IEP meeting without me-what happens?

[Anonymous]

My kid’s school sent me a date and time and said to respond if I could make it. I have a huge presentation for work that day which I tried to get out of but could not so I asked for any different day. The school said they are going to meet without me then they will meet with me another time to go over the IEP.

Is this normal procedure? I’ve been going to IEP meetings for years and have never encountered not having at least one alternate date.

[Anonymous]

You need to give permission for them to proceed. Tell them they don't have permission to proceed and you want a new date.

If you do give permission, they should still send you a draft IEP, so you'll have an idea if any big changes are coming, or if there are new concerns you didn't know about. They'll update the IEP without you, and when you get the final one if you disagree with something you can request another meeting. Or a more informal meeting/phonecall - just because it's on paper it's not set in stone. They can write an amendment at any time to change something.

[Anonymous]

Also, I think if you flat out no-show 2-3 times THAT automatically gives them permission to proceed. But in your case they offered you one inconvenient time - they don't automatically get to proceed because of that.

[Anonymous]

I would tell them they are not allowed to have a formal IEP meeting without you AND your representatives available.

Representative first and foremost being the advocate or lawyer, then the rest of your treatment team if you have one.

Bottom line they’ll probably try to $&@! you over if you aren’t there with someone that understands federal IEP law.

[Anonymous]

That has never happened to me and I would be extremely uncomfortable. Agree with PP that you need to let them know you don’t give permission. Offer alternatives.

[Anonymous]

They must reschedule if you are not available that day and want to attend. Period.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They must reschedule if you are not available that day and want to attend. Period.

Not period. If a parent repeatedly refused offered dates, they can document and proceed without the parent.

[Anonymous]

This has to be MCPS. I would kick and scream and ask for a new day. These meetings are kabuki dances (very hard to get a savvy lawsuit fearing but wise fat, happy and lazy bureaucracy to do much of anything for your kid). But….this is the place where if your child is struggling YOU can get input to give to YOUR tutor or YOUR counselor. Also if you are a trust fund baby and you go to these each year until the child is 12 you can sue and possibly get reimbursed for failure to give the child a chance to ‘access the curriculum’. Granted, MCPS has local judges in their pocket so you have better shot at getting hit with Mars dust. However, this meeting starts that clock.

[Anonymous]

I would tell them to reschedule. You are putting yourself in a much better position to advocate for your child if you go into the IEP meeting ready to go with good records, data, assessment information (internal from school and anything external like neuropsych eval that you might feel is relevant), teacher comments or emails printed, a portfolio of your child’s work with strengths and deficits already identified, questions and concerns, potential goals or changes to the IEP draft already discussed with your advocate, your own IEP goal writer to help make changes in real time during the meeting to fit your child and their needs and ensure they are data-based goals that can easily be changed as the child progresses, any home based or external service providers that know your child well and can support you in the process, and any additional family or just a friend for moral support. It sounds like a lot but if you go in ready to advocate you will be more focused on writing good goals to get the best possible supports that your child needs.

[Anonymous]

They are required to have to IEP by a certain date annually by law. They must have reached that date. Don't worry about it. The meeting without you is just on paper no decisions will be made. The real meeting will happen when you attend.

[Anonymous]

But this does seem odd, that you aren't being given an alternative date to meet. Call the school/ sped coordinator and find out what's going on.

[Anonymous]

you should be able to participate in the meeting, i would not be comfortable having a meeting without me as a parent. Reach out to provide alternate dates that you are available for this meeting. also, respond in writing that you do not agree with the team meeting without you.

[Anonymous]

They need to meet to document by a certain date. They will present you with an IEP after a meet again. This is a draft until you sign and agree. So no decisions are actually being made without you. If you disagree with anything, they can always reconvene later.

The exception is if you don’t respond or are a no show. After a certain number of times they can hold the meeting without you. That’s not the case here.

This is not something to worry about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They are required to have to IEP by a certain date annually by law. They must have reached that date. Don't worry about it. The meeting without you is just on paper no decisions will be made. The real meeting will happen when you attend.

They are also required to accommodate the parents' schedule. One requirement isn't more important than the other.

I would not want this to happen either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They need to meet to document by a certain date. They will present you with an IEP after a meet again. This is a draft until you sign and agree. So no decisions are actually being made without you. If you disagree with anything, they can always reconvene later.

The exception is if you don’t respond or are a no show. After a certain number of times they can hold the meeting without you. That’s not the case here.

This is not something to worry about.

No way. The school's failure to plan ahead so that they could offer multiple dates without missing their deadline is not justification for meeting without the parent. This is blatantly illegal and I would consider filing a state complaint.