Greedy rich people

[Anonymous]

Why are some rich people so incredibly greedy? It’s like money means something other than money to them. I am in the midst of an incredibly petty squabble over an extremely small inheritance - like literally, an amount that my brothers probably blow in one weekend at their “clubs.” It just came out that they are incredibly wealthy (talking 7-figures annually) when I just assumed they were “normal” high HHI like 500k. Yet, they have spent YEARS engaged in strenuous efforts to ensure nobody “freeloads” when it comes to supporting aging relatives, they are obsessed with making sure wills are changed to reflect their monetary support (nevermind that there is almost certainly not actually going to be any money in those estates).

Before I found out how ungodly rich they are I didn’t really care. Now I find the drama frankly bizarre.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are some rich people so incredibly greedy? It’s like money means something other than money to them. I am in the midst of an incredibly petty squabble over an extremely small inheritance - like literally, an amount that my brothers probably blow in one weekend at their “clubs.” It just came out that they are incredibly wealthy (talking 7-figures annually) when I just assumed they were “normal” high HHI like 500k. Yet, they have spent YEARS engaged in strenuous efforts to ensure nobody “freeloads” when it comes to supporting aging relatives, they are obsessed with making sure wills are changed to reflect their monetary support (nevermind that there is almost certainly not actually going to be any money in those estates).

Before I found out how ungodly rich they are I didn’t really care. Now I find the drama frankly bizarre.

Some people can handle money and still be humble people and some people are warped by it. Your brothers are the latter.

[Anonymous]

Rich people often use money as a way to keep score. I think many rich people are at least slightly sociopathic. There are studies that wealth correlates to sociopathic traits (and causation goes both ways). And even if that weren't true, having money doesn't mean you can't have exactly the same bad traits as anyone else. Having lots of money doesn't make you kinder, or more generous, or more humble, or anything else. If you weren't already a good person, money won't make you one. If you were a miserly bean-counter with less money, you'll be one with more.

Also, $500K HHI is rich. Not normal. Rich.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are some rich people so incredibly greedy? It’s like money means something other than money to them. I am in the midst of an incredibly petty squabble over an extremely small inheritance - like literally, an amount that my brothers probably blow in one weekend at their “clubs.” It just came out that they are incredibly wealthy (talking 7-figures annually) when I just assumed they were “normal” high HHI like 500k. Yet, they have spent YEARS engaged in strenuous efforts to ensure nobody “freeloads” when it comes to supporting aging relatives, they are obsessed with making sure wills are changed to reflect their monetary support (nevermind that there is almost certainly not actually going to be any money in those estates).

Before I found out how ungodly rich they are I didn’t really care. Now I find the drama frankly bizarre.

You nailed it OP. It is about status, power, who knows what - something beyond security/freedom that most of us think about when we think about whey we want money. I have dealt with lots of rich wall street people ,and in general, they would knife their own mother for another nickel. They just want more and more and more.

[Anonymous]

It’s easier to be generous with other people's money. Or to think other people should be generous.

[Anonymous]

There is a fine line between keeping exact accounts and insisting on everyone contributing/ not freeloading, and just being a complete arse about it.

From your post, I'm not sure how often your brothers cross the line. They likely have expenses commensurate with their income, and are allergic to anyone making assumptions about what they can contribute solely based on their income. Likely they're of the mindset that "they worked hard to get where they are, and if others didn't work as hard, then too bad for them". Conveniently ignoring that being white and male opens doors that others have to work hard to open, and that everything has a component of luck.

I've seen both sides in my family. Well-off people being milked by poorer relatives who assume they can afford to help in every circumstance, and people getting overly defensive about their wealth to protect themselves from that same problem.

Continue to defend your financial interests, OP. This is a transactional negotiation: they play hardball, you play hardball.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Rich people often use money as a way to keep score. I think many rich people are at least slightly sociopathic. There are studies that wealth correlates to sociopathic traits (and causation goes both ways). And even if that weren't true, having money doesn't mean you can't have exactly the same bad traits as anyone else. Having lots of money doesn't make you kinder, or more generous, or more humble, or anything else. If you weren't already a good person, money won't make you one. If you were a miserly bean-counter with less money, you'll be one with more.

Also, $500K HHI is rich. Not normal. Rich.

OP her. Lol yes, $500k HHI is rich. In fact I think I am rich with my $220k HHI. I was just shocked that they had the kind of money that they could literally buy houses for these relatives without noticing it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are some rich people so incredibly greedy? It’s like money means something other than money to them. I am in the midst of an incredibly petty squabble over an extremely small inheritance - like literally, an amount that my brothers probably blow in one weekend at their “clubs.” It just came out that they are incredibly wealthy (talking 7-figures annually) when I just assumed they were “normal” high HHI like 500k. Yet, they have spent YEARS engaged in strenuous efforts to ensure nobody “freeloads” when it comes to supporting aging relatives, they are obsessed with making sure wills are changed to reflect their monetary support (nevermind that there is almost certainly not actually going to be any money in those estates).

