when to intervene MS school drama
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Anonymous
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i’ve just about had it w the kids in my DDs 8th grade class. so much drama of kids running to the principals office for perceived injustices. the latest is one kid has decided to play the game telephone w her new friend (essentially making up awful stories that the kids are making fun of her friend behind her back). normally this wouldn’t bother me bc it’s stupid teen and mean girl behavior but it is consuming my kids’ life at school and i feel the administration has created a culture to encourage running to them when they feel slighted. tipping point today came when my daughter was pulled out of class by other girl who said she called her a disabled person (i won’t name the disorder bc it’s rude). the girl did this bc another person wouldn’t fess up to what she was told by another person so she threatened to tell on my daughter if the other didn’t fess up.
this is not normal in my view and has to stop. i’m not saying my kid is innocent, i’m sure she has done things to annoy the other girls but these kids are in 8yh grade and it’s just disgusting the admin is fueling such they said drama without proof. i’m sick of hearing the complaining and it taking over her life and feel i just need to say something to the administration because she won’t. PS the run to the administration girl is changing schools next year so really it’s just 2 more months but i feel the administration needs to address the toxicity of the class |
Anonymous
| I don't understand all of what you wrote, but...maybe your kid is mean and should be told on. If she was a good kid, you wouldn't have to worry. |
Anonymous
| What is the administration doing that you find problematic? What do you want them to do? |
Anonymous
| You are way too involved in your child’s drama. At this age they are learning social and relationship skills. |
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
+1 Plenty of opportunities here to learn that actions have consequences. None of this is earth-shattering stuff, but it might help these kids be more mindful in future when the stakes are higher. |
Anonymous
| If this girl is accusing multiple kids of picking on her every day but no one finds evidence to back her up after investigating as you describe than I don’t see much of a risk to your daughter or anyone else. While this kid may be abusing the policy it doesn’t mean it’s a bad one in practice that might be very necessary for other kids. |
Anonymous
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These are the words I got out of your post:
"my DD" "so much drama" "injustices" "awful" "mean girl behavior" "my kid" "this is not normal...and has to stop" "i'm sure she has done things to annoy the other girls" "it's just disgusting" "toxicity" Maybe the problem is your kid? And maybe you're the person who can make a difference? |
Anonymous
A) Read 'Untangled'.... but to give you the highlights - don't get involved other than to tell her that you are certain shes going to find a way to sort things out. |
Anonymous
| No…this isn’t happening at my DD’s middle school. That I know of. Administration is way too busy dealing with actual problems. Kids fighting (actually fighting- with fists and objects where EMS needs to be called), swearing at teachers, bringing drugs and vape stuff to school and doing stupid stuff with their phones. |
Anonymous
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Your DD needs RJ. It's the answer to all bad behavior.
/s |
Anonymous
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8th grade is peak mean girl behavior! I'm seeing it too with my own DD in 8th and sister in 6th. They have both been called really mean names, mocked for their physical features and excluded/ignored by former friends. All for seemingly no reason! I have had these kids over to my house, driven them places, bought them nice gifts, but sorry they are little b's. In some cases the moms seem nice but oblivious. I tried once to let moms know. They asked their daughters dud this happen, and of course the little b's denied it. Can't win!
Hoping hs is better. |
Anonymous
HS is not better |
Anonymous
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Some of this happened in our DD's school late last year and into the beginning of this year (8th now). There was one girl who was making stuff up that happened in and out of school and running to the counselor about it. I got a call about it once, and I wasn't happy about having to explain what was going on (that the girl was lying), but the administration eventually got tired of it and called it for what it was.
I would just tell your daughter to tell the admin that she had nothing to do with it, and that's all she wants to say. I'm sure she's not interested in ratting other people out, and I'm sure you're tired of her having to deal with this. It's stressful. |
Anonymous
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I don't have any advice. I am seeing this same behavior from a 9th grader who is trying to get my 10th grade daughter in trouble. The 9th grader is obsessive and my DD has had to block her because it is over the top. My DD eventually filed a bullying and harassment form. We are also keeping a log of all of the incidents and will continue to fill out the form as needed.
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