what age for a cell phone? what are your rules?

[Anonymous]

My 10-yr old wants a cell phone!

I already told her definitely not while she's in elementary school (2 more yrs as she's just finishing 4th grade) but I said I'd consider it in middle school. I already told her that if she does get one, she's handing it over at bedtime and not staying up half the night texting her friends and there will be other limits on how much she can use it.

Just wondering what age you allowed your child to have a phone and what rules/limitations you place on use.

I don't think my DD will be talking on the phone that much, but I know she wants it for texting. I don't like the idea of all these kids constantly texting each other, always having to check messages & reply, etc. I just don't like the idea of being constantly "plugged in" and distracted. But I know they all do it (not that that's a reason to let my kid do something) and I don't want to be overly strict if all of her friends have phones. Kids' cultures now is so far removed from what I was doing in high school (when we had to pass notes to each other in class to communicate!), it's hard to know how much of this to allow.

[Anonymous]

I'd allow it, but use it as a carrot to entice good behavior and grades. Bad grades or inappropriate attitude= no phone. Good grades and helping around the house and being respectful = controlled use of phone. Use a graduated system, like in driving. Start with a pay as you go plan without texting abilities. Move up from there, based on behavior.

[Anonymous]

My oldest starts middle school in the fall and I'm getting him one at that point. The school rules require that phones be off and in the locker during the school day. I plan to have him plug it in where we plug ours in - the kitchen - which means he won't have it after he goes to bed. I also plan to require that he answer every call and text from me, a rule that will be modified when he is old enough to drive. He will not be permitted to erase his call and text history. I don't plan on tying it to behavior. When he goes to middle school, he will have much more freedom/less supervision and I want to be able to check up on him anytime I want. Also, if he has a problem, I want it to be easy for him to get in touch with me.

[Anonymous]

We held off for years, and our kids were the "only ones without cell phones!". They got them at ages 13 and 14 and almost never use them. Their friends who got them at 10 or 11 are positively addicted to them. My kids are social, have friends, but use a landline mostly or have friends over. I actually have to remind them to have their phones when they are out and I want to be able to reach them.

[Anonymous]

My eldest got one for her 11th birthday, which was just before she started middle school, and my middle child will be getting one this summer, as she starts middle school in the fall.

They both know that they have to follow the school rules about cell phones, and if they are caught breaking those rules there will be consequences at home as well as at school.

They do have a texting plan, but it is limited, and they have to pay for anything over the limit. So far, that has only happened once, and the overage was very modest.

The recent problem is that my eldest started forgetting to charge her phone/forgetting it at home when she goes out. I told her that the reason she has the phone is so I can get in touch with her, and if I can't, then maybe I should stop paying for the phone. She shaped up fast!