Montessori or Waldorf for autistic preschooler?

[Anonymous]

Our DS is 3yo and autistic. He's a very sweet, adventurous child with a speech delay and some difficulty managing his emotions (I mean what 3yo doesn't struggle with that...). He is currently in a preschool that is part play based, but they do a lot of worksheets and long story times that aren't the right fit.

Has anyone done Montessori or Waldorf with an autistic preschooler? Our former SLP, who we liked very much, said that sometimes these programs can be too child led, and basically he won't learn to be part of a group, share, in a way that males sense for him and the world around him. Wondering if anyone here seconds that perspective or has others. We are located in Northern Alexandria and are also open to recs if anyone has them.

[Anonymous]

I agree with your SLP. If you don't like your current preschool (if your DC is unhappy there or if they're too rigid for him) then look around for another but a part play-based part traditional preschool seems reasonable.

[Anonymous]

Genuine Waldorf schools are few and far between around here. And yes, I think your SLP is right on.

What is it that appeals to you about Montessori and Waldorf? It sounds like what you want is something more play-based, but not student-led, and with the benefits that you get in a public school like an IEP and push-in speech therapy.

If you could find a private Waldorf or Montessori that would accept him, you'd be giving up the rights that he has in the public system, and you'd also probably have to pay separately for a 1:1 aide, for speech therapy, for whatever else he turns out to need. And if the school won't implement therapies during the day then you'll have to jam therapy into the afternoons and weekends, which makes for a stressful and expensive lifestyle.

[Anonymous]

Also work sheets are not at all appropriate for 3YO. Look for a school that uses Creative Curriculum.

[Anonymous]

I have been in SN parent groups long enough to tell you that Waldorf is always a disaster with SN kids, and Montessori often is, though kids with certain profiles may do okay. The more common experience though, is that it doesn’t work out. You really want a school that will be warm, provide kids with enough structure and support (even in a play based setting), and be clear and explicit about rules and expectations. Ask your SLP or other therapists what preschools they like. I feel like a good teacher is the main thing, more than the school overall. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also work sheets are not at all appropriate for 3YO. Look for a school that uses Creative Curriculum.

DP. Coloring worksheets are not inappropriate, and some 3 year olds have the ability and desire to do them. My DC with undiagnosed-at-that-time SN didn't and the preschool didn't push it.

[Anonymous]

OP we did a similar search in Alexandria. I found that Waldorf would only take my dc if we paid for a full time aid. It also seemed as if it would be detrimental to her social development bc she wouldn’t be pushed to join circle or anything else. We landed at a play based nature preschool that has been great. Now we are on the hunt for a K and can’t find anything. To the poster who said they’d lose services at public school, our experience sadly has been that Alexandria has few to none to offer for preschool (and I’m skeptical about elementary).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have been in SN parent groups long enough to tell you that Waldorf is always a disaster with SN kids, and Montessori often is, though kids with certain profiles may do okay. The more common experience though, is that it doesn’t work out. You really want a school that will be warm, provide kids with enough structure and support (even in a play based setting), and be clear and explicit about rules and expectations. Ask your SLP or other therapists what preschools they like. I feel like a good teacher is the main thing, more than the school overall. Good luck!

In our experience, it did not work out. Too unstructured and DC did not really engage or get the support needed to learn basic preschool skills for K, so we switched.

Not sure where you are but in DC consider St. Columba's or NCRC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our DS is 3yo and autistic. He's a very sweet, adventurous child with a speech delay and some difficulty managing his emotions (I mean what 3yo doesn't struggle with that...). He is currently in a preschool that is part play based, but they do a lot of worksheets and long story times that aren't the right fit.

Has anyone done Montessori or Waldorf with an autistic preschooler? Our former SLP, who we liked very much, said that sometimes these programs can be too child led, and basically he won't learn to be part of a group, share, in a way that males sense for him and the world around him. Wondering if anyone here seconds that perspective or has others. We are located in Northern Alexandria and are also open to recs if anyone has them.

Of course all 3 year olds struggle with emotions but many kids with SN have *more* trouble. If you think a teacher won't notice the obvious differences simply because there's a wide range of 'normal', you're mistaken.

[Anonymous]

Others have commented on the academic aspects of child-led learning, but the social dynamics could also be challenging.

Specifically, Montessori and Waldorf are both very big on child-led conflict resolution. This can be very hard on kids who do not read social cues easily, or who struggle with impulse control, because the pedagogy rests on kids solving their own problems using words and social norms.

For a kid struggling with speech and social pragmatics, it could easily lead to frustration and isolation.

[Anonymous]

Both Montesorri and Waldorf philosophies expect children to guide their own social learning. Children on the spectrum generally need more explicit guidance and clearer structure to thrive. Look for a solid preschool where there is a balance of play and structure and teachers who truly understand your child. Observing the teachers interacting with my child has always been the best test of a good fit.

[Anonymous]

Are you located in MoCo? My child with ASD goes to Karasik. They are an inclusive daycare and follow Creative Curriculum. I cannot say enough good things about the teachers there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Others have commented on the academic aspects of child-led learning, but the social dynamics could also be challenging.

Specifically, Montessori and Waldorf are both very big on child-led conflict resolution. This can be very hard on kids who do not read social cues easily, or who struggle with impulse control, because the pedagogy rests on kids solving their own problems using words and social norms.

For a kid struggling with speech and social pragmatics, it could easily lead to frustration and isolation.

All of the bolded part. They also want the kids to handle transitions well, and without adult guidance. These areas were where my DS had the hardest time with Montessori. He actually thrived on some of the academic aspects, because he could focus on the activities that interested him. But he needed more support in the other areas and they simply weren't willing to provide it (they told us that directly). I would note that we did not have a diagnosis at the time, but if we had we would have tried to get him a spot in our local public preschool.

[Anonymous]

We determined that Montessori and Waldorf were NOT a fit for my on the spectrum DS when he was preschool age. Now that he is older it’s even more clear that would have been a disaster. I would not recommend it but of course every child is different.

[Anonymous]

This is a very unpopular position, but Montessori was absolutely wonderful for my child. The best school experience he has had, to be honest (and we have tried the range). He was always very academically oriented and Montessori let him soar; I attribute a lot of his patience with challenges and ability to dive deep into problems to his great start in Montessori. I don't really get the concern that SLPs and others always have with the lack of socializing. There was lots of cooperative work, plus plenty of unstructured outdoor time, AND, for the three-year-olds, it was only three hours a day anyway. We had plenty of other opportunities to interact in different ways with other peers.

My two caveats are that any school experience is extremely teacher dependent. My child had a teacher for four years who instantly got him and appreciated him but was also willing to establish clear expectations. (She was also just a brilliantly gifted teacher.) Montessori may have been a uniquely good fit for my curious kid who hyper focuses but we would have gone anywhere for this teacher. The second is that, there is no question that my child was able to avoid non-preferred tasks and that that helped conceal a very serious LD. On the other hand, he wasn't able to avoid them in public school and they were even more clueless about the LD, even when it was obvious, so there's that.