Can’t wrap my mind around how expensive weddings are

Anonymous
Partner and I make 350k and both think it’s insane how the average wedding costs 30-50k. Why would any young person spend that much on a single day event when they could be putting that money towards a house? We’re thinking of just going to the courthouse and getting married. Even if I had parents offer to pay for it I would rather just have the money tbh
Anonymous
I know a UMC couple (IT consultant & Ivy-educated teacher) who had a courthouse wedding. Went to the courthouse then out to eat at a nice restaurant with their immediate families & a few friends. Just celebrated their 10th anniversary.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Partner and I make 350k and both think it’s insane how the average wedding costs 30-50k. Why would any young person spend that much on a single day event when they could be putting that money towards a house? We’re thinking of just going to the courthouse and getting married. Even if I had parents offer to pay for it I would rather just have the money tbh


Go for it! There was a thread here years ago about what people would have done differently if they had to do their wedding over. The overwhelming majority said that they would have scaled back on so much and not spent so much money. Less is more was the theme.

Anonymous
Yeah it’s ridiculous. DH and I had a courthouse wedding, small dinner with family after it and then in a few weeks had a small cocktail hour and dinner at our favorite restaurant with our closest friends.
Anonymous
Weddings are a colossal waste of money. Out of alllll of my friends' weddings, I barely remember only about 1 of them out of 20+ weddings. No one really remembers what they ate, what band you had, the venue, etc. 5-10 years later. Yet they trick couples into blowing tens of thousands of dollars on this stupid one day event. Court house, dinner with close family members and friends, donezo. You'll be much better off using that money instead for a down payment on a home. Also, thosuands on a diamond engagement ring is equally as stupid.

The entire wedding/marriage culture in the US is asinine. The are other countries too with nonsensical wedding traditions, but the US' is pretty stupid. Such a waste of money.
Anonymous
Weddings cost as much as you want them to cost. Depends a lot on the choice of venue and size of the guest list. My brother was married at the courthouse -- actually in a garden next to the courthouse -- with just immediate family present and then we all went out to a nice lunch in a private patio at a restaurant. It was a lovely day.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I know a UMC couple (IT consultant & Ivy-educated teacher) who had a courthouse wedding. Went to the courthouse then out to eat at a nice restaurant with their immediate families & a few friends. Just celebrated their 10th anniversary.


Same. We did a court house wedding. Celebrating our 10th year anniversary this year. Money spent on a wedding =\= happiness in.marriage. Two of my friends with weddings that probably cost over $40k+ are already divorced.
Anonymous
I think too many couples worry about what friends or family will think rather than having the kind of wedding they really want. DH and I did a church ceremony for 75-100 people followed by a reception in the church social hall with just cake, punch, and finger foods. No alcohol, no band/DJ, just recorded music. It was lovely, inexpensive, and exactly what we wanted. I’m sure some cousins who had lavish wedding extravaganzas probably thought we were cheap, but Phhhhhttt! We had a fabulous honeymoon and bought a house a year later.
Anonymous
I threw a very basic wedding and it still cost me $35k. Mainly because we have a lot of friends! And we wanted to throw a big party. I could have made maybe 3 different small upgrades that easily would have pushed up to $50k. Because each upgrade costs a "per person" price, so if your guest list is big, it's very expensive. We had 160 people.

I don't regret it at all. Our wedding was the one time both sides of our family were together, including extended family. My friends got to meet some of my family they wouldn't have otherwise. It was a community event in our lives.

Do I think everyone needs to do it this way? Absolutely not. My parents could afford to help without it being a hardship. I know plenty of others who didn't want the big fuss, didn't want to spend the money or just didn't want to burden family and did it other, much more low key, ways. All are valid and great.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I think too many couples worry about what friends or family will think rather than having the kind of wedding they really want. DH and I did a church ceremony for 75-100 people followed by a reception in the church social hall with just cake, punch, and finger foods. No alcohol, no band/DJ, just recorded music. It was lovely, inexpensive, and exactly what we wanted. I’m sure some cousins who had lavish wedding extravaganzas probably thought we were cheap, but Phhhhhttt! We had a fabulous honeymoon and bought a house a year later.


Part of why this gets pushed aside is because people travel for weddings now. If you are only inviting guests who live locally, I think a cake social celebration is terrific. But if I have family traveling 4,000 miles to come to my wedding, I did feel like I needed to provide a full meal, at a minimum. This is a big reason why weddings have exploded since the 90s.
Anonymous
We got married at our Church bit with just our parents and one friend each. Then had a party in a bar/restaurant for other friends and family that evening. My in-laws paid for the open bar and food. We did have a cake but it wasn’t a traditional wedding cake. No regrets.
Anonymous
My wedding was a chance for all of our friends and family members to gather together and have fun. My dad’s two sisters came over from Europe, and it ended up being the last time he saw one of them before she passed away. I treasure the pictures I have with people who saw me grow up and got to celebrate this milestone with me. When else would I have seen them at a happy occasion? The next time to gather would have been someone’s funeral. Weddings are an opportunity for a happy gathering. I wouldn’t begrudge anyone that.
Anonymous
It’s nice to be able to have the wedding you want. Whatever that may be.
Anonymous
Let’s normalize low key weddings. Isn’t there an inverse relationship to how much a wedding costs to the length of a marriage?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Partner and I make 350k and both think it’s insane how the average wedding costs 30-50k. Why would any young person spend that much on a single day event when they could be putting that money towards a house? We’re thinking of just going to the courthouse and getting married. Even if I had parents offer to pay for it I would rather just have the money tbh


Insane and irresponsible.
post reply Forum Index » Off-Topic
Message Quick Reply
Go to: