Help me solve childcare pickups / nanny share - is there a solution?

[Anonymous]

Okay...need some help solving childcare - need to sort it out now since preschool contracts are due in a month.

Next year I will have a first grader who takes the bus home and gets dropped at 3pm. I will also have a preschooler who could be picked up at 1pm, 3pm, or between 5-6pm. DH and I both work full-time so we need another person to be with DD6 after school regardless if DD2 is in preschool until 5pm.

We also have an upstairs neighbor (live in NYC) who will have her kids in the same two schools and who is happy to try and solve this together but she and her DH also work full-time....and I feel like there has to be a way to figure it out but I'm coming up short.

I guess the options are...

- Hire someone to pick up DD2 at 1pm, come home and be here when DD6 gets home

- Hire someone who gets both of the kids at preschool (us and neighbor) at 1pm and is home when both kids K and 1st grade get off the bus (seems like a lot for one person to have 4 kids + put the two preschoolers down for a nap and get them up before 3pm).

- Hire two people – one gets the preschool school kids at 3pm post-nap and brings them home where the other two kids are with another sitter who met the bus

- Hire someone to meet the bus with DD6 and hang with her until 6:00pm, DH and I pickup DD2 at preschool after 5pm

Any other options, ideas....VERY much appreciated.

Other logistics:
The earlier I pickup the preschooler, the less preschool costs
1pm preschool pickup means no nap at school, I sort of like a nap at school since it's usually more consistent than at home
Both the preschool and elementary schools are a solid 20-30 min walk for the apt. in opposite directions
Is it even feasible to find someone who would do any of the above scenarios since none are full-time work

[Anonymous]

How old are the preschoolers (my answer might be different between 2 and 4) and is the bus stop where the kids could get home without an adult taking them out? (e.g. parent works from home, so nanny could leave a sleeping child, or the bus stop is in front of building, adult in first floor apartment can walk to front door and wave to bus driver, vs. bus stop 4 blocks away where younger kids would need to be full awake, and put on coat and shoes and walk or ride in a stroller).

[Anonymous]

Why can’t a person get the 1st graders at 3 and then walk to get the preschoolers at say 430?

[Anonymous]

This sounds complex enough without adding another family to it. I'd figure out what you need for your family, assume max hours, and pay well.

[Anonymous]

IME, finding and keeping an after-school only sitter is hard. Where I am, there is more demand for after school sitters than there are sitters available, and there is a lot of turnover. If your work schedules are flexible, so that you can WFH while in between sitters, it’s probably doable.

I prefer reliability, so at those ages had my older child in an after school program that ran until 6 and my younger in full day daycare/preschool.

[Anonymous]

Share a sitter with your neighbor to meet the bus.

Keep your younger child in daycare until 5-6 and if you want to tag team with your neighbor for picking up the kids such that one family meets the baby sitter with the older kids and one family picks up the younger kids so that everyone is not constantly stressed and rushing - that could be a way to help each other out.

[Anonymous]

Since you need to pay for this anyway I wouldn’t factor in the other family, it gets too complicated, especially when you thrown in sick days etc

What I would recommend is having someone pick up your preschooler at 1pm and have time nap at home, keeping a preschooler at school until 5-6 pm is too long in my opinion. That person is there when your 1grader arrives, and stays home until you and DH get home from work

Introduce your nanny to upstairs childcare provider so that they can plan after school playdates and help each other out in a pinch

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This sounds complex enough without adding another family to it. I'd figure out what you need for your family, assume max hours, and pay well.

OP yeah I am beginning to think you're right. We just solve it for our family, and we can help out the other family in a pinch and vice versa when little things come up.

Do you think it's feasible to find someone who would work 1:00-6:00 PM 5x a week? Our current nanny is 8:45 AM - 5:45 PM, am I just going to end up having to pay someone for the unused morning hours? Full-time nanny + preschool will break our budget.

I guess I could wait on preschool but I'd like DD to start going around 2 and definitely before K so we'll be in this situation for the next few years regardless.

