Household finance question

[Anonymous]

If you are the one to handle your household’s finances (do taxes, pay bills, manage accounts), how do you communicate or share information with your spouse? I know many couples jointly handle these tasks, but I’m only curious about communication when one spouse does. I’m looking for ways to improve our communication system. Thanks!

[Anonymous]

I handle investments, my spouse handles bills, we both have on-line and paper access to transaction and other associated records. If anything one of us deems significant comes up within our areas of responsibility, we usually email the other with details. The other can read the message at their leisure and can initiate further email or in-person discussion. With both of us having access to all records, if either of us wants to know anything in particular, we can look it up for ourselves or can just ask the other.

[Anonymous]

I handle everything. DW doesn't want to know and I don't burden her with details unless she asks.

[Anonymous]

DH handles everything but I have a list of all the accounts and logins if needed. He’s also a bit of a nerd so he has a complex spreadsheet he updates quarterly that tracks the balances in all of our various accounts and the remaining balances on our mortgage and student loans, etc.

So I can look at whatever I want but rarely do.

[Anonymous]

I handle everything. I just tell DH what is going on (taxes are done, renewed the CD etc). We discuss investments that are not routine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I handle everything. I just tell DH what is going on (taxes are done, renewed the CD etc). We discuss investments that are not routine.

This. We also meet 1x per year for a big overview of where we’re at and calibrate our family goals over the next 3, 10, 20 years.

[Anonymous]

My husband handles the investments and he just tells me what's done. I usually do the taxes and every day but much is set on autopay. We don't really discuss it that much as there is not much to discuss. If I want a huge purchase I am on the fence about (usually something for me) I might tell him but he'd say buy it.

[Anonymous]

Dh does almost everything. He does all the accounts once a month and puts into a spreadheed. I come and we look over it. Bills are autopay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I handle everything. I just tell DH what is going on (taxes are done, renewed the CD etc). We discuss investments that are not routine.

And do you tell him verbally or via email?

[Anonymous]

I handle everything and make the decisions on how much we spend on vacations, houses, toys, stuff for kids (even tutoring and services). I never spend more than we have. Our taxes are always paid. We have a nice life. And that’s in part because I manage the money.

I have everything on autopay which I review once a year. We’ve had some big medical bills for mental health care for one of our kids and I made all of the decisions about what our kid would get and how we would pay for it. That was probably the closest we ever came to a discussion on money but I shut it down because I knew we would never be able to live with ourselves if we prioritized anything over that.

Takes a lot of trust to live this way but it’s worked for us for over 30 years. If it matters, I’m the wife and we’ve both worked throughout the marriage bringing in about the same money if you consider the life of the relationship - sometimes one made more than the other but over time it evened out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I handle everything and make the decisions on how much we spend on vacations, houses, toys, stuff for kids (even tutoring and services). I never spend more than we have. Our taxes are always paid. We have a nice life. And that’s in part because I manage the money.

I have everything on autopay which I review once a year. We’ve had some big medical bills for mental health care for one of our kids and I made all of the decisions about what our kid would get and how we would pay for it. That was probably the closest we ever came to a discussion on money but I shut it down because I knew we would never be able to live with ourselves if we prioritized anything over that.

Takes a lot of trust to live this way but it’s worked for us for over 30 years. If it matters, I’m the wife and we’ve both worked throughout the marriage bringing in about the same money if you consider the life of the relationship - sometimes one made more than the other but over time it evened out.

I handle everything but this is something I don't do. I always let my DW know before I do something family/household related.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I handle everything and make the decisions on how much we spend on vacations, houses, toys, stuff for kids (even tutoring and services). I never spend more than we have. Our taxes are always paid. We have a nice life. And that’s in part because I manage the money.

I have everything on autopay which I review once a year. We’ve had some big medical bills for mental health care for one of our kids and I made all of the decisions about what our kid would get and how we would pay for it. That was probably the closest we ever came to a discussion on money but I shut it down because I knew we would never be able to live with ourselves if we prioritized anything over that.

Takes a lot of trust to live this way but it’s worked for us for over 30 years. If it matters, I’m the wife and we’ve both worked throughout the marriage bringing in about the same money if you consider the life of the relationship - sometimes one made more than the other but over time it evened out.

I handle everything but this is something I don't do. I always let my DW know before I do something family/household related.

I don’t decide what we do (except for healthcare and kids’ needs, which probably says a lot about our household management). I just decide how much we can spend.

Also for communication, we don’t spend a lot of time talking about finances. When I do the taxes, i mention that I did it and how much were getting back. Every now and then I might mention what we have in savings or how many more mortgage payments we have. But we’re both on the accounts so the information is there and doesn’t require a declaration from me.

[Anonymous]

I handle everything and DH and I sit down and have a monthly roundup.

[Anonymous]

I handle everything - where to invest, how much to invest, paying the bills, doing our taxes, making 529 withdrawals, - everything. My husband has no interest in it, and I when I try to involve him, he only half listens. He makes the money, and I manage it. I am currently a SAHM, but I was a finance major and love spreadsheets.

[Anonymous]

I (DW) handle all the finances--taxes, investments, bills. I do worry about what would happen if I became disabled or died because it's all a little complex. I meet with DH to discuss our goals, but I don't know how much the mechanics of accounts/investments/etc. sinks in.