15 year old getting testing for autism

[Anonymous]

Our 15 year son is getting tested for autism. We are going to pull him out of MCPS and want to enroll him in a small private school in MOCO or DC. He is in Honor's classes with straight A's (very bright), not many friends and now depressed and anxious. We have fought MCPS (a different child) in the past and are not bothering this time around. We know how they operate and it's useless.

Please share your knowledge on possible high schools that accept a HFA teenager, it would be for the social aspects and small classes not academic support.

Any other ideas for social skills groups or general knowledge is much appreciated. How do you all support your kids in the summer as well, in terms of groups?

Thanks so much!

[Anonymous]

Maybe try Nora School. Peers social skills groups as well.

[Anonymous]

Why is he depressed and anxious?

My ADHD/HFA son wouldn't make friends in any setting, and is "appropriately" stressed as a college-applying high schooler (you cannot go through high school and not be!), so we never moved him from MCPS. He's graduating this year, with a 504, after spending K-11 with an IEP. We didn't need to fight MCPS for anything - just got the neuropsych at Stixrud's and received various services and accommodations, that now have dwindled to extended time, since this is all that the school can give him. School cannot magic him a desire to start and maintain friendships, or make him magically attentive or tuned in socially. We tried social skills groups at Alvord and Baker's, when he was younger, to no avail. So essentially he's just his introverted self all the time. It's fine.

[Anonymous]

My DD was diagnosed at 14. She is in a mainstream private with smaller classes that is more accepting of quirky kids. Because your son is being diagnosed this late, I assume he also could do well at a mainstream private known for quirky kids. Burke and Field are two that could work. We know students on the spectrum at Good Counsel’s Ryken Studies Program and GW Community School. St. John’s Benilde Program is also mentioned with Ryken on this board.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe try Nora School. Peers social skills groups as well.

I wouldn't do the Nora school. They don't have any experience in helping kids with Autism. Teachers are mixed, some good and some not so good. I would stay in the public school particularly if they are doing well

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD was diagnosed at 14. She is in a mainstream private with smaller classes that is more accepting of quirky kids. Because your son is being diagnosed this late, I assume he also could do well at a mainstream private known for quirky kids. Burke and Field are two that could work. We know students on the spectrum at Good Counsel’s Ryken Studies Program and GW Community School. St. John’s Benilde Program is also mentioned with Ryken on this board.

My dd with Autism applied to St. John's Benilde program but, the admissions person said it would not be a good fit. Have you tried PEERS with Dr. David Black? That is the one social program that made an impact. It didn't transform her to being neurotypical but, she can do a lot of things that she couldn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD was diagnosed at 14. She is in a mainstream private with smaller classes that is more accepting of quirky kids. Because your son is being diagnosed this late, I assume he also could do well at a mainstream private known for quirky kids. Burke and Field are two that could work. We know students on the spectrum at Good Counsel’s Ryken Studies Program and GW Community School. St. John’s Benilde Program is also mentioned with Ryken on this board.

My dd with Autism applied to St. John's Benilde program but, the admissions person said it would not be a good fit. Have you tried PEERS with Dr. David Black? That is the one social program that made an impact. It didn't transform her to being neurotypical but, she can do a lot of things that she couldn't.

+1 on PEERS with David Black

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe try Nora School. Peers social skills groups as well.

I wouldn't do the Nora school. They don't have any experience in helping kids with Autism. Teachers are mixed, some good and some not so good. I would stay in the public school particularly if they are doing well

My autistic child is at Nora and I disagree with this. First, he's not doing well if he's depressed and anxious, no matter his grades. My child at Nora has friends and likes going to school for the first time in years and that is my main priority. It is true that Nora teachers (like most private school teachers) aren't certified in special ed or anything else, but they certainly have experience teaching autistic students, since so many Nora students are autistic. Like at all schools, some teachers are better than others (the science instruction is particularly weak) but they understand anxiety better than any other school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD was diagnosed at 14. She is in a mainstream private with smaller classes that is more accepting of quirky kids. Because your son is being diagnosed this late, I assume he also could do well at a mainstream private known for quirky kids. Burke and Field are two that could work. We know students on the spectrum at Good Counsel’s Ryken Studies Program and GW Community School. St. John’s Benilde Program is also mentioned with Ryken on this board.

My dd with Autism applied to St. John's Benilde program but, the admissions person said it would not be a good fit. Have you tried PEERS with Dr. David Black? That is the one social program that made an impact. It didn't transform her to being neurotypical but, she can do a lot of things that she couldn't.

We had a similar experience with PEERs with Dr. Black.

[Anonymous]

Our 15 year old HFA teenager is in a large FCPS high school. The school only helps with academic support and not social skills (he also ADHD and anxiety).

Here’s what has worked for us. 8th and 9th grade he was depressed and isolated with no friends and very lonely. It was very sad to watch.

We really focused on social skills. We hired a private social skills coach and had him take a social skills PEERs training class. Then he picked activities to join at school and rec leagues. He was able to use his social skills training to make friends. Social skills coach helps him with guidance on how to handle different social situations.

