Bipolar parent and parent with dementia - what kind of care

[Anonymous]

Bipolar parent is primary care giver of dementia parent currently, with daily assistance from hired caregivers. Bipolar parent seems to be losing capability to care for other parent, though.

What kind of institution would you suggest for them? Dementia parent is pleasant and child-like but needs constant supervision. Bipolar parent is, as you can imagine, mercurial and seems to be declining physically.

Budget is limited to $6-7k a month

[Anonymous]

The budget is the issue so I would find out if the office of aging can help you. I would look at places that offer from AL through to the end. Sounds like one needs memory care and the other needs AL. It's good the one with memory issues is pleasant. You won't have to deal with negotiations if they want to kick the parent out. Just be open to meds if the behavior suddenly takes a turn for the worst. I assume the parent with bipolar accepts the illness and will be willing to collaborate with health professionals as needed (and as able) when adjustments are needed? Mercurial will need to be watched and properly medicated if you want to keep caregivers from quitting or keep the parent at a residential place. Our experience is residential places want your input and they don't drug a parent into being a zombie (unless violent), but they do try to find the level that will keep the person able to be respectful of staff and peers which is a good thing.

[Anonymous]

Would they both continue to live together or need to be separated with the AL community i.e. one to memory care, one to general AL?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would they both continue to live together or need to be separated with the AL community i.e. one to memory care, one to general AL?

It all depends on level of need. You could hire a case manager to assess and give you a better idea. It isn't so bad if they live apart. That happened to my aunt and uncle. They still saw eachother very often and I think she ended up being relieved and sleeping better separated though she protested at first.

[Anonymous]

Would the bipolar parent still be home and independent, just not caring for their spouse?

If so, $6k for a dementia care facility seems about right in this area.

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry, OP. No advice, just commiseration.

[Anonymous]

Thanks so much. It seems as though there are no easy answers. Just waiting for the train to go over the cliff.

[Anonymous]

Any good recommendations for a case manager or tips on how to find one?