Texting a coworker

[Anonymous]

He's separated and I'm married, albeit unhappy. He knows this. We go out to coffee and lunch from time and time and he out of the blue started to text. Is this crossing a boundary? I'm trying to make sense of what is happening.

[Anonymous]

You going out for coffee and lunch crossed the line.

[Anonymous]

Why does your coworker know you are in an unhappy marriage. You are inappropriate.

[Anonymous]

Of course it's crossing a boundary. But the biggest boundary was you telling him you're unhappy in your marriage. You crossed that one.

You're obviously on the cusp of having an affair with this guy, and he's trying to push you over the edge.

Step back or step off. Decision is yours.

[Anonymous]

I am close to some male coworkers, where we text about random stuff. But the one thing we don’t discuss is the problems (or lack thereof) in our marriages.

[Anonymous]

I can 100 percent assure you that if you don’t end this now, you will blow up your life and have some serious regrets.

Do the right thing - water your own grass or leave your spouse first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You going out for coffee and lunch crossed the line.

Agree. I go out alone with gay male coworkers or women, only. If straight men only with at least one other person. This isn't any "rule" on me for my marriage, just a practice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You going out for coffee and lunch crossed the line.

Agree. I go out alone with gay male coworkers or women, only. If straight men only with at least one other person. This isn't any "rule" on me for my marriage, just a practice.

I go out alone w straight male friends and colleagues all the time, but I’m not unhappily married and we don’t discuss topics like our marriages. Everyone has different boundaries.

[Anonymous]

I am unhappily married and I go out with a single coworker every Friday. A liquid lunch always turns into Happy Hour but we never talk about my marriage and we never text.

[Anonymous]

Texting is perfectly fine. I text with 3 male friends, and nothing has ever crossed a line. Going out for a meal is perfectly fine.

You know where the line is, OP: it's not touching each other in a romantic way, and not expressing any sort of affection or wish for intimacy together.

DCUM is extremely conservative and frowns on anything that might get you in the vicinity of the universe of the star system in which the planet adultery resides. You're not supposed to even look at a man. You should positively wear a burqa and live by Taliban rules.

But in the real world, what you're doing is perfectly fine.
Men and women can be friends with each other.

[Anonymous]

If you have to ask then it’s inappropriate.

[Anonymous]

Yes stop being a home wrecker.

[Anonymous]

Explore the potential. Text him. Have some drinks. Stay the night. Have breakfast. Back to his place for another round. Head home.

[Anonymous]

Texting is perfectly fine. I text with 3 male friends, and nothing has ever crossed a line. Going out for a meal is perfectly fine.

You know where the line is, OP: it's not touching each other in a romantic way, and not expressing any sort of affection or wish for intimacy together.

DCUM is extremely conservative and frowns on anything that might get you in the vicinity of the universe of the star system in which the planet adultery resides. You're not supposed to even look at a man. You should positively wear a burqa and live by Taliban rules.

But in the real world, what you're doing is perfectly fine.
Men and women can be friends with each other.

Wth this is terrible advice. Confiding in a coworker of the opposite sex about marital issues is beyond inappropriate and crossing the line. You need much better boundaries.

[Anonymous]

There’s a thing called the friend zone. As long as you and your co-worker stay in the friend zone, there should be no issue. A lot of people work at places where they don’t fit in very well; if they were only allowed to become close friends with the same sex, they might not find any good work friends. Not having any good work friends really sucks.