If your child took a gap year and stayed at home for some or all of the year, did they get lonely?

[Anonymous]

By “stay home” I mean doing something that kept them busy and engaged, but still living at home during that period. My child is happy with their options and is planning to take a gap year. They have things in mind to do during it. However, I worry that they’ll be very lonely on weekends or weeknights while all their high school friends are away at college & busy. It would be difficult for them to make new friends in time for the gap year, right? Is this a strange concern to have? It just seems like a long time.

Any insight would be appreciated.

[Anonymous]

Youngest did it. It proved to be pointless. It’s just a waste of life. I don’t recommend it — unless it’s military service like Israel or Singapore requires.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:By “stay home” I mean doing something that kept them busy and engaged, but still living at home during that period. My child is happy with their options and is planning to take a gap year. They have things in mind to do during it. However, I worry that they’ll be very lonely on weekends or weeknights while all their high school friends are away at college & busy. It would be difficult for them to make new friends in time for the gap year, right? Is this a strange concern to have? It just seems like a long time.

Any insight would be appreciated.

Year out to stay at home…I thought gap years were supposed to be fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:By “stay home” I mean doing something that kept them busy and engaged, but still living at home during that period. My child is happy with their options and is planning to take a gap year. They have things in mind to do during it. However, I worry that they’ll be very lonely on weekends or weeknights while all their high school friends are away at college & busy. It would be difficult for them to make new friends in time for the gap year, right? Is this a strange concern to have? It just seems like a long time.

Any insight would be appreciated.

Year out to stay at home…I thought gap years were supposed to be fun.

OP here. They’re exploring travel options too. But those would probably be seasonal, either fall or spring.

[Anonymous]

If your kid can fill the year with travel and work they should be fine, it's just hard when there's no structure, it becomes depressing fast.

[Anonymous]

I would think this is very child specific. DS is not a kid who seemed particularly "ready" to be thinking about college when it came time. He does fine in school, but has no area of passion, more like one or two areas he doesn't loathe, and no particular thing he would want to accomplish during a gap year. He is a very social guy, and the thought of him taking a year to work at a random job while all his friends moved on was unappealing to all of us. So, he applied, and has some good choices. Our assumption is that he'll figure things out along the way. If he doesn't, he'll take some time off then.

But there are other kids who I am sure would thrive with a year off. If your daughter has thought it all through and is comfortable with it, I wouldn't worry. It's ok if she's a little lonely. Learning how to be by yourself and comfortable with your own company is a great skill, and she'll have the support of her family while she does it. Especially if she is a little burnt out or something, she may just need the break.

[Anonymous]

They’ll make friends with their new activities. Why do they want a gap year? Do you mean they aren’t happy with their options?
At any rate, I don’t think a year is a very long time.

[Anonymous]

just make sure they stay away from hs crowd that’s at home and NOT doing a gap year

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:just make sure they stay away from hs crowd that’s at home and NOT doing a gap year

This is the problem, especially if working retail or service jobs.

[Anonymous]

Mine ended up at home because he had an injury at the beginning of what he was meant to be doing last fall. He hung out with a friend who is in college locally and other friends who are in state and were home on weekends and over breaks.
He's recovered now and is pursuing another opportunity to make the most of the year.

[Anonymous]

Mine gapped due to Covid so the scenario was very specific. Part of year was home working and that was fine, but the MUCH better part was not at home on various other things she organized for herself (outdoor volunteer work, road-tripping out west, backpacking etc). I think a full year at home would be tough for most kids that age and they gain so much more from stepping out into the world a bit even if college isn’t happening quite yet.