Pregnant with Second, First Kiddo is Five

[Anonymous]

Looking for stories/tips on how you told your (up until this point) only kiddo about a baby on the way?

I know there will be some big feelings and jealousy, particularly once baby actually arrives, but I’m not stressed about that. More curious how folks had fun telling your kid and then involving them in baby prep. Thanks!

[Anonymous]

I don’t have any particular advice to give, just want to say congratulations! My kids are 3 years apart and my daughter was super, super psyched to be a big sister. I think if you frame it like you need their help and for them to be a good big brother/sister to the new baby it helps a lot.

[Anonymous]

We have a 5.5 year age difference and it’s actually been great. We have two boys. I think the age difference is honestly hardest on me due to their different stages.

My oldest is at the age where leading tasks brings him great pride. He enjoys taking responsibility and doing things on his own but also “taking care” of his brother. This is done through getting him a pacifier when crying or grabbing extra diapers.

He also is very protective of his brother. If he’s crying he’ll come and get me and tell me.

I hope your experience is similar because I was very nervous but they obviously have quite a bond.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have a 5.5 year age difference and it’s actually been great. We have two boys. I think the age difference is honestly hardest on me due to their different stages.

My oldest is at the age where leading tasks brings him great pride. He enjoys taking responsibility and doing things on his own but also “taking care” of his brother. This is done through getting him a pacifier when crying or grabbing extra diapers.

He also is very protective of his brother. If he’s crying he’ll come and get me and tell me.

I hope your experience is similar because I was very nervous but they obviously have quite a bond.

I’m an idiot and read your post wrong.

We told him at dinner one night. And then when we found out the gender we let him cut a cupcake with the blue inside. It was just us three and he thought he was “breaking news” to us. He loved that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have a 5.5 year age difference and it’s actually been great. We have two boys. I think the age difference is honestly hardest on me due to their different stages.

My oldest is at the age where leading tasks brings him great pride. He enjoys taking responsibility and doing things on his own but also “taking care” of his brother. This is done through getting him a pacifier when crying or grabbing extra diapers.

He also is very protective of his brother. If he’s crying he’ll come and get me and tell me.

I hope your experience is similar because I was very nervous but they obviously have quite a bond.

I’m an idiot and read your post wrong.

We told him at dinner one night. And then when we found out the gender we let him cut a cupcake with the blue inside. It was just us three and he thought he was “breaking news” to us. He loved that.

Both were super helpful, thank you!

[Anonymous]

My two boys are 5.5 years apart and it worked out perfectly. No jealousy from my older son- he adored his baby brother and was super helpful.
Now that they are 5 and 10, they don't play together as much as the older one is off with his friends more, but they are still close.
Congrats!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t have any particular advice to give, just want to say congratulations! My kids are 3 years apart and my daughter was super, super psyched to be a big sister. I think if you frame it like you need their help and for them to be a good big brother/sister to the new baby it helps a lot.

That’s what I’m hoping! I’m an only child and, from my earliest memories, HATED the idea of a brother or sister…but my daughter has been asking where hers is since she could talk.

Hopefully that’ll help. Though…hopefully she won’t be bummed when she realizes having a little sibling doesn’t automatically translate into her being Elsa and the baby being Anna.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have a 5.5 year age difference and it’s actually been great. We have two boys. I think the age difference is honestly hardest on me due to their different stages.

My oldest is at the age where leading tasks brings him great pride. He enjoys taking responsibility and doing things on his own but also “taking care” of his brother. This is done through getting him a pacifier when crying or grabbing extra diapers.

He also is very protective of his brother. If he’s crying he’ll come and get me and tell me.

I hope your experience is similar because I was very nervous but they obviously have quite a bond.

I’m an idiot and read your post wrong.

We told him at dinner one night. And then when we found out the gender we let him cut a cupcake with the blue inside. It was just us three and he thought he was “breaking news” to us. He loved that.

We gave my oldest a cake that revealed the baby’s gender and said she was going to be a big sister. We did the same for my two oldest when we were expecting our third.

