Are your friends with your kids’ friends parents?

[Anonymous]

I have two kids, ages 4 and 9, and while my kids have a ton of good friends at their schools (preschool and elementary), I am surprised that we have not become super close with any of their friends’ families. Growing up my brother and I were best friends with a pair of siblings our same ages/grades, and our parents became really close as well. We were two years apart and so were many other kids and their siblings, so it was really common I guess to have groups of friends like this. I have so many memories of weekend backyard get togethers, or even vacationing together on occasion.

We do have other friends with kids who don’t live in our neighborhood/area that we get together with regularly, but I always assumed it would be different once the kids were in elementary and we would find at least one family to be good friends with. Don’t get me wrong - everyone is nice enough, we have even tried having a couple families over last summer/fall… but there was never any reciprocation or interest in continuing to build the friendship.

What is your friend dynamic like with families from your kids’ schools?

[Anonymous]

No

[Anonymous]

Yes with many but not with their closest friends. We are friendly and communicative though.

[Anonymous]

We got to be good friends with some families when the kids were friends in elementary school. Kids now go to different schools and both the adults and kids have drifted apart but still see each sometimes. We're not friends (but are friendly) with the parents of our kids' current friends. It get harder when the kids get older because they're so much more independent and the adults have less opportunities to see each other and meaningfully interact.

[Anonymous]

We are friendly with the parents of my kids' friends, but only a very small handful have actually become our friends.

[Anonymous]

With some, yes. We don't force friendships as adults for the sake of our kids, though. We're always friendly, of course. We chat while dropping off/picking up and we text to confirm plans.

We also have friends who have kids that are not friends with my kids. The kids will play together nicely when the friends visit us or they'll chat together if we go out to dinner together, but they are not friendly in the sense that my DS will ask if their DS can come to play or spend the night.

[Anonymous]

No. We are friendly and help each other out sometimes with last minute pickups and drop offs, but we do not hang out.

[Anonymous]

Adding another 'no' here. I think TV shows, movies, social media, etc. have made parents think it's way more common than it really is, and then some people feel inadequate because their social life is not matching up. It's perfectly normal to be mere acquaintances of your children's close friends' parents.

[Anonymous]

Same, OP. It always surprises me too.

[Anonymous]

I have found the best group of friends with one of my kids friends parents.. the other one not so much. One group was very likeminded and easy to hang out with while the other is a mix of cultures and religions that seems to make things more complicated.

Group 1 is always inviting us places and we all hang out, group 2 is happy to send their kids over and very friendly but never reciprocate..

So I think it is very much luck of the draw.

[Anonymous]

My kid (6) has two friends (one from preschool & one from K) whose whole families have clicked with ours and we get together as families to hang out. Everyone else we are friendly with and talk to when we see them, but not necessarily friends. We also have two couple friends who have same-age-ish kids who we will all happily hang out with together.

We do try extra hard to make these things happen, though, b/c my kid is an only and craves socialization.

[Anonymous]

Some, not all.

[Anonymous]

No and even if you think you're friends now, it won't last unless you're neighbors or something else that contributes to the friendship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have two kids, ages 4 and 9, and while my kids have a ton of good friends at their schools (preschool and elementary), I am surprised that we have not become super close with any of their friends’ families. Growing up my brother and I were best friends with a pair of siblings our same ages/grades, and our parents became really close as well. We were two years apart and so were many other kids and their siblings, so it was really common I guess to have groups of friends like this. I have so many memories of weekend backyard get togethers, or even vacationing together on occasion.

We do have other friends with kids who don’t live in our neighborhood/area that we get together with regularly, but I always assumed it would be different once the kids were in elementary and we would find at least one family to be good friends with. Don’t get me wrong - everyone is nice enough, we have even tried having a couple families over last summer/fall… but there was never any reciprocation or interest in continuing to build the friendship.

What is your friend dynamic like with families from your kids’ schools?

NO. The parents are all nice and friendly but they are just never really "our type" of friends. It was hard enough trying to have couple friends as a married couple, forget family friends. Everyone has to match which is 1 in a billion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two kids, ages 4 and 9, and while my kids have a ton of good friends at their schools (preschool and elementary), I am surprised that we have not become super close with any of their friends’ families. Growing up my brother and I were best friends with a pair of siblings our same ages/grades, and our parents became really close as well. We were two years apart and so were many other kids and their siblings, so it was really common I guess to have groups of friends like this. I have so many memories of weekend backyard get togethers, or even vacationing together on occasion.

We do have other friends with kids who don’t live in our neighborhood/area that we get together with regularly, but I always assumed it would be different once the kids were in elementary and we would find at least one family to be good friends with. Don’t get me wrong - everyone is nice enough, we have even tried having a couple families over last summer/fall… but there was never any reciprocation or interest in continuing to build the friendship.

What is your friend dynamic like with families from your kids’ schools?

NO. The parents are all nice and friendly but they are just never really "our type" of friends. It was hard enough trying to have couple friends as a married couple, forget family friends. Everyone has to match which is 1 in a billion.

I also want to note, I thought when we bought a home and our neighbors with kids could be our "friends" too but it's a big fat NO there too! Everyone sort of keeps to themselves in our neighborhood.