Boss doesn't like me -- no idea why

[Anonymous]

My former boss was great, we had a good repour and he actually promoted me to my current position.

But then we he was pushed out, and our whole org re-shuffled and I have a new boss.

I try very hard to respond to every request, keep her in the loop, and manage my direct reports to minimize drama, cost to the firm, etc.

I still have this sense my boss doesn't like me. My reviews have been fine, but I feel like there is something she wants me to do or unhappy with she isn't tell me about. She seems to get along better with some other of my peers, so it's not a universal grumpiness.

I have tried looking for other roles, but I am super specialized so that is a long road until something else comes up (if ever). I worry I may be pushed out as well, but right now I've years of good reviews and no drama, so i hope that is unlikely.

Any ideas on how to better manage up in this ambiguous situation?

[julie73]

Ugh... I was in a similar situation at my previous job. A change in corporate structure and my wonderful boss ended up retiring and I got a new boss. At first things were great and she was very refreshing with a new enthusiasm.

After a while, things between us became uneasy and she was constantly nitpicking everything I did. Looking back at it all, she was in over her head and she didn't like me constantly catching her mistakes. That was my job though and she should've been thankful for pulling her along.

After a year working for her, she managed to have me pushed out That had never happened to me before.

[Anonymous]

I realize my boss has never managed a diverse team before; she was head of a select SME group, so when I report problems from my team I think she thinks I’m the problem and not that some of my team can be difficult.

[Anonymous]

So you respond to every request, keep her in the loop, and manage my direct reports to minimize drama, cost to the firm, etc. and have decent reviews and your conclusion is your boss doesn't like you.

You don't need to be BFFs with your boss, OP.

[Anonymous]

rapport not repour

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:rapport not repour

Thank you - op

[Anonymous]

Are you wfh?

I'm seeing this so much more often, and I think it's a negative consequence of wfh. People are just developing impressions of each other without getting to know each other well. They can't read each other and bc there's little inter office chit chat, it's hard to even realize what's happening until you're essentially being pushed out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you wfh?

I'm seeing this so much more often, and I think it's a negative consequence of wfh. People are just developing impressions of each other without getting to know each other well. They can't read each other and bc there's little inter office chit chat, it's hard to even realize what's happening until you're essentially being pushed out.

No I’m in office every day, but boss is WFH a lot but it’s not like I can pop into her home

[julie73]

Anonymous wrote:Are you wfh?

I'm seeing this so much more often, and I think it's a negative consequence of wfh. People are just developing impressions of each other without getting to know each other well. They can't read each other and bc there's little inter office chit chat, it's hard to even realize what's happening until you're essentially being pushed out.

During Covid with offices shut down and WFH was the thing... I hated it! I need to walk down the hall from time to time to chat with other people in person. I also have to pop my head into my boss's office as well...can't do that from home.

[Anonymous]

julie73 wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you wfh?

I'm seeing this so much more often, and I think it's a negative consequence of wfh. People are just developing impressions of each other without getting to know each other well. They can't read each other and bc there's little inter office chit chat, it's hard to even realize what's happening until you're essentially being pushed out.

During Covid with offices shut down and WFH was the thing... I hated it! I need to walk down the hall from time to time to chat with other people in person. I also have to pop my head into my boss's office as well...can't do that from home.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My former boss was great, we had a good repour and he actually promoted me to my current position.

But then we he was pushed out, and our whole org re-shuffled and I have a new boss.

I try very hard to respond to every request, keep her in the loop, and manage my direct reports to minimize drama, cost to the firm, etc.

I still have this sense my boss doesn't like me. My reviews have been fine, but I feel like there is something she wants me to do or unhappy with she isn't tell me about. She seems to get along better with some other of my peers, so it's not a universal grumpiness.

I have tried looking for other roles, but I am super specialized so that is a long road until something else comes up (if ever). I worry I may be pushed out as well, but right now I've years of good reviews and no drama, so i hope that is unlikely.

Any ideas on how to better manage up in this ambiguous situation?

It could be because you got along so well with the former boss who was pushed out. New boss may see you as one of your old boss’s people and not one of hers. If you think she gets along better with some of your peers, that is the only place to look for clues about what you can do to improve your relationship but it may be beyond your control, so I wouldn’t stress. Do you job, keep that drama low and if you think there is something concrete, you can ask for specific feedback.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

A boss like that drains your soul. She might be jealous or envious. My issues or dragged out drama have only been with female bosses. She's the problem not you and she can't communicate. Pretty soon she'll find things to nitpick you about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My former boss was great, we had a good repour and he actually promoted me to my current position.

But then we he was pushed out, and our whole org re-shuffled and I have a new boss.

I try very hard to respond to every request, keep her in the loop, and manage my direct reports to minimize drama, cost to the firm, etc.

I still have this sense my boss doesn't like me. My reviews have been fine, but I feel like there is something she wants me to do or unhappy with she isn't tell me about. She seems to get along better with some other of my peers, so it's not a universal grumpiness.

I have tried looking for other roles, but I am super specialized so that is a long road until something else comes up (if ever). I worry I may be pushed out as well, but right now I've years of good reviews and no drama, so i hope that is unlikely.

Any ideas on how to better manage up in this ambiguous situation?

Reading the first two sentences, I wonder if new boss doesn't like that you are part of the old guard, which is threatening to her

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A boss like that drains your soul. She might be jealous or envious. My issues or dragged out drama have only been with female bosses. She's the problem not you and she can't communicate. Pretty soon she'll find things to nitpick you about.

Male here who was pushed out by a female boss who didn't like me. Female boss was married with no children and I am married with children and involved in their lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you wfh?

I'm seeing this so much more often, and I think it's a negative consequence of wfh. People are just developing impressions of each other without getting to know each other well. They can't read each other and bc there's little inter office chit chat, it's hard to even realize what's happening until you're essentially being pushed out.

yes! And it's so hard to learn about each other when working remotely.