TTC at 42 Secondary Infertility and Odds

[Anonymous]

I’ve been reading and going through this page and the infertility page. We have 2 kids, and have been trying for 3years to conceive baby 3. The number of kids I always hoped we’d have. While we had no issues with the first two pregnancies, in the last 3 years I’ve had a 2 first trimester miscarriages for unexplained reasons, one at 7-8 weeks and one at 10wks. And one miscarriage at 15wks that we know was for chromosome issues. Going into this process, given that we already have children, we made a deal with ourselves to not pursue IVF. After this most recent loss, I’m not sure if we should continue trying at all, given my age. On the one hand I could double down on healthy eating and exercise and supplements, no real downside to that…but on the other I wonder if I am just prolonging the inevitable of my eggs are just too old and perhaps more heartbreak of RPL. Of course, when I start reading about IVF and selecting embryos, I have a little bit of “oh…does not doing that mean I’m not really committed?” I really don’t think DH would be open to that route at this point, and our financial resources, while solid feel better investing that money and energy into the family we already have.

Anyone else in a similar boat and deciding to keep going or not?

[Anonymous]

Adding in, all my lab work is otherwise in normal conception range.

[Anonymous]

At 42 the most obvious answer is that your eggs are old. So, you may get lucky and get pregnant naturally and have a healthy baby or you may have more miscarriages or get pregnant and then find out there are chromosomal abnormalities. Of course that can happen at any age as well. IVF allows you to sceeen embryos before you implant them to give a higher chance of success for a healthy baby. It’s so hard to say either way what the odds are without speaking with a specialist but I assume they would guide you towards ivf if you wanted a baby. If you have been actively trying for 3 years and haven’t had success you probably need intervention if you want a baby. I’d consult an RE.

[Anonymous]

After 35 you should have sought interventions at 6 mo. Of trying. Not that you can change that now, but posting for others that may be reading this forum. Trying to fix an issue at 39 is easier than 42. At your age I would grieve the thought of a third and focus on the two healthy children you have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After 35 you should have sought interventions at 6 mo. Of trying. Not that you can change that now, but posting for others that may be reading this forum. Trying to fix an issue at 39 is easier than 42. At your age I would grieve the thought of a third and focus on the two healthy children you have.

Did you read the post? She's been pregnant 3 times in the past 3 years.

OP, I will be honest, I would stop. If you aren't open to doing IVF/genetic testing, it seems like you are playing with fire here. If you get a fetus healthy enough to get to the 20 week scan and things look bad, then what? I think I'd step away and focus on the 2 children I have. 3 losses, especially a 15 week loss, is really hard, I am so sorry. But I suspect the genetic issues aren't something you just get over. You don't have a problem getting pregnant, you have an issue getting pregnant with a healthy fetus. Only IVF with genetic testing can help you through that.

[Anonymous]

Kindly, your body is telling you you’re too old. At 42 you may have the hormones to sustain a pregnancy, but not the healthy eggs to establish a viable pregnancy. My sympathies, I was in your shoes except much younger and with “only” one child. Sometimes life doesn’t work out exactly the way you plan. That’s okay and Plan B can be just as good if you let it be.

[Anonymous]

I'm in the same situation, OP. I think perhaps I'll try one more time and see. My OB basically told me it's a lottery at this point: I have to hit the right egg.

[Anonymous]

At 42 with 2 kids, I would only pursue national options for pregnancy at this point. I’m 39 with 1 child. Had an ectopic a year ago (same age). I’m currently taking Wisdom of the Womb teas and doing acupuncture and castor oil massages. Not particularly open to IVF. I know that there are herbal teas for women with RPL.

Lifestyle and nutrition choices matter more and more as we age. I think you should change what you can. At most, you will know that you gave it your best shot.

[Anonymous]

Thanks PP. I agree, that as coping mechanisms go…eating well and taking supplements doesn’t seem terrible for just seeing what could be.