Picky eaters spin off - what are your rules for your kids?

[Anonymous]

We are having dinner issues lately and this is with our kids who are 13 and 10. We cook homemade dinners with quality ingredients. Not asking them to eat anything overly spicy or crazy-out there. But somehow we have created kids who don't seem to like anything. This is weird to me, because they were much less picky when they were younger. But now, one doesn't like spinach or other leafy greens, one doesn't like salad, one doesn't like pork, one doesn't like shrimp, one eats tacos with nothing on them besides meat and cheese, etc.

What's your parenting policy? Just eat it (oh, the whining!)? Go make yourself something else (but then it's never as healthy as dinner)? No snacks/treats after dinner unless you eat the whole thing (seems to juvenile for the age my kids are)? Make them make dinner once a week?

Give me your ideas - I'm frustrated.

[Anonymous]

Eh, I make a good dinner and if they don’t like it they can help themselves to bread and butter or an apple. My kids are 2, 4, and 7. For your kids, I wouldn’t even entertain the conversation. Tell them to grab an apple and go back to eating my dinner. I’m sure they aren’t starving and fully capable of cooking themselves a reasonable dinner. Insist they clean up the kitchen if they cook something.

[Anonymous]

It's so frustrating, OP, I get it.

Right now we are in the stage where the option is to eat what is served (even if only parts of it for a deconstructed version or whatever) or you can have a bowl of cereal. I hate it because I hate the idea of my kid having cereal for dinner 4-5 nights a week. But I've read all the stuff and tried all the things and the truth is you cannot force someone to eat food they don't want to eat, and no way am I preparing multiple meals for multiple people every night. We already work REALLY hard to make the stuff that is served broadly appealing to both adults and kids while also serving reasonably healthy food. We also involve kids in food prep and meal planning to no avail. I cannot even count the number of times our picky eater has selected the menu, helped make it, and then refused to eat it. This has happened dozens of times.

So yeah, my picky eater regularly has cheerios and a banana for dinner. And then she complains that she's tired of cheerios. So yes, I very much relate to your frustrations! But there's really not much else to do. Serve food. Try your best, Provide some minimally nutritious alternative they can serve themselves if they absolutely will not eat what is available. That's all I've come up with.

[Anonymous]

Eat what you want from dinner (there is always something they like that is part of dinner). If you’re still hungry, have some fruit. Don’t complain to me.

[Anonymous]

I am not a short-order cook, so I don't cook special meals. I take my family's preferences into account and don't deliberately make a meal I expect they won't like, and I make a couple of sides or whatever, and I'll serve deconstructed version or put the heat/spice/etc. on the side or add it after serving the kids. But I don't make a separate meal.

You have to take a no-thank you bite.

I do have the kids help choose and prepare meals, because I think that learning to cook is a good skill, because it's easier to put up with something you don't love if you know that you'll get to have some say in others, and because being more invested in the meal = eating more of it.

No dessert if you don't eat a reasonable dinner, because dessert isn't for filling up on. It's a small post-dinner treat, not making up for missing a meal.

I don't make a big deal out of what they eat. Never make it a power struggle. There were things I didn't like as a kid/teen, which I learned to like as an adult. I think it's about playing the long game.

[Anonymous]

They sit down with us, they try everything, they eat what they can, they don’t complain. No alternative choices.

They have turned out to be polite and non-picky eaters. While my son would have gone this way if we had let him, he always finds something he can eat wherever we go.

I detest picky children who are indulged. The only thing worse is picky adults, who are just big, ill-mannered children themselves. Never made to grow up. Unless you have an actual diagnosed issue .

[Anonymous]

Eat what they like and I always make something they will like or make your own food.

[Anonymous]

At 10 and 13 they should be making one dinner each a week anyway and dealing with the other kid complaining about it.
Since you are taking their preferences into account then they should try whatever and then make a pbj or cereal if they are not ok with it. If i know my kid hates shrimp, I wouldn't make a meal with just shrimp, at least offer some leftovers from earlier in the week as alternative.

[Anonymous]

PP here. We also do not do a dessert (some fruit is always on table) every night. My kid even asks "are we planning dessert today?" So its not an option most of the time anyway.

[Anonymous]

We have been there. It is so irritating.
Lately I’ve had some more success, and honestly I just changed up what I had been making. I found entirely new dishes I had never tried before. I also went a little heavier on the carbs than I had been. So before, I would make fish, rice and roasted broccoli. They sometimes ate it, sometimes rebelled. Instead, I did breaded fish tacos, with fresh lime, cabbage slaw and pico and avocado, rice and beans and fresh pineapple on the side, plus choice of sauces. So it’s a similar meal, but slightly less healthy and more of a novelty.

[Anonymous]

Here's dinner. Eat vegetables/salad. Other than that, eat of dinner what you want. If two hours later they eat yogurt on a piece of toast, I don't care.

[Anonymous]

You must eat all vegetables on the plate.

You must try a bite of the meal. (I make meals that will appeal to them and if I make something weird, I know they'll like the side dish or a component)

There isn't another meal that's coming and the kitchen is closed.

[Anonymous]

Kid has been helping cook since six. Is involved in menu planning. Not expected to like everything but also try everything. If it is cereal every night, no big deal. It doesn’t last forever.

If they want a dinner or snickers and ice cream fine, but we don’t speak whinese in this house and if they have an upset tummy and lose sleep, they still go to school the next day! Actions have consequences and failure is a great way to learn.

[Anonymous]

I have a 10yo and my spouse works evenings so it’s often just the 2 of us. Some things my kid can’t stand and I don’t force and some things are just not her favs so we do those now and again. Your taco example is similar, but she will eat avacado and tomato’s on the side so I don’t care that there is only meat and cheese in the taco ( we’re actually vegetarian so it’s meatless meat but that’s another post) in general as long as my kid is eating healthy I don’t mind much if she doesn’t want it prepared the same way I do. She doesn’t like lettuce but will eat cucumbers, tomatoes, carrots etc do I just do it like that for her with out the lettuce.

[Anonymous]

I would not want to be forced to eat something I do not like so I would never force my kids to. I do not even buy things I do not like. Do these parents who insist on particular foods eat every single thing? I eat tons of fruits and veg but hate bananas. I skip them. My kids can do the same. I make one dinner but they can help themselves to an alternative as long as they take care of it on their own.