Back in the office for a big meeting and don’t know what to wear

[Anonymous]

I am going back to the office for a 2 day event (retreat) in June and don’t know what to wear. My office attire before COVID ranged from suits to very business casual. I transitioned to telework during COVID and had a baby so my professional wardrobe hasn’t been updated since 2019 and I have no idea what’s fashionable now. I need to dress for a meeting and business dinner with coworkers, then an all day event. I don’t like to wear suits in June because they get so hot. Any ideas?

[Anonymous]

Is the retreat at the office?
I find dresses more adaptable to temperature/formality. You can get a sleeveless dress with a cardigan and/or a jacket.
June in DC can be hot, but you could also do tailored cotton pants and a light blouse/shirt -- also with a cardigan or jacket depending on your comfort level.
Not that these brands are particularly fashionable -- but nobody at the office knows what to wear anymore, these are versatile basics:
https://www.anntaylor.com/clothing/dresses/cata000012/602835.html
https://www.anntaylor.com/608067.html
https://mmlafleur.com/products/estela-night

https://mmlafleur.com/products/merritt-jardigan-latte
https://www.anntaylor.com/clothing/pants/cata000014/587418.html
https://www.anntaylor.com/clothing/tops-and-blouses/cata000010/607049.html
https://www.anntaylor.com/clothing/sweaters/cata000011/592588.html
https://mmlafleur.com/products/janette-electric-blue

[Anonymous]

Literally the same stuff as in 2019.

[Anonymous]

These posts (and there are many) make me laugh. It's like you have been on another planet. I don't mean to be snacky and agree with wearing dresses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These posts (and there are many) make me laugh. It's like you have been on another planet. I don't mean to be snacky and agree with wearing dresses.

I feel for OP. I was in the same boat up until recently. The only place I went to during the pandemic was the gym, so I accumulated lots of gym clothes but did not buy one item of regular, let alone office clothing. I was never really into fashion either so my pre-pandemic selection was pretty sad. Then we were asked to come back to the office plus I got promoted, so I really had to fix the issue. I basically did so by hitting Club Monaco, J.Crew, Cos, Ann Taylor, and Roman. No high fashion but I feel somewhat presentable again and I got some sense of what people wear now. And yes, it did feel like coming to a different planet on which skinny jeans, flowy patterned tops and ballet flats have no place anymore. In terms of specific recommendations, I agree with dresses, but there are also lighter more comfortable suits around now. I have been wearing a linen suit in this super hot weather that hit us recently and found it very comfortable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These posts (and there are many) make me laugh. It's like you have been on another planet. I don't mean to be snacky and agree with wearing dresses.

I feel for OP. I was in the same boat up until recently. The only place I went to during the pandemic was the gym, so I accumulated lots of gym clothes but did not buy one item of regular, let alone office clothing. I was never really into fashion either so my pre-pandemic selection was pretty sad. Then we were asked to come back to the office plus I got promoted, so I really had to fix the issue. I basically did so by hitting Club Monaco, J.Crew, Cos, Ann Taylor, and Roman. No high fashion but I feel somewhat presentable again and I got some sense of what people wear now. And yes, it did feel like coming to a different planet on which skinny jeans, flowy patterned tops and ballet flats have no place anymore. In terms of specific recommendations, I agree with dresses, but there are also lighter more comfortable suits around now. I have been wearing a linen suit in this super hot weather that hit us recently and found it very comfortable.

Wait what, no ballet flats? What instead, I’ve been wearing them for like 10
Years!

[Anonymous]

This was me at this time last year - I got two Ann Taylor dresses similar but not quite the same as this one:
https://www.anntaylor.com/clothing/suits/cata000013/603688.html?priceSort=DES

They're basic enough that I can accessorize them differently and it's not obvious that I wear them as much as I do now that I'm back in the office a little more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This was me at this time last year - I got two Ann Taylor dresses similar but not quite the same as this one:
https://www.anntaylor.com/clothing/suits/cata000013/603688.html?priceSort=DES

They're basic enough that I can accessorize them differently and it's not obvious that I wear them as much as I do now that I'm back in the office a little more.

