DD is Div 1 athlete and is and has always been a bit socially awkward.

[Anonymous]

Please tell me how common this! She is a 23 and has discovered that a few future teammates are local tonight and they have not called her. This hurts! She is in pain over this- she says this has happened her whole life and was hoping to not deal with this in college. Ugh

[Anonymous]

Future teammates? So they don’t really know her?

[Anonymous]

If she is 23, why is she still in college?

[Anonymous]

I understand that you meant she is a graduating high school senior this year.

Your daughter's thinking is not helping her. She is hurt that girls she doesn't know who are in town under circumstances she doesn't know didn't contact her. Your daughter needs to learn to take control of her own social life so she's not sitting around and waiting to be invited. In addition, she needs to stop framing herself as a victim. Both of those habits can hinder her socially. I hope she can spend these few months before college working on her social skills and mental health so she can start college as a better version of herself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If she is 23, why is she still in college?

Because this is totally normal. Sheesh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If she is 23, why is she still in college?

“A 2023” = a 2023 graduate.

[Anonymous]

It’s not common for future teammates to reach out when in town.

Do you mean she is committed to a team and they are playing locally?

Players will NEVER reach out the weekend they are playing.

She should text the coach and say she will be at the game and say hi after but they are so busy on travel weekend that’s about all she should expect.

[Anonymous]

She is overreacting, they barely know each other. Do these teammates know where she lives?

[Anonymous]

It's important not to confuse teammates with friends. She'll be off to college next year anyway so will have to renegotiate friendships.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's important not to confuse teammates with friends. She'll be off to college next year anyway so will have to renegotiate friendships.

?

Teammates will very much be her friend!

[Anonymous]

It sounds like she may have social anxiety- CBT can really help with this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please tell me how common this! She is a 23 and has discovered that a few future teammates are local tonight and they have not called her. This hurts! She is in pain over this- she says this has happened her whole life and was hoping to not deal with this in college. Ugh

She should not expect this, and you should not be leading her to expect this. They are in the area for some other reason and they're probably busy doing whatever thing they came here to do. Or maybe they, too, have social anxiety and don't like to call people they haven't met.

She will definitely have to deal with "this" in college and for the rest of her life, because it is normal human behavior. It's your job to teach her how to cope, not to reinforce her unrealistic expectations and reward her with attention.

[Anonymous]

So your DD is a senior in HS and some girls that will be teammates of hers next year in college were in your town and she is upset that they didn’t call her? Do these future teammates even really know her yet? I’m not understanding how this is causing any kind of angst for your DD.

[Anonymous]

Be proactive and confident, contact them and say you are bored and would love to joon. As simple as that.

[Anonymous]

If she wants it to be different, she has to deal in a different way.