S/O what does your DH do that makes you want it?
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Anonymous
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Last night I worked late and DH was asleep when I got home. When I went to get into bed, I flipped the covers back and there was a note laying on the bed that said "Nice butt! *drew wide eyed emoji* you should press it up against me when you lay down".
Wasn't so tired anymore 
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Anonymous
| He sounds delightful! |
Anonymous
He does! |
Anonymous
| Choreplay, baby! |
Anonymous
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I was looking at the other thread, and I honestly cannot remember the last time I wanted it before I was already engaged in it. I do initiate, but it’s almost always more of a cognitive decision. It’s like deciding to put a roast in the oven because you know you will be hungry later.
I know it’s a trope on here, but what gets me there is DH meeting me where I’m at and actually carving out time. If I were getting home from work at 1am, the only thing that would put me in the mood would be a note saying that he got a sitter to take the kids to school in the morning so I could sleep in. Even better if he sent a text. But if it’s 1am, and I have to be up at 6am to get the kids up, there is nothing he can do that’s going to make me want it right then. |
Anonymous
| Nothing. When not in the mood, there's nothing DH can do. The mood, when it's there, can be killed through DH actions, however. |
Anonymous
| Leave town. I get excited to see my AP without having to come up with excuses for what I’m doing or have a curfew for when I have to be home. |
Anonymous
I will do anything if he does chores. He doesn’t though lol. |
Anonymous
| Laundry. |
Anonymous
| DH has a pair of basketball shorts that fit him perfectly. He only wears them when he is moving big things like furniture and they get me every time. |
Anonymous
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I'm skeptical of these choreplay answers. There are about a hundred ways of rationalizing why whatever chores he does "don't count."
Using Emily Nagoski's "gas" and "brake" model of sexual desire, I can see where a lot of undone chores would be a brake; particularly if DW is trying to handle a lot of them while DH lounges on the couch. But, for most women, I don't think the chores are going to be what hits the gas on her libido. |
Anonymous
| Grabs me |
Anonymous
DH doesn’t really get the opportunity to hit the gas unless I’m in the right headspace and the chores are (mostly) done. Once it’s to the point that we have started being intimate and he is hitting the gas, I would say that it goes to completion 95% of the time. |
Anonymous
| Starts massaging my back, then lower. |
Anonymous
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Sends me a text memo with a menu well a head of time, letting me choose the activities.
Gives me the time to think about, process, and get ready for things. |