Me again - it was actually this dress - https://www.anntaylor.com/clothing/suits/cata000013/592823.html?priceSort=DES

I got it in navy and black

[Anonymous]

Thanks. OP here. A big part of the problem is that most of the investments I made into my work wardrobe were before I had my two kids and then I was a size 2 and a runner. I had time back then to train for races and work out an hour a day. Now I’m two kids later, have pretty bad urinary incontinence when I run so I can’t do that anymore, and I’m 15 pounds heavier and a size 6/8 depending on the brand. I also have a pretty big diastasis recti from my two big babies so all my bodycon dresses and other tight tops and clothes look terrible, and none of my old suits fit anymore. Exercise for me is now more like bike rides, daily walks, light weights, and I’m ok with that. For a long time I have been holding onto my old clothes thinking I was gonna get back to a size 2, but I have come to the realization that it’s just not going to ever happen. I’ve done lots of physical therapy and stuff but my tummy and pelvic floor are just not going back to what they were before kids. So looking at my closet, it’s just full of a bunch of things that no longer work for me or fit. But I spent SO much money and years building that work wardrobe it hurts me to know I am going to have to donate most of it and start from scratch again with new styles I don’t even like or know about (because it’s just been survival mode with two little kids for the past few years).

[Anonymous]

I would wear a casual linen suit in an interesting color:
https://www.cos.com/en_usd/women/womenswear/trousers/product.wide-leg-pleated-linen-blend-pants-purple.1152451002.html

Or wide legged pants and a modern twinset: https://www.kule.com/products/the-sailor-navy-cream

Or a matching set: https://www.bergdorfgoodman.com/p/theory-high-waist-wide-leg-pants-prod178760101?childItemId=BGT4M0B_&navpath=cat000000_cat000002_cat619800_cat568808&page=0&position=3&uuid=PDP_PAGINATION_270128860d75b64fd92fe8bc7c569e69_1cao7wHFw8NbuZQVGddVRMmYf-IlwHzDFcy_UFWj.jsession

https://www.bergdorfgoodman.com/p/theory-cotton-blend-camp-shirt-prod178770268?childItemId=BGT4M0F_&navpath=cat000000_cat000001_cat20079&page=0&position=6&uuid=PDP_PAGINATION_de531f606dedfead4dfc81edfa6094b8_1cao7wHFw8NbuZQVGddVRMmYf-IlwHzDFcy_UFWj.jsession


If those skew too casual, then wear nice black pants, a washable silk shirt with an interesting feature, and loafers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks. OP here. A big part of the problem is that most of the investments I made into my work wardrobe were before I had my two kids and then I was a size 2 and a runner. I had time back then to train for races and work out an hour a day. Now I’m two kids later, have pretty bad urinary incontinence when I run so I can’t do that anymore, and I’m 15 pounds heavier and a size 6/8 depending on the brand. I also have a pretty big diastasis recti from my two big babies so all my bodycon dresses and other tight tops and clothes look terrible, and none of my old suits fit anymore. Exercise for me is now more like bike rides, daily walks, light weights, and I’m ok with that. For a long time I have been holding onto my old clothes thinking I was gonna get back to a size 2, but I have come to the realization that it’s just not going to ever happen. I’ve done lots of physical therapy and stuff but my tummy and pelvic floor are just not going back to what they were before kids. So looking at my closet, it’s just full of a bunch of things that no longer work for me or fit. But I spent SO much money and years building that work wardrobe it hurts me to know I am going to have to donate most of it and start from scratch again with new styles I don’t even like or know about (because it’s just been survival mode with two little kids for the past few years).

