Talk to me about PTAs

[Anonymous]

We’re transferring to a MCPS elementary next year with a large and active PTA. I’m slightly intimidated to get involved both because I don’t have a lot of time outside my job and don’t do well with cliquey situations (neurodivergent). But I’ve heard getting involved is important for the well-being of my kid in the school. Can anyone speak to how it is to join the PTA (time expectancy, cliquiness, acceptance of new/transfer families, etc.)?

[Anonymous]

The PTA at our school does not seem cliquey — they are grateful for anyone who can pitch in to help run it. The positions that take the most time are on the Board, but there are lots of positions that don’t require a Board commitment. You can coordinate teacher appreciation, serve as an NAACP rep, coordinate bike to school day, help plan the fall festival, run the listserv …. Lots and lots of options. And you can also simply volunteer for hour-long time slots at different events.

I would encourage you to get involved, OP. I am not in the Board of our PTA but do try to volunteer for as many events as possible, because if there are not parent volunteers, they can’t run them. For example, I have helped with the fall festival, volunteered at the book fair, helped with field day, helped run class parties — I’m luck to have a flexible work schedule that lets me do some daytime events. Others volunteer evenings or weekends.

[Anonymous]

You don't need to get involved for the well being of your child. Donate when you can, turn up for class activities / field trips when you can. Go to parent-teacher evenings.

The PTA is full of really pushy moms with troubled kids who think if they are in some position of influence they can protect their kids and / or get them extra resources they need / keep them out of trouble. Crazy mommies of crazy kids, I am not joking.

I was so glad when my kids got to HS and we didn't have to deal with any PTA crap any more. I just ignored it all, as much as possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don't need to get involved for the well being of your child. Donate when you can, turn up for class activities / field trips when you can. Go to parent-teacher evenings.

The PTA is full of really pushy moms with troubled kids who think if they are in some position of influence they can protect their kids and / or get them extra resources they need / keep them out of trouble. Crazy mommies of crazy kids, I am not joking.

I was so glad when my kids got to HS and we didn't have to deal with any PTA crap any more. I just ignored it all, as much as possible.

Generalize much? Jeez. As a former elementary school PTA president, I assure I didn’t take on the role to get my child extras, or protection. In fact, just the opposite - I was always careful to make sure my child was treated the exact same as every other student because I didn’t want the appearance of favoritism.

To the original poster, you should do as little or as much as you feel comfortable with. I would definitely donate to whatever fundraising drive your PTA does - you can ask what a typical donation amount is if they don’t suggest an amount - and then, if you want, start with small volunteer jobs. At my school the Teacher Appreciation committee was a great way to get involved. It was kind of easy and the teachers really enjoyed it. Every school is different though, so you can also just see what happens this year and then jump into volunteering next year.

[Anonymous]

Our PTA is not cliquey. I signed up for it and pay dues. I get requests for volunteers, donations, etc and contribute when I can. I don't think it affects my kid directly one way or the other. I think you can be as involved as you want.

[Anonymous]

Our experience is it is very school specific. Some are very cliquey and not welcoming and others are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don't need to get involved for the well being of your child. Donate when you can, turn up for class activities / field trips when you can. Go to parent-teacher evenings.

The PTA is full of really pushy moms with troubled kids who think if they are in some position of influence they can protect their kids and / or get them extra resources they need / keep them out of trouble. Crazy mommies of crazy kids, I am not joking.

I was so glad when my kids got to HS and we didn't have to deal with any PTA crap any more. I just ignored it all, as much as possible.

Generalize much? Jeez. As a former elementary school PTA president, I assure I didn’t take on the role to get my child extras, or protection. In fact, just the opposite - I was always careful to make sure my child was treated the exact same as every other student because I didn’t want the appearance of favoritism.

To the original poster, you should do as little or as much as you feel comfortable with. I would definitely donate to whatever fundraising drive your PTA does - you can ask what a typical donation amount is if they don’t suggest an amount - and then, if you want, start with small volunteer jobs. At my school the Teacher Appreciation committee was a great way to get involved. It was kind of easy and the teachers really enjoyed it. Every school is different though, so you can also just see what happens this year and then jump into volunteering next year.

I have good kids. Zero favoritism. They might answer my emails a bit quicker - within a week but that's about it and only if its PTA related.

[Anonymous]

If you don't want to be that involved, just become a member and donate goods and money when they ask. There's nothing wrong with PTAs but if you don't have the bandwidth, just doing those two things would be very impactful.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You don't need to get involved for the well being of your child. Donate when you can, turn up for class activities / field trips when you can. Go to parent-teacher evenings.

