Kids with different levels

[Anonymous]

My son got into level 4 for 3rd grade. My daughter is in fourth grade currently. She is not even really aware that there is a school for level 4 or what it is. I don't want to cause an issue. I don't want her to feel self-conscious. How can I explain that her brother is going to a different school? They are very close. School can be difficult for her sometimes although she is very bright. What is the best way to explain why he's going to another school?

[Anonymous]

It will be hard but I’d focus on your kids’ different strengths. I have a similar situation - we are in DC, so no issue with AAP vs non-AAP, but one kid did just more academically inclined and is multiple grade levels ahead in math; other kid is very bright, but has adhd and is not multiple levels ahead. I try very hard to focus on their individual strengths. I would try to explain it as, her brother needs some more challenge in some specific area (ideally this is not a subject she’s very into!). Overall, I think the most important thing is to encourage them in their strengths. Siblings without rivalry is a great book for some of these issues.

[Anonymous]

“Dad/Mom and I have been working with Larlo’s teacher to discuss plans for next year. We’ve decided that he will attend Xxx ES next year because there’s a program that best fits his learning needs. You’ll still go to Yyyy ES. What’s your thinking about that? What are you wondering?”

Before answering any of her questions, it’s okay to first respond with “Can you say more about what’s making you ask that?” Sometimes we think there’s more behind a question a kid is asking, and we “over answer by talking too much.

Talk in small chunks. Don’t over explain.

[Anonymous]

Be honest. I kept my kids in a local level IV vs. going center and never made a big deal out of it. But kids talk-they know/hear about AAP, they know what a center school is, etc. Frame in such a way that AAP is something that best fits your son's needs.

[Anonymous]

Presumably, your 4th grader already knows that AAP exists, that it's not a good fit for her for whatever reason, and that it would be a good fit for her younger brother. Be honest.

[Anonymous]

Thank you for taking time to answer, much appreciated