PSA don't be clueless

[Anonymous]

My ACs are at the age where they are being asked to be wedding party members. The expenses that are expected for them to cover are just way more than is appropriate, IMO. Throwing showers, bachelor parties, $300/night over multiple nights, because the weddings now last for at least 3 days. You shouldn't assume it's all okay. Okay?

[Anonymous]

What is an AC?

[Anonymous]

AC is Adult Child. Mama Bear wants to remind other adults to not do something that her own adult children can't speak up about.

[Anonymous]

PSA there is a forum called ADULT CHILDREN and you should avail yourself of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:AC is Adult Child. Mama Bear wants to remind other adults to not do something that her own adult children can't speak up about.

It’s because the kids can’t afford it and they’re asking OP to foot the bill, I’m guessing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is an AC?

Adult childs

[Anonymous]

Are the moms inviting them to be in these wedding parties or their own friends? If the latter, then you ACs should step up and say no thank you.

[Anonymous]

When I was the wise old age of 21, I knew how to say the following:

"I'm afraid I can't afford that."
"I love you and I'm so honored to be asked, but I can't afford to attend X and buy Y. I understand if that means I cannot be a bridesmaid."
"I'm sorry, I can't take off work those dates."
"I'm sorry, that's not in my budget."

What happened to your adult children that they can't speak up for themselves? Did you raise them to be hapless? Sounds like.

[Anonymous]

OP, you are completely correct about that, but I expect that your target audience of women in their 20s is not on DCUM. Maybe a mom of a 20-something bride will remind her AC of this, but maybe not.

[Anonymous]

I agree with you OP--parents should be teaching their kids from an early age not to be a greedy diva or to expect people to cater to their whims. If they want all the parties and crap, then they should foot the bill for them--otherwise throw the wedding you can afford. This mentality starts while the kids are young. Unpopular opinion, but I think big blow out birthday parties every year feeds into this line of thinking. Keep the birthdays low key or save the big parties for key years like double digits or becoming a teen etc and then the kids won't expect big parties to be thrown for them for every occasion later on.

[Anonymous]

This has nothing to do with you, OP. Let them handle it how they will. PSA: let your adult kids be adults.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:AC is Adult Child. Mama Bear wants to remind other adults to not do something that her own adult children can't speak up about.

It’s because the kids can’t afford it and they’re asking OP to foot the bill, I’m guessing.

Then OP has failed as a parent in teaching her kids how to say no

[Anonymous]

AC = Affair children?

[Anonymous]

What does this have to do with you? Are your adult children asking you for money to cover those expenses? Do your children not understand how to say "no" and set boundaries if they are asked to pay more than they can afford? They're adult. Let them handle it as they see fit. This doesn't concern you.

Someone is certainly clueless here....

[Anonymous]

No, my adult kids are not asking or expecting me to cover this BS. They are just venting. So, I am venting, and strongly suggesting that parents of the wedding couple, and especially the wedding couple, heed my plea, and just consider others' financials.
My adult kids accepted the position of Bride's Maid, Best Man, Maid of Honor, Groomsmen etc. not being aware that it is expected that they will have no qualms about shelling out upwards of $1000 per wedding. It's extremely inconsiderate.