[Anonymous]

I'd do what's easiest for your family, which is keeping the current nanny for DD2 and have her pick up DD6 as well. No preschool.

We kept both our kids in their daycare until 5 and they went straight to K without preschool. They're doing well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd do what's easiest for your family, which is keeping the current nanny for DD2 and have her pick up DD6 as well. No preschool.

We kept both our kids in their daycare until 5 and they went straight to K without preschool. They're doing well.

There’s a big difference between daycare (which is essentially like preschool at older ages and nanny in terms of socialization and learning to deal with a structured educational environment.

Is an aupair an option? Cheaper than a full time nanny but able to do flex childcare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd do what's easiest for your family, which is keeping the current nanny for DD2 and have her pick up DD6 as well. No preschool.

We kept both our kids in their daycare until 5 and they went straight to K without preschool. They're doing well.

There’s a big difference between daycare (which is essentially like preschool at older ages and nanny in terms of socialization and learning to deal with a structured educational environment.

Is an aupair an option? Cheaper than a full time nanny but able to do flex childcare.

My first thought was having an au pair, but given that OP lives in NYC, not sure they have the space for it. However, if they have a spare bedroom, they'll have no shortage of good au pairs who'd want to match with them. NYC is one of the most coveted locations for APs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd do what's easiest for your family, which is keeping the current nanny for DD2 and have her pick up DD6 as well. No preschool.

We kept both our kids in their daycare until 5 and they went straight to K without preschool. They're doing well.

There’s a big difference between daycare (which is essentially like preschool at older ages and nanny in terms of socialization and learning to deal with a structured educational environment.

Is an aupair an option? Cheaper than a full time nanny but able to do flex childcare.

My first thought was having an au pair, but given that OP lives in NYC, not sure they have the space for it. However, if they have a spare bedroom, they'll have no shortage of good au pairs who'd want to match with them. NYC is one of the most coveted locations for APs.

Unfortunately no, we don't have room for an au pair! I wish. Although they seem like a lot of work in other ways (from experiences friends have had).

I am leaning towards putting the younger one in preschool until 1pm and trying to find someone from 1pm to 6pm. Maybe I can find that?

I have to do the math of how much preschool is by pickup time and how much I would pay someone hourly in the afternoons. Having her in preschool until 5pm + someone to be with older DD starting 3pm seems like the most expensive option.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd do what's easiest for your family, which is keeping the current nanny for DD2 and have her pick up DD6 as well. No preschool.

We kept both our kids in their daycare until 5 and they went straight to K without preschool. They're doing well.

There’s a big difference between daycare (which is essentially like preschool at older ages and nanny in terms of socialization and learning to deal with a structured educational environment.

Is an aupair an option? Cheaper than a full time nanny but able to do flex childcare.

My first thought was having an au pair, but given that OP lives in NYC, not sure they have the space for it. However, if they have a spare bedroom, they'll have no shortage of good au pairs who'd want to match with them. NYC is one of the most coveted locations for APs.

Unfortunately no, we don't have room for an au pair! I wish. Although they seem like a lot of work in other ways (from experiences friends have had).

I am leaning towards putting the younger one in preschool until 1pm and trying to find someone from 1pm to 6pm. Maybe I can find that?

I have to do the math of how much preschool is by pickup time and how much I would pay someone hourly in the afternoons. Having her in preschool until 5pm + someone to be with older DD starting 3pm seems like the most expensive option.

Maybe? I think it's harder for people on this board to answer with certainty because you are in NYC and most of the posters here are coming from the DC market perspective. In DC i would say that you will have pay pretty close to "full time" even though you only need 25 hours, just to make sure you get someone reliable and professional.

[Anonymous]

I would pick option 1. It's really hard to share with another family and get that to work with 4 kids. You may have to offer her more hours to get it to work, but you could go for a nanny/housekeeper type thing where she cleans the house, does laundry, etc before picking up the kids.

[Anonymous]

Honestly based on the follow-up I would just keep the nanny for another year or two and then switch to all-day preschool for the toddler and aftercare for the older.