it. I often encourage him to skip things or do "just enough" but it's not his personality.

You could be right, but they should tell her that her grades are still great.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It might not be the parents. My kid is a perfectionist. I don't know where he got it. I often encourage him to skip things or do "just enough" but it's not his personality.

You could be right, but they should tell her that her grades are still great.

They might not know she's doing it.

Some kids advocate for themselves. You reassure her and tell her no extra credit needed right now.

I also have a kid who is wired this way and we do tell him his grades are great and if he tells of a bad grade we never make a big deal out of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It might not be the parents. My kid is a perfectionist. I don't know where he got it. I often encourage him to skip things or do "just enough" but it's not his personality.

You could be right, but they should tell her that her grades are still great.

In the case of my kid it wouldn't be enough. Anything less than 100 is bad to him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It might not be the parents. My kid is a perfectionist. I don't know where he got it. I often encourage him to skip things or do "just enough" but it's not his personality.

You could be right, but they should tell her that her grades are still great.

I tell my perfectionist that all the time. She's internally motivated and doesn't really believe me. I can only push her into activities that she finds relaxing (i.e. art, music, and recreational sports) and hope she finds a balance in life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:because she has a 90% for the 4th Period.....Why do parents have so high expectations? SHE Can't do Extra credit, A- is a good grade, and they will most likely pass the class with A...
Marking period just started so don't asked for extra credit when you have 90%.......

How are you a teacher and have such little understanding of kids? I have a kid like this and one who is not like this. Do you think I have different expectations for them that created this mindset? Newsflash - I don't. It's called perfectionism and it's a real problem that creates a lot of stress. Have some compassion for your student and help them with this instead of just blaming the parents for how their kid is.

Jeez, OP, do you blame the parens for everything your students do? Maybe don't answer that...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:because she has a 90% for the 4th Period.....Why do parents have so high expectations? SHE Can't do Extra credit, A- is a good grade, and they will most likely pass the class with A...
Marking period just started so don't asked for extra credit when you have 90%.......

Are you sure it's the parents? My DD used to freak out about her grades and it was 100% from her. I did not pressure her about her grades.

Mine too. Peer pressure for sure

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It might not be the parents. My kid is a perfectionist. I don't know where he got it. I often encourage him to skip things or do "just enough" but it's not his personality.

I used to tell my perfectionist kid that 10 year from now, no job interview is going to worry about a B on a social studies test. She eventually internalized that but still strived for greatness (her definition) which was fine. To be honest, what really helped was pulling her out of the high pressure public (her choice) and moving her to a private people would think was college entry suicide here. She still got into a great college, did well and is excelling at her job. She’s channeled a lot of her perfectionism into martial arts, where they temper that streak.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It might not be the parents. My kid is a perfectionist. I don't know where he got it. I often encourage him to skip things or do "just enough" but it's not his personality.

I used to tell my perfectionist kid that 10 year from now, no job interview is going to worry about a B on a social studies test. She eventually internalized that but still strived for greatness (her definition) which was fine. To be honest, what really helped was pulling her out of the high pressure public (her choice) and moving her to a private people would think was college entry suicide here. She still got into a great college, did well and is excelling at her job. She’s channeled a lot of her perfectionism into martial arts, where they temper that streak.

Thanks for that, we’re not in private but a fairly intense school. My 11 year is already shooting for TJ and MIT and I have no idea how he even got them in his head.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:because she has a 90% for the 4th Period.....Why do parents have so high expectations? SHE Can't do Extra credit, A- is a good grade, and they will most likely pass the class with A...
Marking period just started so don't asked for extra credit when you have 90%.......

Are you sure it's the parents? My DD used to freak out about her grades and it was 100% from her. I did not pressure her about her grades.

+1. Also have a kid like this in spite of anything we say.

Genes are weird.

[Anonymous]

Does she want you to intervene and call the teacher to tell them to look at her grade again, maybe she should get an A?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does she want you to intervene and call the teacher to tell them to look at her grade again, maybe she should get an A?

I think OP is the teacher

[Anonymous]

Perhaps it is a class that will appear on the high school transcript, and this is already lowering GPA and perhaps knocking the kid out of their preferred college.