No Roblox and too upset
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Anonymous
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DS is 8. He plays video games like Minecraft and Lego Starwars. Gaming is his favorite activity but he happily plays sports and goes outside etc. I’ve said no to Roblox until he turns 11 bc 1) I think his personality is prone to getting addicted 2) I don’t want to deal with requests for Robux 3) the internet says I should become more informed about the game and supervise and play with him, and I don’t have time or energy to do that and 4) anecdotally I’ve heard people say they wish their kids didn’t play/didn’t allow it til later.
DS has exposure to the game bc several of his cousins have it, so a few times a year he plays on their iPads. This weekend he played with his cousins, mostly watching them and sometimes they let him. This evening though, my son had full control of the iPad bc his cousin left it behind. So DS didn’t have to share and had free rein for about 2 hours. I kept giving him countdowns “10 min, 5 min etc” and when I asked him to put it away for bedtime he had tears in his eyes and said “I’ll kill you if you never let me have Roblox”. I told him that wasn’t t a kind thing to say to me, and he kind of fell apart into a crying heap, saying he wasn’t a nice kid. And then lots more crying -he said he is going to miss his cousins, miss grandma, miss Roblox- basically a tired and overstimulated post-Easter with travel meltdown. Anyway do I need to address the death threat? It makes me hate Roblox and confirms my reasons for delaying it even more. |
Anonymous
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Wow, I'm sorry that happened.
I would not address the threat further than you have (you did address it, he acknowledged wrong). It sounds like he was overtired and over stimulated. But, I would take some steps around video games going forward. For example he should never have been playing on cousins iPad after they left, what was that? Also talk to your siblings to see if electronics can be kept away during family visits. Especially if it's your house hosting, you can say no. I'd also take steps to reduce the other games, even if you just replace them with a family movie. It's addictive. |
Anonymous
| It sounds like an extreme statement but overtired kids fresh off screens can be dramatic. I wouldn't go overboard with concern about it unless he ever says something in that vein again. He will likely reflect on the intensity of his statement and regret it...hopefully |
Anonymous
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Why was he allowed to play on someone elses iPad? It is not his so he should not have been using it in the first place.
Was the 2 hours on Roblox more video game time then he is normally allowed? Do you normally let him play video games before bed time? I ask because we have time limits for video games and we don’t allow him to play before bed time. If you allowed your child to play longer then usual and at a time that he normally isn’t allowed to play at then that is on you. We set those rules and are consistent with them so DS knows what to expect. Toss in a more active weekend probably with more screen time then normal and a more tired kid and you are going to have a melt down. I don’t see Roblox as being that different then Minecraft or most other non-first person shooter video games. We don’t let DS, 10, chat with anyone on Roblox and he is limited in the time he can play. He has a series of games to choose from, including Roblox, but he only plays Roblox with a couple of friends. Most of the time he plays something else. Different parents have their lines in the sand, we do not allow Fortnite or any type of first person shooter game. DS asked to play Fortnite, we said no and explained why. We don’t think that hunting other humans is a good idea, we don’t like the violence, and we don’t allow chatting in games with people he doesn’t know. He seemed to understand why we don’t like the game and didn’t ask again. You are allowing your child to play Roblox with his cousins but then saying no the rest of the time. I can see where that would be confusing to him and now Roblox has become a bigger thing because you have made it extra special. |
Anonymous
| I would just say too to Roblox forever at this point. Deliver the information at a neutral time, probably not on a school night. If he has an addictive personality now, he’ll have the same personality at 11. Have a talk with cousins’ parents and see if family time can be game-free. |
Anonymous
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Saying yes to Minecraft and Lego but no to Roblox can feel to a kid like saying yes to the yellow and red backpack but no to his favorite color backpack, blue. A denial of what he wants as opposed to your more nuanced thinking. I would compromise and get all your concerns addressed by doing the following.
(2) Make a blanket statement across all apps: zero in-game purchases at the risk of losing all games, (3) find some time over the next 3 years to play with him and supervise. I think you’ll find Minecraft and Lego just as addictive. (1) I would use the time playing with him, when he’s feeling good and connected to you, to talk about addiction and all the feelings he’s feeling in the moment. (4) Rather than rely on hearsay of “some people,” I would decide for myself through my own experience of the game. Addiction won’t stop because you arbitrarily restrict some addictive games over others. In terms of when you can find the time over the next 3 years to play with him, I would link it to his behavior. He helps bring in and put away groceries, clean his room, clear the dining room table, load the dishwasher, etc. this frees up your time to play with him. I would make the connection crystal to him: when he helps you find time to help him, you both win. |
Anonymous
| Agree on convincing your siblings to ban screens during family get-togethers. Make the cousins actually interact with each other. That is the best age for outdoor games and board/card games. |
Anonymous
That may work under limited circumstances. Then there will be birthday parties, sleepovers, play dates. I wouldn’t want to restrict my child to doing all these things only with the moms who agree to restrict Roblox while my child is there. And if he plays, I wouldn’t want him to hide it from me. |
Anonymous
| You are being unreasonable. |
Anonymous
| If this was a one off, I would just let it go. Agree that this was probably normal kid stuff due to being tired, sad, overstimulated, etc. I dont think it has to do with Roblox specifically, although we also don't allow that game even though we do allow Minecraft and others. You're all good, OP, but if it happens again, I would come down harder. |
Anonymous
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I feel so bad for this kid. My DD got Roblox during the pandemic when she was 9 and her younger brother soon after. Yes, they love it and play it all the time. We have a lot of conversations about how to do so safely, but I do not monitor them. It's a huge way for them to bond with friends from school and ECs. They are active, their grades are awesome, etc.
He said something horrible (newsflash: so do adults) and it sounds like he feels way more than sufficiently bad about it. He is not a bad kid. Get him Roblox. It will bring him happiness. |
Anonymous
We do this with our cousins, and it's really great to see them all playing together - ages 2 to 17. Does the 17 yr old step away a few times to text a boyfriend or something? Yes. But she's very quiet about it, it's not often, and because of that we all pretend not to notice. |
Anonymous
Agree |
Anonymous
Drugs bring people happiness - it doesn't mean they should have them. Driving fast brings people happiness - until they lose control of a car. Just doing something because it will bring a kid happiness is not a reason to do it. That's what being a parent is all about. |
Anonymous
My kids also had/have large amounts of screen time and handle it fine. But I think it's naive to think every child will do well with all videogames. OP allows other games and set boundaries around Roblox due to her knowledge of her child. She was pleasantly surprised when her kid got to play: instead, all of her concerns were confirmed. OP, I don't think you need to punish or address what he said further. But it does seem that setting limits around the game makes sense. |