My husband is acting extremely careless and I am due to give birth in one month.

[WRP1991]

My husband almost got fired from his job as a CNC machinist a month ago after he scraped an entire lot of 4 parts, and didn't even bother measuring the parts... They caught the mistake in inspection...and He tried to claim he was told not to bother measuring because they were working with such a lose tolerance...(No self accountability) he was suspended from work without pay for 3 days for that one... last week he got sent home on Friday because he scrapped a part... I wrote his supervisor an email (from him) because he is dyslexic and I needed to smooth things over. My email worked out great, he didn't get fired and they are having him come in early for more training for the week. Last night I notice he gets home before 8 hours is complete...I immediately get nervous and ask him why he didn't finish his 8-hour shift... He tries to claim he did... I tell him "You went in at 12:30 and you pulled in the driveway at 8:12 and you work 22 minutes away... HOW is that 8 hours... He says they paid him for his lunch...I was half asleep so I just accepted that even though it didn't make any sense to me. 5 min later he walks into the room and tells me he is going back to work for a half hour and that I was right, he did leave early accidentally... I am getting really frustrated because he literally almost lost his job and then now does this...Can't even count the hours on a clock? It's like he is trying to get fired before my due date...I am on his health insurance... We have a toddler and a mortgage and we can't afford for him to lose his job...I just don't even know what to do at this point because he keeps acting like his mistakes are "no big deal" when they ARE a big deal and he is on extremely thin ice at work...I am not sure if he is suffering from "burnout" or if he isn't getting enough sleep....but something is not right... and I don't know how to not be upset...


Usually, he is very responsible and this just seems so out of character...It's like he's been lobotomized without my friggin knowledge or something...

[Anonymous]

Drugs?
Brain tumor?

[Anonymous]

If this is a marked difference from his usual cognitive function, he should see a doctor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Drugs?
Brain tumor?

+1

Alcohol?

If I were you, I’d investigate getting onto health insurance through your job ASAP. I know you can’t switch over whenever you want, but find out if you losing your health insurance is a qualifying condition. Get the info lined up.

[WRP1991]

Definitely not drugs... but I am concerned health wise... I do think he should be checked out...

[Anonymous]

Ugh, sorry you’re going through this. He doesn’t sound reliable or competent. Was he always like this or maybe you’re just now noticing? I had zero room for BS when I was pregnant but even more so when the baby was born. Basically, my bandwidth for leniency cut way back because my primary focus was ensuring a good situation for the newborn.

[Anonymous]

Call his job and ask to speak to him and don't be surprised if you're told. "he no longer works here "

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry. How scary.

[Anonymous]

I would definitely try to make sure he still actually works there.

And if so then get him checked by a doctor asap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Call his job and ask to speak to him and don't be surprised if you're told. "he no longer works here "

this. He is acting like a man who is afraid to tell you he has already been fired.

If he is employed but is uncharacteristically cavalier, especially considering this is not his first baby and he shouldn't be freaking out about new parenthood, definitely sit him down and tell him you are very concerned for his health and get a full work up. Does he have plenty of independent life insurance not connected to his job?

Also, OP, after this kid, seriously consider your family size and planning given this stress and financial insecurity. 2 kids is plenty.

[Anonymous]

A lot of mental health issues boil over when babies are on the way. Could be depression, alcoholism and a host of other things.

I assume this was a planned on both parts pregnancy? I ask because when it happens by accident that is all the more likely to set things off. Yes, he is responsible because you made the baby together, but in terms of feeling out of control/resentment/worry about affording the baby/not wanting 2 kids, etc it would be all the more likely to push someone over the edge who appeared stable before.

I would find out if he still works there. I would encourage him to get to a doctor, but do it in a loving way not a threatening way. I would also start planning how you will manage if you have an unemployed husband who cannot get it together. Explore your options. Can you afford cobra insurance? How much of a safety net do you have? You could just explode and torment him, but if he is mentally or physically ill that will just be abusive behavior. This may be your emergency situation where you will have to access emergency funds or start getting used to food banks.

I am so sorry you are going through this.