Do you think activities for 3-4 year olds are worth it or is it better to just do playdates?

[Anonymous]

I'm wondering how much 3-4 year olds actually get out of a gymnastics or soccer class once a week? Do you need to stick with the same activity for it to be beneficial? Or does none of this matter will they just pick it up when they are a little older?

[Anonymous]

I think it's good for an older 3 or 4 yo to get used to listening to people other than their parents. If they're in daycare 50 hours a week, then there's no need for more. If they have a SAHP or are watched by grandparents or a nanny, then it's good to practice being part of a group and listening to other, less familiar adults.

[Anonymous]

We did activities just to get out of the house and burn some energy, especially in winter. If you have really frequent playdates maybe you don't need that.

When you read about Olympic athletes and amazing musicians, you often read that they started at 3 or 5. But even if you think you can do that in an ethical way (still letting kids be kids) nobody knows what your kid will stick with. I wouldn't worry about it. Or, if I was going to put the effort in, I'd pick a language for them to learn.

[Anonymous]

Playdates are really important to their socialization and really helps them pre-school wise. Especially one on one and in a smaller space where they need to take turns.

[Anonymous]

Depends on the kid, the family, the available activities, the opportunities for play dates.

Some kids don't do well in activities at that age. They can't listen, or don't want to, they don't know how to interact with other kids in that setting (they may be fine at preschool or on a playground, but not be able to understand how an organized activity calls for slightly different behavior). They might physically not be ready for the activity yet and need to work more on gross or fine motor skills. It might be an indoor activity when they need more outdoor time, or it's an outdoor activity and they are a kid who hates dirt, getting wet, or the feel of wind on their face.

My kid has done gymnastics and then dance since she was 3, and we added swimming when she was 4. We skipped soccer because she doesn't love running or big groups of kids and the chaos of preschool soccer just didn't seem like her thing. But she loves an organized indoor class where the teacher demonstrates and the kids copy -- she's also done yoga and that dynamic is really rewarding to her because it allows her. Plus swimming is a really important life skill.

She's also an only and Covid was a bit of a lonely time for her, which is a big part of what pushed us into activities as soon as we could.

So I think it's very much a case by case thing.

[Anonymous]

Waste of money. Just take them to the park.

[Anonymous]

We started our three kids in activities at that age because they're fun. It's fun to kick a ball around and jump on gymnastics equipment. We did playdates too, so it's not either/or. We also wanted to start the process of finding the things they liked to do, so by the time they were in late elementary they could build friendships and skills around that.

We hit on winners with 2 of them almost right away and they've been doing the same things ever since (gymnastics and dance). With the 3rd kid, it took some time and trying one new activity after another before she found something she wanted to spend her energy on.

In hindsight we could have waited to start with the first 2 kids but with the 3rd, we'd still be on sport #4 out of the 7 she ended up trying and now that she's in middle school, we're doubly glad she had the time to settle into her chosen sport so she could develop a group of friends on a team outside of school.

[Anonymous]

If child is home with a parent or nanny much of the day then I think it can be helpful to break things up. But for my kids who were in daycare/preschool mostly full days we skipped on activities at that age and really appreciate the more unstructured family time it gave us. At 5 we started exploring 1-2 activities here and there that kids expressed interest in.

[Anonymous]

If your kid enjoys it, it can be a fun experience. My daughter absolutely loved gymnastics and was always asking to do it so we had her take classes at age 4. The classes were very casual/laid back and I don't know how much the kids really learned but she had so much fun that it was worth it for us.

I wouldn't sign them up just to have something to do though. I'd only sign them up if they're really passionate about the activity/really wanting to do it. If it's solely for socialization reasons, play date/play groups are better for actually getting to know other kids.

[Anonymous]

If you find that a structured activity over the weekend helps you to plan your day, and you enjoy hanging out in that setting, then sure.

In retrospect, the activities were neither very beneficial or in any way detrimental. It was just a way to pass the time. We did an inexpensive neighborhood kiddo soccer, t-ball, and gymnastics (not all at once, but at various points). Some things my kids didn't want to do, even at age 3-4, and we didn't pressure them.

At that age, we found that the best activities were going to the train museum, the Smithsonians, or other organized kid-related activities in art/music. In DC there are plenty of options, but you have to be more motivated.

[Anonymous]

DD is 4. She started dance at age 2.5 and at 3 tried little kids seasonal sports (Tball, soccer, basketballl). At age 4 she is doing dance, gymnastics, swim lessons and seasonal soccer.

I think it so helpful to expose kids to different sports, activities, people, and settings when they are toddlers. It’s also good as it gets kids to learn to listen, follow directions, be a part of a group, and respect other kids and instructors/coaches. Of course the socializing is good and kids are also learning teamwork, taking turns, waiting and patience, encouraging others, trying hard things, cheering others on or up, being a good sport / gracious winner. And if in sports they are learning to move their bodies in different ways, develop better hand eye coordination, and a better sense of their own bodies. All activities also teach the importance of practicing for improvement.

My “pandemic child” who is also an only child and on the shy side is thriving in pre-K this year after never being inside a classroom or daycare setting. For me, the activities and sports exposure she had from age 2 is the reason she adapted so quickly. These activities helped her prepare to be classroom ready even when she had no actual school experience.

[Anonymous]

As a SAHM we do activities but more for structure/exercise/socialization than for whatever the actual skill is.

[Anonymous]

I think most of it is a waste of money. If YOU, the parent, think it would be fun to take your kid, meet other parents, etc, do it! But it's like decorating the nursery - it's for you, not for them. Nothing wrong with that, though.

Two possible exceptions:

1) Swimming. At some point, that's a safety issue, and I think if you wait too long (until age 5 or later) your kid may be scared to dunk his head, etc. So I think this can be helpful earlier as a foundation. We start around age 2, that's probably earlier than you need, at that point it's more for us (see above; my husband was a swimmer), just with one session in the winter. I would think by age 4, though this would be important for safety reasons.

2) Exposure to group care. Our kids have a nanny, so they're use to one on one/one on two attention. Our oldest starts PK3 in the fall, so we're planning to sign him up for a short soccer session this summer just so he's had some exposure to this before PK starts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think most of it is a waste of money. If YOU, the parent, think it would be fun to take your kid, meet other parents, etc, do it! But it's like decorating the nursery - it's for you, not for them. Nothing wrong with that, though.

Two possible exceptions:

1) Swimming. At some point, that's a safety issue, and I think if you wait too long (until age 5 or later) your kid may be scared to dunk his head, etc. So I think this can be helpful earlier as a foundation. We start around age 2, that's probably earlier than you need, at that point it's more for us (see above; my husband was a swimmer), just with one session in the winter. I would think by age 4, though this would be important for safety reasons.

2) Exposure to group care. Our kids have a nanny, so they're use to one on one/one on two attention. Our oldest starts PK3 in the fall, so we're planning to sign him up for a short soccer session this summer just so he's had some exposure to this before PK starts.

Yeah--ours had a little more exposure to other kids and settings because they were in nannyshares at another house (my two kids are too far apart to share a nanny with each other)--but I found group classes good for getting them used to being around a dozen other kids before they started Pre K.

[Anonymous]

My 4 yr old DD is in all day preschool, so doesn’t need extra socialization, but we do gymnastics and ballet on the weekends because they’re fun and she enjoys them. I don’t see any particular benefit beyond that. I wouldn’t do classes for socializing, if that’s what you’re looking for. The kids aren’t really interacting with each other a ton during group classes.