I have no clothing advice but wanted to offer support and encouragement. It's okay to let go of the expensive size 2 clothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks. OP here. A big part of the problem is that most of the investments I made into my work wardrobe were before I had my two kids and then I was a size 2 and a runner. I had time back then to train for races and work out an hour a day. Now I’m two kids later, have pretty bad urinary incontinence when I run so I can’t do that anymore, and I’m 15 pounds heavier and a size 6/8 depending on the brand. I also have a pretty big diastasis recti from my two big babies so all my bodycon dresses and other tight tops and clothes look terrible, and none of my old suits fit anymore. Exercise for me is now more like bike rides, daily walks, light weights, and I’m ok with that. For a long time I have been holding onto my old clothes thinking I was gonna get back to a size 2, but I have come to the realization that it’s just not going to ever happen. I’ve done lots of physical therapy and stuff but my tummy and pelvic floor are just not going back to what they were before kids. So looking at my closet, it’s just full of a bunch of things that no longer work for me or fit. But I spent SO much money and years building that work wardrobe it hurts me to know I am going to have to donate most of it and start from scratch again with new styles I don’t even like or know about (because it’s just been survival mode with two little kids for the past few years).

I have no clothing advice but wanted to offer support and encouragement. It's okay to let go of the expensive size 2 clothing.

+1. Also, if it is any consolation.... regardless of whether you put on 15 lbs or not, I think it's really common to have to give up the pre-baby work wardrobe. After DS was born, I changed jobs and worked from home for 2 years before going back to an office. I was actually at my pre-baby weight, and STILL in my situation, my pre-baby work stuff just didn't fit right anymore. My body had changed shape, and work clothes are intended to be more tailored - so were less forgiving on this front than, say, jeans and tees and sweaters. Blazers were too taut across my back because I guess my whole rib cage and shoulder span had changed size? Just to name a few issues.... Plus, at that point my pre-maternity clothes had been sitting unused on hangers for 3 years (1 year of pregnancy, and 2 years of work from home), and even after I took them to be dry cleaned, everything felt old, creased, and hanger-stretched. Add to that that it meant that the NEWEST clothes in my work wardrobe were probably 4 years old (because I didn't buy much in the year when I was trying to get pregnant), and most of the stuff was 5-7 years old.... they were also becoming more noticeably out of fashion. Blazer styles had changed, as had pant leg silhouettes.

Point of all this is that even if you did fit lose the last 15 lbs, there's a good chance that your clothes still wouldn't fit right, and even if they did, they wouldn't make you feel good about yourself. So don't sweat needing to buy some new stuff.

[Anonymous]

I’ve been wearing basics: pants that flatter my body (straight slim leg, right above my ankle bone), a basic “nice” tee or button down blouse, and a jacket or structured cardigan (depending on the formality). Or a sheath dress with the jacket or cardigan. I wear flats—usually pointy toe or loafers, but sometimes a basic ballet flat. I make sure I style my hair and makeup, and wear jewelry. For me, that makes me feel “dressed” (probably because I had air-dried hair in a messy bun, chapstick and no jewelry for most of covid).

Clearly I am not walking the runway, but it’s appropriate and gets the job done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks. OP here. A big part of the problem is that most of the investments I made into my work wardrobe were before I had my two kids and then I was a size 2 and a runner. I had time back then to train for races and work out an hour a day. Now I’m two kids later, have pretty bad urinary incontinence when I run so I can’t do that anymore, and I’m 15 pounds heavier and a size 6/8 depending on the brand. I also have a pretty big diastasis recti from my two big babies so all my bodycon dresses and other tight tops and clothes look terrible, and none of my old suits fit anymore. Exercise for me is now more like bike rides, daily walks, light weights, and I’m ok with that. For a long time I have been holding onto my old clothes thinking I was gonna get back to a size 2, but I have come to the realization that it’s just not going to ever happen. I’ve done lots of physical therapy and stuff but my tummy and pelvic floor are just not going back to what they were before kids. So looking at my closet, it’s just full of a bunch of things that no longer work for me or fit. But I spent SO much money and years building that work wardrobe it hurts me to know I am going to have to donate most of it and start from scratch again with new styles I don’t even like or know about (because it’s just been survival mode with two little kids for the past few years).

I have no clothing advice but wanted to offer support and encouragement. It's okay to let go of the expensive size 2 clothing.

