When MIL asks about toys she’s given our kids?

[Anonymous]

Years ago MIL bought our twins matching smaller Powerwheels-type cars/bikes. They are technically still small enough to ride them if they really wanted to but they have no interest anymore. We were cleaning out our garage this weekend and discussed with them how they didn’t ride them at all last summer, they are taking up a lot of space, and they told us they didn’t want them anymore. I was planning on loading them in my car and taking them to the resale store and buying them some new outdoor stuff with the money. But then on Sunday MIL a was over visiting and asked the boys about them, and if they still use them. Caught off guard I casually said we hadn’t cleaned them off for summer yet. What is the best course of action if she asks about them again since they will be gone?

(We ARE selling them. MIL lives in a small apartment and can’t store them. The boys are embarrassed to ride them. They are going. Just covering bases.)

[Anonymous]

Next time she asks say the boys' interests are changing and now they're into X, Y, Z. You've had the toys for years. Kids outgrow stuff. Maybe redirect her to something else they'd like?

[Anonymous]

You whiffed your chance to lay your ground work!

"Oh I think they've gotten tired of them, sadly. But they really had so much fun with riding in them a year ago!"

That was the first mention. Then you sell them, and when she asks you say "oh they weren't interested in using them anymore, so we gave them to a dear friend (LIE) whose kids are loving them!"

Do not tell her you sold them. Tell your DH.

[Anonymous]

Why don't you tell your MIL the truth. You don't mention that she has past history of unreasonable behavior...so use the truth. You don't have to make it mean, or complain about space.

"Oh gosh, they really loved those cars last summer, but alas, I think they have outgrown them. My goodness these kids grow fast."

[Anonymous]

Just be honest. "They've grown out of them. They're up to ________ now."

[Anonymous]

"They have outgrown them". No need to be more specific.

[Anonymous]

Why weren't you just honest in the first place? When she asks again just tell her the truth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you tell your MIL the truth. You don't mention that she has past history of unreasonable behavior...so use the truth. You don't have to make it mean, or complain about space.

"Oh gosh, they really loved those cars last summer, but alas, I think they have outgrown them. My goodness these kids grow fast."

+1

[Anonymous]

I usually feign ignorance and redirect to my DH, as in “hmm whatever did happen to item x? Larlo, do you remember?”

[Anonymous]

Tell her you took them out and discovered the kids are just too big for them now. Tiny white lie that a neighbor has offered to buy them so win/win - you can buy your kids some new outdoor toys for this summer and some little kids will be enjoying the powerwheels just as much as your kids did.

[Anonymous]

The boys LOVED those toys when they were younger. They were a really great idea. Now they are more into X. Kids!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you tell your MIL the truth. You don't mention that she has past history of unreasonable behavior...so use the truth. You don't have to make it mean, or complain about space.

"Oh gosh, they really loved those cars last summer, but alas, I think they have outgrown them. My goodness these kids grow fast."

+1

+2 This is the perfect answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you tell your MIL the truth. You don't mention that she has past history of unreasonable behavior...so use the truth. You don't have to make it mean, or complain about space.

"Oh gosh, they really loved those cars last summer, but alas, I think they have outgrown them. My goodness these kids grow fast."

+1

+2 This is the perfect answer.

+3 And thank her for the gift, letting her know how thoughtful she was.

[Anonymous]

I have family members for whom thank you is not enough. I am very appreciative, but won't get into the whole obsessive dance of needing frequent updates on a gift. I would just shut it down with "They really enjoyed the gifts. Now they have outgrown it, so we donated the gifts so others can enjoy them as much as our kids did."

If the person starts obsessing and needs lots details and reassurance I change the subject or make an excuse to go do something else. When you give a gift you have to give and let it go and if your needs go beyond hearing "thank you" spell it out so the person has an option to decline. (That goes big time for anyone who gives money and doesn't make it clear there are years and years of strings. Put it in writing so i can politely decline.)

[Anonymous]

It doesn't sound like she's pouting about an old toy they no longer use. It seems more like she's trying to see what they're interested in these days, perhaps looking for future gift ideas. Nobody expects kids to use toys below their age level, and these toys don't get better with age. There's no embarrassment in telling her that you're trading them for new equipment. By all means, get some value out of them so they can be passed on to kids who will enjoy them.