Does anyone else frequently wonder how you haven't a nervous breakdown yet?
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Anonymous
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Or is just me? After so many years of special needs parenting, trying to be kind and empathetic as I advocate while also hiring an advocate as needed, all the ups and downs and then....
Sandwich generation stuff with so many inlaw emergencies and my own parent emergencies and then.... Daughter (the one who doesn't have special needs) suddenly diagnosed with an autoimmune and husband having a freak medical issue and.... Then more special needs stuff comes up because it always comes up because I only get these lulls before there is something happening.. I know we are all resilient and we just keep bouncing back and we do what we have to for our kids and family, but OMG! And, I try to be genuinely empathetic when friends complain about kitchen reno hassles, because I know that truly is tough and I know it's upsetting when your kid is struggling in her 8th AP class and she worries nightly about getting into her 1st choice ivy or your kid doesn't make travel sports or your flight to Europe was delayed 4 hours, but sometimes I think....why can't those be my problems? So cheers to anyone in the "I should have had a nervous breakdown already, but so far I am still standing" club. May we keep dusting ourselves off and getting back up! |
Anonymous
| šÆ |
Anonymous
| I hear you OP. Thereās one thing after another. We keep afloat with parent coaching and marriage counseling. Probably need to join an elder care support group soon too. |
Anonymous
| Every.single.day, more than once. |
Anonymous
| I try and help mom-family folks with more severe problems than mine. It helps keep it in perspective. |
Anonymous
| Amen |
Anonymous
| Feel for you, OP. I'm sorry. I hope you can catch a break soon and I hope you have someone who can support YOU. |
Anonymous
| Another amen. And hoping for the chance for you to take a breath, OP. |
Anonymous
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Yes op. Parenting and life is hard anyway and if you have an sn kid you are always either in semi crisis or waiting for the shoe to drop. I sometimes wonder if I should have been a parent - not bc I regret it - but bc I never imagined that it would take me to the point of burnout so intense that my body literally started to pack it in even tho my brain is willing - this has been a year of health issues and just broken downness.
I hear you on the friend stuff too - and the other things you imagine no one else would ever understand, like that I had an abortion when I found out I was pg with number 3 bc I knew I couldnāt handle it with everything else on my plate. I think about it every day ā¹ļø This sh*t really hard. We get it - sending you hugs |
Anonymous
| I hear you, OP. And you are doing better than I am because I spend an hour per week talking to my therapist about how my friendsā problems donāt sound like problems to me. |
Anonymous
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This isn't going to make you feel better, or maybe it will?
But the threshold for a nervous breakdown is relatively low. It's not that you can't function, it's that you are seriously burnt out. web MD What are signs of a nervous breakdown? Signs of a Nervous Breakdown Low self-esteem. Fearfulness. Irritability. Worrying. Feeling helpless. Getting angry easily. Withdrawing from family and friends. Losing interest in your favorite activities. Mayo For example, he or she may: Call in sick to work for days or longer Avoid social engagements and miss appointments Have trouble following healthy patterns of eating, sleeping and hygiene |
Anonymous
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Looking back at the acute phase of our child's SN journey, I absolutely had PTSD. Terrible nightmares where I was getting into car accidents, drowning, feeling like I was floating out of my body and viewing myself from above. I had to run an errand near the ER where we took DC and I had a panic attack and had to pull the car over and call DH to come get me. Sometimes I have moments where everything is normal and peaceful and it seems like a voice is speaking to me saying "this will end," because I know with DC's issues it inevitably will. We feel more capable of managing it now but it is a very, very hard path and it is hard to observe families with typical children without feeling a pang of...something.
I also go through periods where I wonder if I should have chosen not to be a parent, or if it was selfish for me to want a second child (DC2 is the one with SNs). Most days feel like an existential crisis of some sort or another, even the good days. On the upside, the empathy I have for ALL parents is just beyond compare. So I send everyone love and support. |
Anonymous
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My husband and his Asperger's has brought me to multiple nervous breakdowns. Never my son with special needs.
Big hugs, OP. You will get through it, but not without PTSD. Accepting your injuries is the first step towards healing them, because mentally you know you're in it for the long haul and you need to preserve your strength. |
Anonymous
Wait, all of the above or just most? I feel like there should be a SN parenting adjustment. I mean I've had to withdraw from family who make rude comments and take breaks from friends who don't get it. Apparently, I've had multiple nervous breakdowns. but am still going strong. My favorite is when my therapists suggests a weekend getaway with my husband. To that I think, "Great when should I dop my kids off at your place?" Then I think I probably need to write a manual to dealing with their every quirk and food need. |
Anonymous
| If it makes you feel better op, I did in fact have a nervous breakdown |