The PTA is full of really pushy moms with troubled kids who think if they are in some position of influence they can protect their kids and / or get them extra resources they need / keep them out of trouble. Crazy mommies of crazy kids, I am not joking.

I was so glad when my kids got to HS and we didn't have to deal with any PTA crap any more. I just ignored it all, as much as possible.[/quote]

Generalize much? Jeez. As a former elementary school PTA president, I assure I didn’t take on the role to get my child extras, or protection. In fact, just the opposite - [b]I was always careful to make sure my child was treated the exact same as every other student because I didn’t want the appearance of favoritism.
[/b]
To the original poster, you should do as little or as much as you feel comfortable with. I would definitely donate to whatever fundraising drive your PTA does - you can ask what a typical donation amount is if they don’t suggest an amount - and then, if you want, start with small volunteer jobs. At my school the Teacher Appreciation committee was a great way to get involved. It was kind of easy and the teachers really enjoyed it. Every school is different though, so you can also just see what happens this year and then jump into volunteering next year. [/quote]

How did you ‘make sure’ your child was treated the exact same way as every other student?

There are PTA volunteers that just want to make the school a better place. You, on the other hand, do come across as pompous.

You just brought up two of the most annoying things about PTA’s. The teacher appreciation, aka gift and/or lunch buying for the teachers, and the incessant soliciting for donations.

How about you let the teachers buy their own meals, like most professionals that get paid for the work they do. The drive for donations is more strident in elementary grades, and as the time goes most parents realize PTA’s are just the means to supplement school budgets for programs that rarely make a difference. Stuff like ‘mental health counseling’ or ‘reading and math intervention’ etc. Most of the time the issue is not money, actual parent involvement and volunteering is far more valuable for the benefit of the students.

For the OP I’d suggest finding something that you care about, like being the soccer team coach, or organizing the science fair etc. Work with the PTA to find like minded people that care about the same, but also realize that on occasion you might have to deal with those insufferable PTA moms that crave attention, social recognition and validation of their own self worth.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You don't need to get involved for the well being of your child. Donate when you can, turn up for class activities / field trips when you can. Go to parent-teacher evenings.

The PTA is full of really pushy moms with troubled kids who think if they are in some position of influence they can protect their kids and / or get them extra resources they need / keep them out of trouble. Crazy mommies of crazy kids, I am not joking.

I was so glad when my kids got to HS and we didn't have to deal with any PTA crap any more. I just ignored it all, as much as possible.[/quote]

Generalize much? Jeez. As a former elementary school PTA president, I assure I didn’t take on the role to get my child extras, or protection. In fact, just the opposite - [b]I was always careful to make sure my child was treated the exact same as every other student because I didn’t want the appearance of favoritism.
[/b]
To the original poster, you should do as little or as much as you feel comfortable with. I would definitely donate to whatever fundraising drive your PTA does - you can ask what a typical donation amount is if they don’t suggest an amount - and then, if you want, start with small volunteer jobs. At my school the Teacher Appreciation committee was a great way to get involved. It was kind of easy and the teachers really enjoyed it. Every school is different though, so you can also just see what happens this year and then jump into volunteering next year. [/quote]

How did you ‘make sure’ your child was treated the exact same way as every other student?

There are PTA volunteers that just want to make the school a better place. You, on the other hand, do come across as pompous.

You just brought up two of the most annoying things about PTA’s. The teacher appreciation, aka gift and/or lunch buying for the teachers, and the incessant soliciting for donations.

How about you let the teachers buy their own meals, like most professionals that get paid for the work they do. The drive for donations is more strident in elementary grades, and as the time goes most parents realize PTA’s are just the means to supplement school budgets for programs that rarely make a difference. Stuff like ‘mental health counseling’ or ‘reading and math intervention’ etc. Most of the time the issue is not money, actual parent involvement and volunteering is far more valuable for the benefit of the students.

For the OP I’d suggest finding something that you care about, like being the soccer team coach, or organizing the science fair etc. Work with the PTA to find like minded people that care about the same, but also realize that on occasion you might have to deal with those insufferable PTA moms that crave attention, social recognition and validation of their own self worth.


