Mental Strategies for Dealing with Boss

[Anonymous]

Hi! I’ve been at my job for over a year. I don’t like the work, but for the most part have liked the team. The boss I now have is just a total mismatch of my work style. The job is now still boring, but also stressful for no reason.

I just can’t stand the way they manage. Very unorganized, frantic, anxiety ridden, and eager to please upper management. They do things like press for a deliverable, receive it quickly, be told about it in a team meeting, get a reminder message, be told in another team meeting a week later, and then demand its delivery as if it were never sent. There is constant fear of looking bad, and anticipation of looking bad, if they are not the only one delivering every message. I basically am feeding on the nervous energy. Plus, the work itself is still not awesome. I’m looking for another role but in the meantime, how do I let myself mentally ignore the chaos and panic without losing focus? Any coping strategies people have successfully used?

[Anonymous]

Is this post real? You don't like the work, don't like the boss, find the work boring, and want mental strategies for coping with the boss? Who you think is both chaotic and also overly focused on delivering?

Um... I see you're looking for another role, so "check" but you seem to hate work so much that you're accepting payment for something you're not very engaged in, and actively hostile to. Before asking how to "cope mentally," maybe you should examine your own contributing role in this? Clearly if you're posting here at 10AM during work hours, you're not so consumed by all this you can't waste your employers time (same as we are all doing here except shift workers, but let's call a spade a spade). Try taking your personal dislike of this person out of it and focused on problems to solve. You can't solve boss's problems but you are accountable to her/him. If he/she is really forgetful, then create a written track record, create a project charter, and check for feedback. Are you giving your boss updates that come at the end of six paragraphs of overthinking or over information? Are you constantly timely or are you being reminded because you forget your own deadlines enough that boss associates you with someone who needs constant prompting? Are you making your boss double up on your work? If none of the above applies and you're just a seriously mistreated perfect cog in the wheel, then create a project charter that helps you manage up as needed. But I doubt that - your post suggests you've already quiet quit and are just looking for ways to shield yourself from the consequences of phoning it in on work you aren't committed to, to a boss who is over committed to the work.

Tell us more about how you're working to produce despite your boss's alleged chaos that you're "feeding into" and convince me that you're not just convinced you could do this boring, dislikable role better than he/her is, and yeah, sorry, you are just feeling sorry for yourself and likely bringing your colleagues and boss down as well.

[Anonymous]

You need to focus your energy on getting a new job.

Basically, get a B or do the required work, but aim to get interviews and work on how many you can get each week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this post real? You don't like the work, don't like the boss, find the work boring, and want mental strategies for coping with the boss? Who you think is both chaotic and also overly focused on delivering?

Um... I see you're looking for another role, so "check" but you seem to hate work so much that you're accepting payment for something you're not very engaged in, and actively hostile to. Before asking how to "cope mentally," maybe you should examine your own contributing role in this? Clearly if you're posting here at 10AM during work hours, you're not so consumed by all this you can't waste your employers time (same as we are all doing here except shift workers, but let's call a spade a spade). Try taking your personal dislike of this person out of it and focused on problems to solve. You can't solve boss's problems but you are accountable to her/him. If he/she is really forgetful, then create a written track record, create a project charter, and check for feedback. Are you giving your boss updates that come at the end of six paragraphs of overthinking or over information? Are you constantly timely or are you being reminded because you forget your own deadlines enough that boss associates you with someone who needs constant prompting? Are you making your boss double up on your work? If none of the above applies and you're just a seriously mistreated perfect cog in the wheel, then create a project charter that helps you manage up as needed. But I doubt that - your post suggests you've already quiet quit and are just looking for ways to shield yourself from the consequences of phoning it in on work you aren't committed to, to a boss who is over committed to the work.

Tell us more about how you're working to produce despite your boss's alleged chaos that you're "feeding into" and convince me that you're not just convinced you could do this boring, dislikable role better than he/her is, and yeah, sorry, you are just feeling sorry for yourself and likely bringing your colleagues and boss down as well.

I don’t think your response has anything to do with me, but some projecting from a situation in your own life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to focus your energy on getting a new job.

Basically, get a B or do the required work, but aim to get interviews and work on how many you can get each week.

Thanks. I really don’t want to find another role, but I it’s probably a good idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this post real? You don't like the work, don't like the boss, find the work boring, and want mental strategies for coping with the boss? Who you think is both chaotic and also overly focused on delivering?

Um... I see you're looking for another role, so "check" but you seem to hate work so much that you're accepting payment for something you're not very engaged in, and actively hostile to. Before asking how to "cope mentally," maybe you should examine your own contributing role in this? Clearly if you're posting here at 10AM during work hours, you're not so consumed by all this you can't waste your employers time (same as we are all doing here except shift workers, but let's call a spade a spade). Try taking your personal dislike of this person out of it and focused on problems to solve. You can't solve boss's problems but you are accountable to her/him. If he/she is really forgetful, then create a written track record, create a project charter, and check for feedback. Are you giving your boss updates that come at the end of six paragraphs of overthinking or over information? Are you constantly timely or are you being reminded because you forget your own deadlines enough that boss associates you with someone who needs constant prompting? Are you making your boss double up on your work? If none of the above applies and you're just a seriously mistreated perfect cog in the wheel, then create a project charter that helps you manage up as needed. But I doubt that - your post suggests you've already quiet quit and are just looking for ways to shield yourself from the consequences of phoning it in on work you aren't committed to, to a boss who is over committed to the work.

Tell us more about how you're working to produce despite your boss's alleged chaos that you're "feeding into" and convince me that you're not just convinced you could do this boring, dislikable role better than he/her is, and yeah, sorry, you are just feeling sorry for yourself and likely bringing your colleagues and boss down as well.

I don’t think your response has anything to do with me, but some projecting from a situation in your own life.

Your post has everything but accountability. It may be that you’re completely right but nothing in it shows what you’ve done about it. All it is is a slam on your boss, which is one sided, and a huge dose of self pity. Maybe your job sucks. Talk to boss and try to fix it. Or move on. You’ll serve yourself well by controlling the one thing you can control in this situation, which is the way you respond to and engage with your work environment and your contributions within same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi! I’ve been at my job for over a year. I don’t like the work, but for the most part have liked the team. The boss I now have is just a total mismatch of my work style. The job is now still boring, but also stressful for no reason.

I just can’t stand the way they manage. Very unorganized, frantic, anxiety ridden, and eager to please upper management. They do things like press for a deliverable, receive it quickly, be told about it in a team meeting, get a reminder message, be told in another team meeting a week later, and then demand its delivery as if it were never sent. There is constant fear of looking bad, and anticipation of looking bad, if they are not the only one delivering every message. I basically am feeding on the nervous energy. Plus, the work itself is still not awesome. I’m looking for another role but in the meantime, how do I let myself mentally ignore the chaos and panic without losing focus? Any coping strategies people have successfully used?

I could have written this word for word. Currently looking for another job.