Parents like each other but our kids don't
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Anonymous
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We are very good friends with some of the families at our DC's school. We have been friends for some time now. Say my child is A and the other child is B. I just found out from a third person that our child was not invited to B's birthday party. We didn't feel bad or anything but when our other common friend's child lets call them C asked B about it. B specifically asked C not to tell anything to A as they didn't want them there.
How will this unfold for us the parents, will we still be friends knowing B does not like our child A. Or our friendship will frizzle out. |
Anonymous
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If a train left Chicago traveling 60 mph....
Sorry, I left word problems behind in elementary school. |
Anonymous
| Well, if you are all mature adults and had a sincere friendship, nothing should happen. If the foundation of your friendship was your children, the relationship will fade. |
Anonymous
| You're the one who will set the tone going forward since it's your kid that wasn't invited. It sounds like B's parents recognize that the kids don't get along, (rightfully) didn't push for your kid to be invited, and are probably hoping the adult friendship can remain cool. |
Anonymous
This for the friendship with the parents, and for the reaction from your kid. Sometimes your kid will not be invited to a party, and sometimes your kid will not want to invite someone to a party. Avoid unnecessary cruelty but also recognize that it's part of life. |
Anonymous
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In my experience, if the children really don't get along, the parents cannot be close friends, just friendly acquaintances. My kids are friendly (not best friends, but get along) with my best friends' children. When we get together, they always find something to talk and laugh about, even if they don't seek each other out outside of these gatherings. |
Anonymous
| The relationship will fade and that's ok. You have to follow your kid's lead here. |
Anonymous
| Considering you are posting in tweens and teens, I assume your kids are older. You can have separate friends. My son was friends with a group of boys in elementary school. They have long gone their own ways and are teens in high school now. I don’t think they have hung out or likely even spoken in a couple of years. I still get together with a couple of the moms a few times a year for drinks because we have our own friendship, separate from our kids. It’s healthier that way anyway. |
Anonymous
| Been through this a few times. It’s hard. If you have enough in common with the parents that you have plenty to talk about other than your kids, and if both parties are mature adults, there’s a chance for the friendship. |
Anonymous
| Get together with them outside of your kids. My mom was friends with other kids' moms who I wasn't friends with, it isn't a big deal. Just one of those things where we were friends in elementary school then drifted and got different friends. I don't think B should be obligated to invite your kid just because the parents are friends. |
Anonymous
| Why would that affect your friendship? You’re not an extension of your kid, or vice versa. Your kids are old enough to stay home alone- get together without them. |
Anonymous
Rule Number 1 of parenting: Find your own friends. Parents that friend other parents based on kid's friendships are so weird to me |
Anonymous
| It depends. We were family friends with DD’s best friend in preschool/kindergarten and when the friend bullied dd in 1st grade and they stopped being friends we stopped being close with the parents. Other friends where our kids aren’t close we have maintained friendships. |
Anonymous
| Nothing is more cringe than parents being friends with their kid's friends parents. Get a life |
Anonymous
| You can be friends with the parents if your kids aren’t friends. However, if the kid situation become a bullying issue or their child being actively mean to your child, the friendship between the adults wi be over. |