Before I found out how ungodly rich they are I didn’t really care. Now I find the drama frankly bizarre.

You nailed it OP. It is about status, power, who knows what - something beyond security/freedom that most of us think about when we think about whey we want money. I have dealt with lots of rich wall street people ,and in general, they would knife their own mother for another nickel. They just want more and more and more.

Or "fairness"
Inheritance is about more than money. If distributed anything less than completely equally, regardless of one sibling's income vs. another's, it is parental favortism.

We ALL know that parental favortism is the #1 way to ensure siblings do not have a positive relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s easier to be generous with other people's money. Or to think other people should be generous.

I mean yeah, I don’t demand that they be generous. But they were *certainly* demanding that I pay my “fair share” (fairness as defined by them.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are some rich people so incredibly greedy? It’s like money means something other than money to them. I am in the midst of an incredibly petty squabble over an extremely small inheritance - like literally, an amount that my brothers probably blow in one weekend at their “clubs.” It just came out that they are incredibly wealthy (talking 7-figures annually) when I just assumed they were “normal” high HHI like 500k. Yet, they have spent YEARS engaged in strenuous efforts to ensure nobody “freeloads” when it comes to supporting aging relatives, they are obsessed with making sure wills are changed to reflect their monetary support (nevermind that there is almost certainly not actually going to be any money in those estates).

Before I found out how ungodly rich they are I didn’t really care. Now I find the drama frankly bizarre.

You nailed it OP. It is about status, power, who knows what - something beyond security/freedom that most of us think about when we think about whey we want money. I have dealt with lots of rich wall street people ,and in general, they would knife their own mother for another nickel. They just want more and more and more.

Or "fairness"
Inheritance is about more than money. If distributed anything less than completely equally, regardless of one sibling's income vs. another's, it is parental favortism.

We ALL know that parental favortism is the #1 way to ensure siblings do not have a positive relationship.

the inheritence was distributed equally. they think that is “unfair.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is a fine line between keeping exact accounts and insisting on everyone contributing/ not freeloading, and just being a complete arse about it.

From your post, I'm not sure how often your brothers cross the line. They likely have expenses commensurate with their income, and are allergic to anyone making assumptions about what they can contribute solely based on their income. Likely they're of the mindset that "they worked hard to get where they are, and if others didn't work as hard, then too bad for them". Conveniently ignoring that being white and male opens doors that others have to work hard to open, and that everything has a component of luck.

I've seen both sides in my family. Well-off people being milked by poorer relatives who assume they can afford to help in every circumstance, and people getting overly defensive about their wealth to protect themselves from that same problem.

Continue to defend your financial interests, OP. This is a transactional negotiation: they play hardball, you play hardball.

that makes sense. these are small amounts of money though - they seem to expend MUCH more time and energy devising ways to control their contributions than just writing a check would take. it made sense if they were like us mere mortals and still had to pinch to save for college. but ha ha no! they actually have generational wealth now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rich people often use money as a way to keep score. I think many rich people are at least slightly sociopathic. There are studies that wealth correlates to sociopathic traits (and causation goes both ways). And even if that weren't true, having money doesn't mean you can't have exactly the same bad traits as anyone else. Having lots of money doesn't make you kinder, or more generous, or more humble, or anything else. If you weren't already a good person, money won't make you one. If you were a miserly bean-counter with less money, you'll be one with more.

Also, $500K HHI is rich. Not normal. Rich.

OP her. Lol yes, $500k HHI is rich. In fact I think I am rich with my $220k HHI. I was just shocked that they had the kind of money that they could literally buy houses for these relatives without noticing it.

Mario spending other people’s money. I could afford to buy a poor relative a house. Why should I? They made choices that made them (and keep them) poor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s easier to be generous with other people's money. Or to think other people should be generous.

I mean yeah, I don’t demand that they be generous. But they were *certainly* demanding that I pay my “fair share” (fairness as defined by them.)

Is your “fair share” the same as theirs? Seems fair to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rich people often use money as a way to keep score. I think many rich people are at least slightly sociopathic. There are studies that wealth correlates to sociopathic traits (and causation goes both ways). And even if that weren't true, having money doesn't mean you can't have exactly the same bad traits as anyone else. Having lots of money doesn't make you kinder, or more generous, or more humble, or anything else. If you weren't already a good person, money won't make you one. If you were a miserly bean-counter with less money, you'll be one with more.

Also, $500K HHI is rich. Not normal. Rich.

OP her. Lol yes, $500k HHI is rich. In fact I think I am rich with my $220k HHI. I was just shocked that they had the kind of money that they could literally buy houses for these relatives without noticing it.

Mario spending other people’s money. I could afford to buy a poor relative a house. Why should I? They made choices that made them (and keep them) poor.

To be clear - I do NOT think they are obligated to give a single cent to these relatives (or me). I just find it very strange how they act when they do contribute.

[Anonymous]

How else do you think rich people get and stay rich?