Am I obligated to sit at the bar?

[Anonymous]

I'm a frequent solo business traveler, and I've noticed lately that restaurants really prefer to seat me at the bar. The problem is that I'm overweight with really short legs and high-top chairs are very uncomfortable for me...usually I can't reach the cross-bar and spend the meal sliding off the chair. Very upleasant. My favorite place in Phoenix flat-out refused to give me a normal table last time, so I've started just doing fast food drive-throughs, but it's a lonely way to travel. Am I really doomed to the bar?

[Anonymous]

That’s frustrating, and as a customer if you ask for a table
they should accommodate that, period. Are you able to develop a pat humorous response that refers to the idea that you aren’t going to sit at the bar that also slightly puts them
in their place for suggesting it? I’m thinking of women who get
get asked if they are pregnant and directly look at the person and stone face answer “what makes you ask?” whether they are or aren’t.

[Anonymous]

I'm also a frequent solo diner and have literally never had a problem being sat at a table. I don't prefer to sit at the bar and rarely do so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm also a frequent solo diner and have literally never had a problem being sat at a table. I don't prefer to sit at the bar and rarely do so.

Same here.

[Anonymous]

That is awful, OP. Particularly the Phoenix place. Flat out lie. Table for 2. Then the other person is running late...oops! Could not make it.

I am short and no way could comfortably dine at a bar height table/stool/chair. Also on a business trip as lone female, I would not want to be hanging out for my dinner in a bar. Not safe. Guys drinking. Someone slips something in your drink. No thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm also a frequent solo diner and have literally never had a problem being sat at a table. I don't prefer to sit at the bar and rarely do so.

Same here.

+2 If offered a seat at the bar I just say "no thank you, I'd prefer a table" and it's never been a problem.

[Anonymous]

I have health problems where blood pools in my legs so I just announce that when they try to seat me at the bar.

If you are being dismissed then I would work through the following script:

"I'm so sorry but I have to ask you to accommodate my disability . . . " and then smile expectantly like you know they will give you a table. If they keep trying either cup your ear and say, "I'm so sorry, could you repeat that?" or just laugh airily and say, "Oh, I wouldn't wish that on you . . . last time I was seated at a bar I fainted!" And finally, make sure you get the name of the person and say, "Just to be clear [Name], you are stating that this establishment cannot accommodate my disability, and that this is your official policy?"

[Anonymous]

Same poster as above.

I'm generally not in favor of lying but it sounds like you are being dismissed for some reason, and you need to Pretty Woman this situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm also a frequent solo diner and have literally never had a problem being sat at a table. I don't prefer to sit at the bar and rarely do so.

Similar here, though I don't usually mind the bar. But I've often sat at tables and never had a problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That is awful, OP. Particularly the Phoenix place. Flat out lie. Table for 2. Then the other person is running late...oops! Could not make it.

I am short and no way could comfortably dine at a bar height table/stool/chair. Also on a business trip as lone female, I would not want to be hanging out for my dinner in a bar. Not safe. Guys drinking. Someone slips something in your drink. No thanks.

This PP has good advice, OP. Especially about how a woman seated alone at a bar, in some restaurants, might be assumed to be open to approaches by men. It happened to a friend of mine when she was doing a lot of business travel. She quickly learned to say no to being seated at a bar. She didn't like to say "table for two" since some places would keep pestering you along lines of "Are you still expecting the other party" blah blah. She said she started just walking up quickly and assertively to the host and saying immediately, "Table for ONE, please," not ever letting them get as far as asking stuff like "Just you tonight?" or "would you like to sit at the bar?"

Unless a restaurant is packed at the height of meal service and people are waiting for tables already, refusing to seat a solo patron at a table is nuts. It's arrogant. I hope you complained to that Phoenix restaurant via email afterward, OP, and were clear that you've spent money with them before but won't again, and will tell other frequent business travelers you know not to dine there, solo or otherwise. They need to hear that.

[Anonymous]

I've never had a place say no if I ask to be seated at a table. I also make sure not to go to a super-busy restaurant, so they have tables to spare.

OP. have you tried asking for a table when they offer you a bar space? They aren't mind readers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have health problems where blood pools in my legs so I just announce that when they try to seat me at the bar.

If you are being dismissed then I would work through the following script:

"I'm so sorry but I have to ask you to accommodate my disability . . . " and then smile expectantly like you know they will give you a table. If they keep trying either cup your ear and say, "I'm so sorry, could you repeat that?" or just laugh airily and say, "Oh, I wouldn't wish that on you . . . last time I was seated at a bar I fainted!" And finally, make sure you get the name of the person and say, "Just to be clear [Name], you are stating that this establishment cannot accommodate my disability, and that this is your official policy?"

DP. Sounds like fun. But who has time or energy for all that drama? "TABLE for one" and if asked to sit at the bar, "No thank you. Table for one." Glare. Done. They don't need to know my blood pools in my legs. or anything else. If they persist, say, "I have a medical issue that makes sitting on barstools difficult. Are you going to seat me or should I take my business elsewhere?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have health problems where blood pools in my legs so I just announce that when they try to seat me at the bar.

If you are being dismissed then I would work through the following script:

"I'm so sorry but I have to ask you to accommodate my disability . . . " and then smile expectantly like you know they will give you a table. If they keep trying either cup your ear and say, "I'm so sorry, could you repeat that?" or just laugh airily and say, "Oh, I wouldn't wish that on you . . . last time I was seated at a bar I fainted!" And finally, make sure you get the name of the person and say, "Just to be clear [Name], you are stating that this establishment cannot accommodate my disability, and that this is your official policy?"

DP. Sounds like fun. But who has time or energy for all that drama? "TABLE for one" and if asked to sit at the bar, "No thank you. Table for one." Glare. Done. They don't need to know my blood pools in my legs. or anything else. If they persist, say, "I have a medical issue that makes sitting on barstools difficult. Are you going to seat me or should I take my business elsewhere?"

I am not sure causing trouble before they serve you is the best plan.

[Anonymous]

No explanation needed. “No, I’d like to sit in the dining room”. If they say no, tell them you’re disappointed because this was your favorite restaurant and now you’ll need to go somewhere else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That is awful, OP. Particularly the Phoenix place. Flat out lie. Table for 2. Then the other person is running late...oops! Could not make it.

I am short and no way could comfortably dine at a bar height table/stool/chair. Also on a business trip as lone female, I would not want to be hanging out for my dinner in a bar. Not safe. Guys drinking. Someone slips something in your drink. No thanks.

The first line here is 100% the correct response.

Not to say the second isn't also accurate, I'm a guy and will accept this as gospel.