Any recommendations for housing for 82yo mother?

[Anonymous]

She is currently living in a senior apartment building up north close to sibling but wants to return to the fairfax area where she’ll be alone (she does not enjoy living up north). She insists she can live completely independently , but the reality is she cannot. I am currently living outside of thr country, but willl be returned to VAin 2-3 years max.
Any suggestions would be much appreciated.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like assisted living would be appropriate. How are her finances? Look into Greenspring in Springfield, or one of the Brightview locations.

[Anonymous]

She has enough money-currently spending $4000 a month but she complains that she doesn’t want to spend that much

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She has enough money-currently spending $4000 a month but she complains that she doesn’t want to spend that much

Hmmm. Lower than that will be tough around Fairfax. So most of these sorts of places either have a buy-in amount and a lower monthly charge (Greenspring), or no buy-in and higher monthly charge (Brightview). Does she have a lump-sum available for a buy-in?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She has enough money-currently spending $4000 a month but she complains that she doesn’t want to spend that much

Hmmm. Lower than that will be tough around Fairfax. So most of these sorts of places either have a buy-in amount and a lower monthly charge (Greenspring), or no buy-in and higher monthly charge (Brightview). Does she have a lump-sum available for a buy-in?

But to add, these places include things like all your meals and the activities and some include medication management if she needs it and so on, which may help with the budget.

[Anonymous]

Thank you for you responses. She’s completely against buying into one of these places.

[Anonymous]

My Dad lived at the Hermitage in Alexandria and they were good for people who couldn’t live alone but needed some assistance with medication, bathing, etc. They also have a section for higher medical needs, but he never used it.

It was a monthly fee, based on level of service needed, with no upfront buy-in.

The place is now owned by Goodwin Living and goes by the name “the View Alexandria”.

[Anonymous]

If she really is independent and just needs someone to check in with her, Bright View is really nice. They are not for assisted living, even though they say they are.

[Anonymous]

Just because she wants something, doesn't mean it should happen. Since I take the position that she should stay where she is, close to a family member, if I were you I'd do this -- I wouldn't lift a finger re: this search. Don't tell her that, of course. But like a teenager/young adult who, in some cases, want what they aren't ready for --- this is on her. The research is left to her. She's got to do it all. If she actually comes close to signing papers and moving, you and sibling should look over the details.

People want all kinds of thing. And sometimes the thought of something different, that they *could* be somewhere different, is exciting. Let her talk about it, think about it. I doubt she will *do* anything about it if left to her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just because she wants something, doesn't mean it should happen. Since I take the position that she should stay where she is, close to a family member, if I were you I'd do this -- I wouldn't lift a finger re: this search. Don't tell her that, of course. But like a teenager/young adult who, in some cases, want what they aren't ready for --- this is on her. The research is left to her. She's got to do it all. If she actually comes close to signing papers and moving, you and sibling should look over the details.

People want all kinds of thing. And sometimes the thought of something different, that they *could* be somewhere different, is exciting. Let her talk about it, think about it. I doubt she will *do* anything about it if left to her.

Have a heart- she’s 82. She might need a little help.

[Anonymous]

Was she or your father ever an officer in the military or GS14 and above Federal retiree? If so, she may be eligible for Vinson Hall.

[Anonymous]

My mom is 94 and lives in independent living at asbury Methodist .

Do you have an over 55 community like that?

When she gets too old to be in independent living, they have assisted living and nursing care on the same campus so her friends can visit her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Was she or your father ever an officer in the military or GS14 and above Federal retiree? If so, she may be eligible for Vinson Hall.

Yes, my dad retired is a retired army officer ( but they divorced in thr 80s).Thank you for this info

[Anonymous]

My mom is at an independent living place in Ashburn- her rent is just over $5k per month but it includes breakfast and dinner as well as activities and rides to doctors and field trips to stores.

There’s an assisted living place in One Loudoun called Trubute that starts around $6500 that offers more services.

Neither require a buy-in, they’re just rentals.

[Anonymous]

My parents were in IL at Greenspring. They also didn't want to move into one of these places. But my Mom's dementia, and my Dad not able to handle it was too much and they needed to be closer to me. But they waited too long and EVERYTHING fell on me. I was handling the move, house sale, and medical appointments. I swear those 6-8 months took years off my life.

Greenspring is a great place. It's as social as you want it to be. And there is a medical center on-site which is so convenient, especially when they stop driving.

Like the others have said, if she wants this, then let her do the work. Or just tell her that you did the research and the only places with opening are CCRCs.