This seems overly harsh and stereotypical of PTA. Many parents(because PTAs do have men on them) are just trying to be helpful and bring both advocacy and activity into the school. Donations and fundraiser are needed because a) PTA is a nonprofit organization that must treat its operations with business like ethics and 2) things cost money. DJs for parities aren’t free. Neither is decorations, or science boards. Most PTAs are not cliquish and will take any volunteer they can get, especially for committee chair positions or the Board.
[/quote]

[Anonymous]

Your experience with the PTA is going to vary by the school. My kids go to two different schools and I am involved in both PTAs--the difference is astonishing. One is very well-run, communicative and the events are well-attended. There are processes in place and it makes it easy to volunteer.

The other is....a hot mess. It's way more low-key, which can be nice, but no one participates in anything and they spend money on things that, in my opinion, are not needed.

But I have found both to be very welcoming to new parents and open to volunteers. You just have to go in with the understanding that these are busy people who are volunteering their time--no one is getting paid for this and they doing their best. Contrary to what DCUMers think, all of our PTA board reps and the most dedicated volunteers are all working parents who are just trying to balance it all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We’re transferring to a MCPS elementary next year with a large and active PTA. I’m slightly intimidated to get involved both because I don’t have a lot of time outside my job and don’t do well with cliquey situations (neurodivergent). But I’ve heard getting involved is important for the well-being of my kid in the school. Can anyone speak to how it is to join the PTA (time expectancy, cliquiness, acceptance of new/transfer families, etc.)?

I've been involved in PTAs in four different MCPS schools. They nearly always are short of volunteers and welcome help. If you have parents who have known each other for awhile, it may seem like a clique, but once they see you are willing to work and help, it will be a rare PTA leader who isn't welcoming.

As for time commitment, that varies by the job. One nice thing about the PTAs is that there are year-long commitments, and single-project volunteer opportunities. You may find parents who have done the same job for the last 5-6 years and don't want to give up what they view (incorrectly) as "their project." PTA leadership doesn't interfere because the parents have been hard workers, and no one wants a hard worker to quit. Parents who have a pet project could be annoyed if they think you are trying to interfere with "their" project and it could look like cliquiness. I'd recommend being willing to take on any project at all in your skill set and time availability.

[Anonymous]

I'd just quietly show up to meetings and leave. Limit conversation if you're awkward. Just smile. Yes and no. Then nobody can say you fail to attend or join PTA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your experience with the PTA is going to vary by the school. My kids go to two different schools and I am involved in both PTAs--the difference is astonishing. One is very well-run, communicative and the events are well-attended. There are processes in place and it makes it easy to volunteer.

The other is....a hot mess. It's way more low-key, which can be nice, but no one participates in anything and they spend money on things that, in my opinion, are not needed.

But I have found both to be very welcoming to new parents and open to volunteers. You just have to go in with the understanding that these are busy people who are volunteering their time--no one is getting paid for this and they doing their best. Contrary to what DCUMers think, all of our PTA board reps and the most dedicated volunteers are all working parents who are just trying to balance it all.

Some of the communication issues may be on the school. Our only way to announce things is through the school and despite our requests they will not send out communications. Several of us have just given up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We’re transferring to a MCPS elementary next year with a large and active PTA. I’m slightly intimidated to get involved both because I don’t have a lot of time outside my job and don’t do well with cliquey situations (neurodivergent). But I’ve heard getting involved is important for the well-being of my kid in the school. Can anyone speak to how it is to join the PTA (time expectancy, cliquiness, acceptance of new/transfer families, etc.)?

I've been involved in PTAs in four different MCPS schools. They nearly always are short of volunteers and welcome help. If you have parents who have known each other for awhile, it may seem like a clique, but once they see you are willing to work and help, it will be a rare PTA leader who isn't welcoming.

As for time commitment, that varies by the job. One nice thing about the PTAs is that there are year-long commitments, and single-project volunteer opportunities. You may find parents who have done the same job for the last 5-6 years and don't want to give up what they view (incorrectly) as "their project." PTA leadership doesn't interfere because the parents have been hard workers, and no one wants a hard worker to quit. Parents who have a pet project could be annoyed if they think you are trying to interfere with "their" project and it could look like cliquiness. I'd recommend being willing to take on any project at all in your skill set and time availability.

I think this is important to keep in mind. I feel like so many people come to one meeting, see that parents are already talking to one another and then immediately feel left out. It's likely that these parents met through PTA and that's how they became friends. Don't get discouraged if you don't feel like part of the PTA immediately. It may take some time but that's the same with any group.

But, if you do get involved (which is not an obligation), make sure that you really do have the time to dedicate to the project you are volunteering for. I was a PTA president and definitely got burned a few times by people who "really" wanted to get involved and then just dropped the ball so I was left to finish the project.