+1. Also, if it is any consolation.... regardless of whether you put on 15 lbs or not, I think it's really common to have to give up the pre-baby work wardrobe. After DS was born, I changed jobs and worked from home for 2 years before going back to an office. I was actually at my pre-baby weight, and STILL in my situation, my pre-baby work stuff just didn't fit right anymore. My body had changed shape, and work clothes are intended to be more tailored - so were less forgiving on this front than, say, jeans and tees and sweaters. Blazers were too taut across my back because I guess my whole rib cage and shoulder span had changed size? Just to name a few issues.... Plus, at that point my pre-maternity clothes had been sitting unused on hangers for 3 years (1 year of pregnancy, and 2 years of work from home), and even after I took them to be dry cleaned, everything felt old, creased, and hanger-stretched. Add to that that it meant that the NEWEST clothes in my work wardrobe were probably 4 years old (because I didn't buy much in the year when I was trying to get pregnant), and most of the stuff was 5-7 years old.... they were also becoming more noticeably out of fashion. Blazer styles had changed, as had pant leg silhouettes.

Point of all this is that even if you did fit lose the last 15 lbs, there's a good chance that your clothes still wouldn't fit right, and even if they did, they wouldn't make you feel good about yourself. So don't sweat needing to buy some new stuff.

+1. The same hormonal changes during pregnancy that made your foot size increase also expanded your hips. In fact that was the point of the hormone changes, so the baby could get out, and your (my, at least) shoes were just incidental casualties.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks. OP here. A big part of the problem is that most of the investments I made into my work wardrobe were before I had my two kids and then I was a size 2 and a runner. I had time back then to train for races and work out an hour a day. Now I’m two kids later, have pretty bad urinary incontinence when I run so I can’t do that anymore, and I’m 15 pounds heavier and a size 6/8 depending on the brand. I also have a pretty big diastasis recti from my two big babies so all my bodycon dresses and other tight tops and clothes look terrible, and none of my old suits fit anymore. Exercise for me is now more like bike rides, daily walks, light weights, and I’m ok with that. For a long time I have been holding onto my old clothes thinking I was gonna get back to a size 2, but I have come to the realization that it’s just not going to ever happen. I’ve done lots of physical therapy and stuff but my tummy and pelvic floor are just not going back to what they were before kids. So looking at my closet, it’s just full of a bunch of things that no longer work for me or fit. But I spent SO much money and years building that work wardrobe it hurts me to know I am going to have to donate most of it and start from scratch again with new styles I don’t even like or know about (because it’s just been survival mode with two little kids for the past few years).

I have no clothing advice but wanted to offer support and encouragement. It's okay to let go of the expensive size 2 clothing.

+1. Also, if it is any consolation.... regardless of whether you put on 15 lbs or not, I think it's really common to have to give up the pre-baby work wardrobe. After DS was born, I changed jobs and worked from home for 2 years before going back to an office. I was actually at my pre-baby weight, and STILL in my situation, my pre-baby work stuff just didn't fit right anymore. My body had changed shape, and work clothes are intended to be more tailored - so were less forgiving on this front than, say, jeans and tees and sweaters. Blazers were too taut across my back because I guess my whole rib cage and shoulder span had changed size? Just to name a few issues.... Plus, at that point my pre-maternity clothes had been sitting unused on hangers for 3 years (1 year of pregnancy, and 2 years of work from home), and even after I took them to be dry cleaned, everything felt old, creased, and hanger-stretched. Add to that that it meant that the NEWEST clothes in my work wardrobe were probably 4 years old (because I didn't buy much in the year when I was trying to get pregnant), and most of the stuff was 5-7 years old.... they were also becoming more noticeably out of fashion. Blazer styles had changed, as had pant leg silhouettes.

Point of all this is that even if you did fit lose the last 15 lbs, there's a good chance that your clothes still wouldn't fit right, and even if they did, they wouldn't make you feel good about yourself. So don't sweat needing to buy some new stuff.

+1. The same hormonal changes during pregnancy that made your foot size increase also expanded your hips. In fact that was the point of the hormone changes, so the baby could get out, and your (my, at least) shoes were just incidental casualties.

This too. I had to get all new shoes. i also had to get all new bras. And this was while weighing the same or less than i did before having a baby.