[Anonymous]

We have a 5 year age gap. We told DC1 casually and he read my pregnancy book, because by then he could read. It's been great. No rivalry, no jealousy, great sharing of toys when appropriate, easy portability of second child to first child's activities, and now they're teens, the first child attends the second child's important events and supports them. Nothing but good things, OP!

I just miscarried a baby. There would have been 17 years of difference between my oldest and my youngest. Now that's a large age gap!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t have any particular advice to give, just want to say congratulations! My kids are 3 years apart and my daughter was super, super psyched to be a big sister. I think if you frame it like you need their help and for them to be a good big brother/sister to the new baby it helps a lot.

That’s what I’m hoping! I’m an only child and, from my earliest memories, HATED the idea of a brother or sister…but my daughter has been asking where hers is since she could talk.

Hopefully that’ll help. Though…hopefully she won’t be bummed when she realizes having a little sibling doesn’t automatically translate into her being Elsa and the baby being Anna.

Well there you go! She’s going to love being a big sister 😊

[Anonymous]

My 2 DDs are 4.5 years apart. They are now 7 and nearly 3yo. Older DD had been asking for a sister since she was old enough to know what that meant, and she was super excited. We told her once the anatomy scan came back clear, just after she turned 4. We bought her a big sister book and read it at bedtime that night.
We made an effort to involve her in everything we could. She helped paint the nursery, she made decorations to hang on the walls, she helped me fill drawers in baby sister’s dresser and changing table, that kind of thing. Younger DD was born right at the start of the pandemic shutdowns, so older DD ended up out of daycare and home with me and baby sister for far longer than we had planned, and she loved feeling like she was my big helper! DH and I both made an effort to have one-on-one time with older DD as often as we could in those early days, too.
I’ve been really surprised that we haven’t had to deal with jealousy issues. I was so prepared for that, but older DD adores her little sister, and the feeling is mutual. They are each other’s favorite person. Hopefully, that lasts!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Looking for stories/tips on how you told your (up until this point) only kiddo about a baby on the way?

I know there will be some big feelings and jealousy, particularly once baby actually arrives, but I’m not stressed about that. More curious how folks had fun telling your kid and then involving them in baby prep. Thanks!

Just remember that what is a "fun" reveal for you might not feel fun for the child, who has a major transition ahead. Of course the older child will adjust, and most likely they'll end up loving their little sibling immensely. But they might not initially be excited in the same way you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have a 5 year age gap. We told DC1 casually and he read my pregnancy book, because by then he could read. It's been great. No rivalry, no jealousy, great sharing of toys when appropriate, easy portability of second child to first child's activities, and now they're teens, the first child attends the second child's important events and supports them. Nothing but good things, OP!

I just miscarried a baby. There would have been 17 years of difference between my oldest and my youngest. Now that's a large age gap!

Thank you! And hope you’re doing OK.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Looking for stories/tips on how you told your (up until this point) only kiddo about a baby on the way?

I know there will be some big feelings and jealousy, particularly once baby actually arrives, but I’m not stressed about that. More curious how folks had fun telling your kid and then involving them in baby prep. Thanks!

Just remember that what is a "fun" reveal for you might not feel fun for the child, who has a major transition ahead. Of course the older child will adjust, and most likely they'll end up loving their little sibling immensely. But they might not initially be excited in the same way you are.

Totally! Figure still worth a good try

[Anonymous]

I have no idea how they told my brother 6 years older about me. We fought like cats and dogs as kids but he is the brother with whom I’m closest as adults.

But don’t do what my mom did when she told me about my new sibling to be when i was 8. Mind you, I have 3 older brothers (the 6 years older I just mentioned plus one who is 10 years older and another who is 11 years older). Both my mom and I wanted a girl, but she did not find out the gender. Instead, she felt like like she was having a girl and assured me my sister was on her way. Did not tell me this was just a guess. Imagine my disappointment when my little brother arrived. He’s in his 40s and I still haven’t quite forgiven him!