Being in a large school was good because there is such a wide variety of kids that he was able to find his people. I think a small private school would make it much harder for your DS.

He now has 4-5 friends to text with, eat lunch with and occasionally do something on the weekends.

Please try PEERS before you switch schools. I was shocked how much DS didn’t know about basic social skills. The training and social skills coach has been life changing. Honestly I think he’ll need this for the rest of his life as he transitions into new situations (college, job or anything new)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our 15 year old HFA teenager is in a large FCPS high school. The school only helps with academic support and not social skills (he also ADHD and anxiety).

Here’s what has worked for us. 8th and 9th grade he was depressed and isolated with no friends and very lonely. It was very sad to watch.

We really focused on social skills. We hired a private social skills coach and had him take a social skills PEERs training class. Then he picked activities to join at school and rec leagues. He was able to use his social skills training to make friends. Social skills coach helps him with guidance on how to handle different social situations.

Being in a large school was good because there is such a wide variety of kids that he was able to find his people. I think a small private school would make it much harder for your DS.

He now has 4-5 friends to text with, eat lunch with and occasionally do something on the weekends.

Please try PEERS before you switch schools. I was shocked how much DS didn’t know about basic social skills. The training and social skills coach has been life changing. Honestly I think he’ll need this for the rest of his life as he transitions into new situations (college, job or anything new)

How did you find the social skills coach? Can you recommend yours? Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our 15 year old HFA teenager is in a large FCPS high school. The school only helps with academic support and not social skills (he also ADHD and anxiety).

Here’s what has worked for us. 8th and 9th grade he was depressed and isolated with no friends and very lonely. It was very sad to watch.

We really focused on social skills. We hired a private social skills coach and had him take a social skills PEERs training class. Then he picked activities to join at school and rec leagues. He was able to use his social skills training to make friends. Social skills coach helps him with guidance on how to handle different social situations.

Being in a large school was good because there is such a wide variety of kids that he was able to find his people. I think a small private school would make it much harder for your DS.

He now has 4-5 friends to text with, eat lunch with and occasionally do something on the weekends.

Please try PEERS before you switch schools. I was shocked how much DS didn’t know about basic social skills. The training and social skills coach has been life changing. Honestly I think he’ll need this for the rest of his life as he transitions into new situations (college, job or anything new)

How did you find the social skills coach? Can you recommend yours? Thanks!

We used Social Grace LLC in Arlington.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe try Nora School. Peers social skills groups as well.

I wouldn't do the Nora school. They don't have any experience in helping kids with Autism. Teachers are mixed, some good and some not so good. I would stay in the public school particularly if they are doing well

My autistic child is at Nora and I disagree with this. First, he's not doing well if he's depressed and anxious, no matter his grades. My child at Nora has friends and likes going to school for the first time in years and that is my main priority. It is true that Nora teachers (like most private school teachers) aren't certified in special ed or anything else, but they certainly have experience teaching autistic students, since so many Nora students are autistic. Like at all schools, some teachers are better than others (the science instruction is particularly weak) but they understand anxiety better than any other school.

This was our Nora ASD experience as well. While it wasn’t perfect in all regards and there is a GREAT deal of variability among the teaching and admin team, the social environment was welcoming enough to let our ASD DC find their own group of friends and the learning environment was flexible enough that they did not dread being in class. Nora is one of those schools that even when not quite the perfect fit it can still be just right enough. I have heard there are ASD focused boarding schools with remarkable academically and developmentally appropriate resources, but I have to believe they come with a long waitlist and hefty price tag. I share the love for all working with ASD, its not an easy balance but parenting an ASD child does get better in time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our 15 year old HFA teenager is in a large FCPS high school. The school only helps with academic support and not social skills (he also ADHD and anxiety).

Here’s what has worked for us. 8th and 9th grade he was depressed and isolated with no friends and very lonely. It was very sad to watch.

We really focused on social skills. We hired a private social skills coach and had him take a social skills PEERs training class. Then he picked activities to join at school and rec leagues. He was able to use his social skills training to make friends. Social skills coach helps him with guidance on how to handle different social situations.

Being in a large school was good because there is such a wide variety of kids that he was able to find his people. I think a small private school would make it much harder for your DS.

He now has 4-5 friends to text with, eat lunch with and occasionally do something on the weekends.

Please try PEERS before you switch schools. I was shocked how much DS didn’t know about basic social skills. The training and social skills coach has been life changing. Honestly I think he’ll need this for the rest of his life as he transitions into new situations (college, job or anything new)

How did you find the social skills coach? Can you recommend yours? Thanks!

Our DC didn’t do well in a PEERS group. We found a practice and therapist that is trained in PEERS and could work individually with our DC. It worked well.

[Anonymous]

We had a horrible experience doing intake for Black's Peers program. My DC was condescended to and shamed by the woman who did the intake who repeatedly asked DC to look into the camera and questioned dc's motivation when dc could not articulate a goal. DC left the meeting in tears, shaking. Not exactly appropriate when dealing with an autistic kid. I think it was Black's wife who did the intake. So..take note the program might be great but you need to get over the unprofessional intake..